20 January 2010

Realization

So while I was driving to work yesterday a thought popped into my head.

JellyBelly you're going to be a mom.

I have no idea when.

Or how long it will take.

Or even how it will happen.

But I'm going to be a mom.

I haven't had a thought like that in a LONG time.

I'm also thinking that I should the C.hildren's A.id S.ociety. I'm tired of waiting for an e-mail response. I also need to feel like I have a tiny bit of control. 

My biggest struggle right now is to finally clear out the "room that was to be a nursery."

I've put it off for too long and clearing out the crap (yes, there is just junk in there and it's embarrassing! Our cleaning lady isn't even allowed in the room!) will make me feel better. I have to stop thinking of the disappointment that the room symbolizes. 

I need a kick in the pants or at least a deadline or some people to report to. Mr. JB never pushes me to clean it out since he knows how hard it is for me to be in the room. 

I'll come up with a timeline sometime today. 

I will reclaim that room. 

I will. 

14 comments:

  1. I can TOTALLY relate! I have to admit that something changed in my heart after watching GIMH and AYWH go through their whirlwind adoptions. I realized that it would be a good idea for us to have a few things lined up. Until this point, it has been too painful to even go there.

    Good luck moving forward! xoxo

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  2. It definitely takes courage to move to that next step of setting up a nursery. But, it's true - you never know what may happen. You may get approved to adopt and matched in the same week!
    Our "nursery" is a sewing room/children's book repository/storage room for all the house renovation supplies that we need upstairs. It's not a pretty sight!

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  3. Yes, you will be a Mom. Good luck with cleaning out the room. You'll be glad you did.

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  4. yea! I like that thought! You WILL be a Mom! We just have to wait to find out when and how.

    I have one of those rooms too! We have a tiny room that is our "office," but we intended it to be the nursery, so we never set it up as an office. And now it is basically just a large closet. (which, honestly, is kind of nice because we live in a small 101-year-old house in the city, so we have no storage) Our cleaning lady would not go in there, because what would she clean? There is barely any surface not stacked with stuff -- books, papers, craft supplies, wrapping paper. I don't have the heart to organize it or spend time in there.

    But I've been feeling inspired to clean it out soon too -- maybe we can encourage eachother. I am hoping my sister and my lil' nephew will come visit and that will create the first deadline: must clear stuff out enough to fit his pack n play in the room.

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  5. I am SO SO Happy that you had this realization, you will be a mom, because you will not stop until it happens, that is why.
    Call the childrens aid society!

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  6. We have our nursery mostly ready but then every once in awhile my husband will stick a box in there to store. I keep reminding him that is NOT what that room is for, and it hurts me a little. But, then, he's right, it's not being used right now. Sigh.

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  7. This post makes me smile.

    Because you are right, you WILL be a mom.

    And if there is anything I can do to help you - even if it is digging out the room, let me know!

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  8. What a hopeful reminder! Our future nursery is actually has bunk beds (my parents moved overseas and gave them to us) and the closet is just storage. I rarely go in there unless I'm trying to find something.

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  9. so happy for you Jelly belly!
    you WILL be a mom, no doubt in my
    mind.....clear that room and make
    space for the little one!!!

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  10. WOO-HOOO!!! Go JB!!! I'm so excited for you!!!!

    And while you make a timeline to clean that room....You can clean out the word verification on your blog too! ;) hehehe I'm on a mission to erradicate word verification one blog at a time. ;)

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  11. While I don't have a former-future-nursery and I'm not calling an adoption agency, I HAVE experienced recently that a timetable and reachable expectations do help in the mire of IF-related lethargy and motivation-less-ness. Clean that room! You can do it! Take a before and after picture, and one at each intermediate stage (and share them!). You deserve recognition for an accomplishment that won't be easy.

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  12. We have a room, too! Fortunately (or unfortunately) we were already a couple of months into our IF journey when we moved in, so I insisted from the start that it be the little room and not the nursery. Mostly, we dry our laundry in there or store stuff that needs to go to the basement, or use it for our inflatable bed for guests. I like having the storage, but I like knowing I can have that stuff out of there right quick, too, and using it for guests means that it doesn't take on a permanent storage function. So glad that you're working on coming to terms with your room :)
    I promise to cheer for before and after photos! - hedwig

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