16 April 2010

Attack of the Fertiles

Lord please help me.

I finally spoke to my maid of honour. It only took three weeks and I tried really hard to avoid having to talk to her, but I did. Part of me was hoping that she was being cowardly, but no, she was just clueless. She spent most of our conversation giving me some completely clueless fertility advice.

Yes, fertility advice girls.

So for all of you infertiles out there, here's the holy grail:

1) When you get pg, don't have sex for a REALLY long time. Apparently there were six pg women around her that all lost their babies because they got it on with their mates.

2) Don't think about getting pg. If you think about it, it won't work. She has a friend at work that had the "same surgery" as I did and she stopped thinking about getting pg and guess what? She's pg! Wow!

Yes, she actually said both things to me. I was glad that I only have 8 minutes to talk because I was ready to lose my mind. I also asked her why her husband who made her get an IUD gave in to having a second. Apparently it was the work of their daughter (my goddaughter) who constantly begged for a sibling. And guess what, it only took a month to get pg, not the ten it took for her first.

Honestly, there is no justice.

I hope that I've bought some time until the next phone call. She's due at the end of the month so she will be busy and since she is so self-absorbed I don't think that it will occur to her that she should call me back.

Btw, I didn't mention to her that I'm Peak +14 today (although she was fishing for an answer as to whether or not we had a successful cycle). I don't POAS ever since the last time I did I got my period the next day. If I make it to Peak +17 (which will be miraculous), then perhaps I will POAS, but only then. My only symptoms are extreme tiredness and the worst grumpies that I have ever had. I asked my class this week what they would do if I started to cry in front of them! They weren't even being bad, but they were just being so annoying!

I digress.

We just got back from my fertile best friend's house. We had dinner over there since Mr. JB hadn't met the new baby yet. It's definitely easier to be around the little guy now that he isn't a newborn. I even held him for a little while, which is a HUGE thing. At least her older kids love me to bits (her older son cuddled with me on the couch while we played W.ii and he always says that he loves me!). My bf and I talked about my ridiculous conversation with my MOH and she tried to stick up for her. When I told her about what she actually said, she agreed that my MOH is just clueless.

Like I've said before, at least my fertile best friend told me that she was expecting AND I knew that she wanted to have a bunch of kids. She didn't go through the charade of pretending that she didn't. I expected her to get pg with her third child and she was visibly anguished when she gave me the news. But at the end of it all, she still gets pg when she thinks about it.

I'm so jealous right now.

Needless to say, I'm feeling extra special barren right now. I haven't felt like this in a long time.

I need to go to bed or eat chocolate or maybe eat chocolate in bed!

I need prayers girls. Lots and lots.


  1. I understand feeling the "attack of the fertiles"; I got a baby shower invitation follow by a pregnancy announcement of #3 by my cousin. I'm so sorry that your MOH is completely clueless and self-absorbed. I'll be praying for you. Hugs.

  2. I want to smack your MOH for you! Seriously I have no patience for cr*p advice. Of course, I'm just a little pregnant right now and have no filter anymore! I wish I could tell you that it ends when you get pregnant but then people like her say things like "see all you had to do was..." and I remind them of surgery and hormone shots to which they look at me in disbelief and make more stupid comments.

    Oh the whole man thong thing was just wrong! I'm so glad that I have 1:1 yoga lessons! Although at water aerobics there are these older guys that hang out in the hot tub and watch our class - icky!

  3. Argh. I can't believe she said those things to you.
    I do understand how you feel right now and am so sorry. I pray you will be blessed very soon.

  4. I think you need a chocolate bed.

    Mmmm... chocolate bed...

    Seriously, stop thinking about getting pg??? I'm gonna try that with other stuff that I want. I'm gonna stop thinking about $$ and see if it just starts showing up in my mailbox. That would be sweet.

    Honest to Pete. She is right up there with that chick who got pg 3 xs under a yr giving me TTC advice.

  5. Your MOH will one day need compassion and she will not find it and maybe she will remember the moment she so callously hurt your heart.
    I am so glad you were able to have fun with your other friend and her family ;) Being around little kids sometimes is just what the doctor orders to put some life back in my step!
    Praying, praying that you have to poas and get the suprise of your life :)

  6. Just sent some prayers your way! So sorry about the MOH "advice." That would be rough!

    Big Hugs,

  7. I apologize for clueless and insensitive fertiles everywhere. I think I used to be an ignorant fertile, and I have learned so much from you wonderful ladies. I'm sorry you have to go through all that. :(

  8. Ugh, I'm so with you. It seems like an extremely fertile week for the world around me! (Does that even make sense?) It doesn't help that yesterday was CD1. Prayers going your way.

  9. Don't forget to prop your hips up. While on vacation. That will cure you.

    I am sorry she was so clueless and spouted "advice."

  10. Chocolate in bed. And a glass of red wine, perhaps. And hugs.

  11. how old is your MOH? gosh, cause she sounds just like my father! yep, he is ignorant, old-fashion and have no clue about women/pregnancy but just LOVES GIVING STUPID ADVICES!!! i'll give you a stupid advice he gave me...don't ride the bus when you are pregnant..all that shaking etc ..man you will lose your baby especially since you are so old..i guess i am old at 38! well at least with this chick you can always avoid her phone calls or how about avoid her completely. Now with my dad..no can do unfortunately.

    People like your MOH who has it easy with getting pregnant shows no empathy or compassion towards you and others who are riding this infertility journey! All i have to say to ignorant people like that is "walk in your shoes , experience what you are going through..then maybe we can talk..but not until then so leave your stupid opinions to yourself.

    i've encountered other women who are as ignorant as her and i know how you feel! hey, why not enjoy that chocolate in bed and if she calls..gosh, i think your phone is not working...oops sorry!
    You have enough on your plate the last thing you need right now is to be around such a negative unsupportive, self-centered person like her. excuse my language but it is time to kick her to the curb. trust me you'll feel much better. well that is just my opinion.

  12. You know, I always wanted to be really, really crude and say this when people started with the "Relax", "Take a vacation" crap...

    "Man, we're doing everything right, I think! Wait. WHICH hole is it supposed to go in??!"

    People can be so silly. I am really working on my reaction to stupid people lately. (I read a trick - pretend you're an Oscar winning actress and your character is a kind, gentle, peaceful person who never gets riled and has endless patience for ignorance. Be in character when responding to stupidity - stay in character at all costs - the Oscar is riding on this!)
    It's a work in progress, to say the least.

    PS Just do it during a full moon. [Rolls eyes.]


  13. There is no justice!! People who haven't experienced this can never understand, but at least your BF tries to be sensitive to what you're going through. I hope it's your turn very soon!

  14. Grrrr....sorry you had to endure that conversation. I don't know how you did it! I think I might have created some fake static and hung up :)

  15. I vote for chocolate in bed!

  16. Ugh, your MOH is so fantastically clueless, makes me want to smack some sense into her!!