31 March 2013

24 March 2013

Palm Sunday Resonance

So Holy Week begins.

The end of Lent always seems to sneak up on me. Perhaps it's because I have struggled with my Lenten promises -- we had a visiting statue of the Virgin Mary at the beginning of Lent and we prayed the rosary every night, and when she left we completely fell apart. It may also have to do with the stress of having an incompetent student teacher (who was not happy with her review, but I was happy with what I wrote, honesty hurts, but it had to be done).

Today at mass during the Passion, a couple of things hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have struggled with God's will for my life and my path to motherhood. I prayed for strength. I have prayed for surrender. When our pastor read this I knew that God was talking right to my heart:

Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done.

Exactly what my heart and head needed to hear.

We met with our social worker on Friday to continue with our homestudy. I felt a bit guilty since we didn't do any of our adoption "homework" which is kind of funny since we're both teachers. There's quite a bit of paperwork to get through and the only thing I did was get my criminal reference check from France (which I am still waiting for, another exercise in patience!).

It amazes me how easy the homestudy is going, thus far. The fact that I feel so relaxed and calm just proves to met that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.

Yes, almost eight years, four surgeries, $50K++ in medical bills, countless appointments, numerous specialists, countless medications and oceans of tears I feel ready to follow another path.

Which brings me to the other part of the Passion that almost brought me to my knees:

Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For the days are surely coming when they will say, "Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed." Then they will begin to say to the mountains, "Fall on us," and to the hills, "Cover us." For they do this when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry? 

I am almost certain that my interpretation is probably incorrect, but it was nice to get a "shout out" from the Bible this morning. I don't often feel blessed in my barrenness, but perhaps I am in the process of discovering the true blessings.

I am going my hardest to make this holiest of weeks count. My patience has been tested in more than one way and I know that I need to refocus and keep my eyes on the cross.

17 March 2013

Back to reality...

All good things must come to an end.


It is understatement that I didn't want to come home.

I especially didn't want to have to deal with subzero temperatures (although there isn't more snow) or having to go to work tomorrow.

I've hosted a student teacher for the past month and it has become more work than I had bargained for. It's like having another larger, more needy student, not another adult. I just finished writing an interim report that outlines all of her shortcomings.

Suffice it to say that I will have a very unhappy person in my midst come Tuesday morning.

Is there an easy way to tell someone that their French is crap and they have no classroom management?

I don't have a problem telling little kids what they can do better, but a thirty-four year old mature student?

Yup, I'm having difficulty.

I'm having a particularly hard time since I've tried to tell her in many different ways what she can do to improve, but she doesn't listen (or isn't able to?). My gut says that she isn't 100% invested in becoming a teacher.

And that really bothers me.

I love being a teacher. I love my students. I also believe that God called me to my profession.

My student teacher.

Not so much.

And it really bothers me that one day she will get a job and will teach little kids. And they'll see right through her.

It also really sucks that I'm responsible for telling her this sad truth.

Have I mentioned that she is my first student teacher? And I almost begged to have one?

Honestly, why do I feel like God is having a good chuckle on my behalf?

p.s. Happy St. Paddy's Day!

15 March 2013

What a way to end a vacation....

I suspected that she was going to arrive.

No late cycle boob pain.

A call from my Napro doctor to increase my progesterone since the 200mg plus HCG just wasn't enough.

The fact that I could feel the pressure in my pelvis when I woke up this morning.

Yes, AF got to spend the day at the beach with me today.


Thank God for Margaritas.

I may have to make one when I home.

Or a pitcher.

I'm going to focus on our next homestudy appointment on the 22nd.

And I will try not to steal any adorable Mexican children at the airport.

And here is our last towel animal:

14 March 2013

Allergies & Dinosaurs

Today was a lazy beach day. The most strenuous thing I did was pool aerobics (which wasn't that taxing).

It was lovely just lying on the beach lounger.

And moving to the quiet pool.

Then the party pool.

Then back to the beach.

I'm not the best at doing nothing, so I tried really hard.

It make me kinda sad that tomorrow is our last full day here.

Which brings me to my allergies: I didn't realize that we were getting fed on our flights. The tour representative can't help us, so I emailed the airline. I'm supposed to organize my special meal 72 hours before departure so I'm a bit late.

The worst part is that our airport shuttle leaves at 6am and the buffet isn't open for breakfast until 7am. So I'm in a pickle.

Or in this case I'm out of pickles.

Cross your fingers that I can find something in town that's allergy-friendly!

Here's our cute dinosaur:

13 March 2013

Pope Francis I, pray for us!

What exciting news!!!

We have a new Pontiff!

Habemus Papum!

Even the doggy towel animal was glued to the television.

12 March 2013

Papal Conclaves & Ruins

Mr JB and I had a great day visiting the Mayan ruins at Ek-Balam and also visited the Cenote Maya (which is an underground natural pool that's 80cm in diameter). Mr JB repelled down and I took the stairs.

This is not the most exciting news of the day.

Most of you know that my brother-in-law is a Jesuit priest. He's currently studying in Rome and this morning he was interviewed by our national broadcaster's morning show. If you're interested in watching the clip you can send me an email at jellybelly_75 at yahoo dot com. I don't want to post the link here since this is technically an anonymous blog.

Needless to say, Mr JB and I are so proud of him!

Here's our towel animal of the day. It's clearly an elephant.

11 March 2013


So, Mr JB and I are taking it easy before we head to dinner -- it's International Night at the buffet, I'm so curious! The food has been amazing (even when I had to have a special meal because there was nothing I could have). AND there's nothing like a breakfast buffet, especially one that has a Vi.tamix (if you don't know what a Vi.tamix is, google it, we LOVE ours at home!).

Anyhow, back to my complaining.

We're watching "Fri.ends" on one of the few English channels that we have and the episode is all about Monica and Chandler's IF. I remember watching the episodes when they first aired, but they didn't make any impression back in 2004 when I was blissfully ignorant to my body's brokenness.

I also can't help but think that Dr Hilgers could've helped them.

I should look at the bright side: they did end up adopting.

Perhaps this is a sign?

Or perhaps I got too much sun (which I did, I got a little burn on my chest despite the sunscreen) and we shouldn't watch TV while on vacation.

I just wish that IF could take a vacation too.

Btw, here's our towel animal of the day:

10 March 2013

A dream come true!

I've always wanted to stay at a place that made towel animals.

I guess I'm pretty easy to please.

[Yeah, right!]

We went to mass in Spanish this morning at a beautiful church on the beach. It had to be one of the most picturesque masses I have attended.

I think it may be time to get acquainted with a beach chair....

8 March 2013

Leaving on a jet plane...

It is once again March Break!

I almost didn't make it, particularly because of my student teacher, but that is a story for another time.

I'm going to try to sleep a bit before the airport limo comes to get us at 2:30am. Honestly, leaving at 6:30am seemed like a good idea when we booked our trip!

I am so excited to be going away. I hope to post when we're in the sun!