7 April 2010

A Strange Anniversary

A year ago today I had my first surgery.

And I found out that my ladyparts were a huge, horrible mess.

If you want a refresher, check this out.

It was quite the diagnosis to get. I had a feeling that it was bad, but stage IV (and as my surgeon said, stage IV IV), ovarian cysts, uterine fibroids, adhesions that were so bad that my right fallopian tube was obstructed.


So after four months of lovely L.upron and having to deal with hot flashes and crazy hormones, I got to have my second surgery which was much more intensive and that cleaned everything up.


I wish that I could say that all is wonderful and that I'm 100% confident that we will conceive, but we've had five cycles post L.upron and still nothing (although I'm Peak +5 today so who knows...). I see my Napro doctor next week to see if doubling the dose of F.emara has helped my hormone levels go up since the HCG just wasn't enough. I'm almost sure that it has helped since I had boob tenderness and acne for the first time in AGES!

The one thing that I've learned through all of this is that I'm used to disappointment. I've had almost five years to learn how to deal with it. I'm not saying that I'm good at dealing with it, but I'm no longer falling apart on CD1.

My next biggest hurdle is completing the adoption paperwork. The scariest part is having to get a criminal check from France since I lived there for more than six months. I can imagine how difficult that is going to be!

Thank you for all of you support, if it wasn't for all of you I wouldn't have been able to get through both surgeries and the horrible recovery. I know that I hated the belly button and lower abdomen scar, but they've both healed up nicely. I have battle scars leading me to motherhood, I just hope that it can be sooner, rather than later.


  1. wow, that diagnoses waking up from surgery had to knock you off your feet! amazing. I'm so glad you got it all and I hope with time you'll get pg and have a health pregnancy.

    btw, criminal check from France. how cool are you? did you do anything bad while there..........just joking.

  2. Barbie, the wildest time of my life happened while living in France! I'm so much tamer while living in North America! ;)

  3. I really hope it happens for you soon too. You more then deserve to move on from the IF trenches.
    Fingers crossed that this cycle is the one!!
    Just a question, how are your cycles now that everything has been cleared up? are they more bearable?

  4. I still remember that day when I think your Mr. Jelly Belly posted that it was worse than they thought and you would require a 2nd surgery. Wow, I can't believe it has been a year, but then again, hopefully you are further down the path of complete recovery. I hope you get answers to the femera question. God Bless!

  5. I can relate to your post. Sad to say, but we do get used to disappointment. It's hard to keep going on this road of IF, especially after so long. I'm praying for you!!

  6. I think I need to hear the tales of French JellyBelly.

    I’m not there yet. I get the news of a bfn (usually a few days b/f CD1 b/c of blood work), and crumble like a big baby.

    I hope your hormones are improving. Good luck this cycle.

  7. The paperwork was daunting but I didn't have to deal with a foreign country. I did have to deal with a horrible woman at the courthouse who did my fingerprints and acted like I was a criminal even after I told her I was getting them for an adoption. She was scary.

  8. How great that you are moving forward on adoption paperwork. I hope that you'll have a healthy pregnancy soon.

  9. I'm sorry to be so absent but know that I am here cheering you on as you walk that path.

    I can't wait to hear more about the adoption paperwork -- and let me second (and third) the calls for stories about the french years!



  10. For some reason, I think your wild is still on the ok side of things!

    I hope this anniversary looks a lot different next year.

  11. I had my 2 yr anniversary on Easter :)

    Happy Anniversary!

  12. I remember all those anniversaries, for me it was august 14 years ago. Every august, and then subsequent springs (when I had the big laporotomy) would make me sad, it's a kicker of a reminder.

    Good luck with the paper work!

  13. Still praying! I can't believe it's been a year!