26 January 2010

Talking to the Adoption Intake Worker

So last Friday I was procrastinating (like I am right now!) in my classroom and I figured that I wasn't doing anything particularly important so I had the time to call. I decided to place the call on my cell phone (which is a no no!) in my classroom since I didn't want to use one of the school phones. I don't know why I feel that I need to be secretive, but it's hard to find a private place in an elementary school!

To my surprise the intake worker answered the phone right away. She took a while to find my e-mail since she's has had quite a few requests for adoption information -- which is a good thing, yes?

Adopting from the Child.ren's A.id S.ociety seems to be quite the long and involved process. We have to attend an information meeting on February 22nd and then we need to get trained. The training process is called P.RIDE (I can't remember what the acronym stands for!) and it is 27 hours long . The C.AS runs the training twice a year and there is a waiting list (of course!). We can get certified privately but the course runs about $1400 for the both of us. 

After the P.RIDE training is done then we will be eligible for the home study process. Again, there is a wait list. 

After completing these two steps we will be able to be considered for adoption. 

The intake worker did say that if we were open to more ages and family histories then our opportunities will be more vast. When she asked me what ages we would consider I said not older than 7, but I would be willing to go a bit older. She also stressed that infant adoption is very rare, which I already knew.

I know that I may be reading into our conversation, but she almost sounded like she was trying to dissuade me from the process. She asked me why we were going this route and I told her that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and if we did the private adoption route that we wouldn't be able to afford it.

Now saying all of this, Mr. JB is all on fire to adopt from Haiti. He even said on Sunday that he wants a little kid to say things like, "Arrete Papa," (Stop Dad) to him. 

I know that we could borrow the money, or refinance our mortgage or even borrow from our families, but I don't want to go into any more debt than we are! House renovations, a mortgage and we'll have to buy a new car for Mr. JB  -- the spending list seems endless! 

We definitely need all of your good thoughts and prayers as we start this journey. It seems like there's going to be A LOT more waiting for us! Being an impatient person doesn't help at all! 

6 comments:

  1. Found you through Mel's blogroll. You have my thought and prayers as you begin your adoption journey. We chose the adoption route after TTC (with endo) and are now parenting two beautiful kiddos. I hope your dreams come true too. We are in Alberta btw.

    I agree with you that the process through CAS (and here ACS) is long and arduous. We were licensed foster-adoption homes twice, but never received placement as our children came shortly after that through our private agency. I too felt that the adoption worker tried to dissuade us to go through adoption, but rather to foster for awhile. We were willing to do that but were also seeking permanency. I have wondered since if it was just her way of weeding out the ones who weren't hardy enough to endure the process. It is hard.

    The parallel experience to P.RIDE for us was exceptional. Even though we never adopted through ACS, our children came to us through similar family circumstance as would be presenting by ACS situations. So it was very helpful in so many ways.

    Blessings on your journey!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so glad that you're starting this journey! Even though it can be daunting because of all the waiting and classes and everything. Ugh, I just HATE that money plays a part in us having a family. That is just so wrong. And sad. Keep us updated on everything!

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's great that you are getting started on the process, especially since it's a long one. The money part is one of the most annoying things about dealing with IF and making the decision to adopt.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think there's a weeding out process involved, as Tammy so eloquently put it. My MIL is a social worker for Child Protective Services and every time I mention that we may consider adoption some day, she's quick to list the challenges and downsides. She does so, almost reflexively. I think it's a reaction to the mysterious "just adopt" mentality that pervades people's perception of the process.

    Also, in the States, I know several families in various areas who felt they were being pressured to be foster families, as that made life easier for CPS. They needed decent foster homes.

    Anyway, I hope you find the right path for you and Mr JB, and that the wait is not too long...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I found C.AS to be kind of discouraging, too. I was a little surprised by it. But I also think it is to weed out the people who aren't doing things for the right reasons.

    You can do the homestudy privately as well, I think it runs about $2K if I remember correctly.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Would it be faster if you pay out the $2,800? If that is all you have to put into the adoption. I would say it is worth it. Or am I missing the picture!? :)

    ReplyDelete