5 October 2011

The Wall

It hit me today.

This is it.

My surgery with Dr. Hilgers is the last thing that we are going to do to restore my fertility. My third, and final surgery.

If this doesn't work, we move on.

When we started this journey WAY back in July 2005, I couldn't imagine that six years later that we would still be childless, but here we are.

We are so blessed to be able to have the choice to have this surgery. Everything has come into place to make this surgery happen. I know in my heart that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Regardless of the outcome, I will not regret our decision to go to Omaha.

But I'm scared.

So desperately scared.

My back is against the wall and I'm starting at all of my fears straight in the eye.

Dear God, please help me!

17 comments:

  1. That wall is Him supporting you Jelly Belly. May God Bless you during this crazy/exciting/scary time! Praying right now for you.

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  2. I echo Made For Another World's comment! Praying, friend!

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  3. Oh sweet friend, I'm praying for you! Never give up trusting that you are exactly where you are suppose to be! I'm praying for you extra and hoping that any anxiety you may be feeling will lessen...keep that head up and keep on trusting! Praying!!

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  4. Just remember that Dr. H's hands have been touched by JPII, so they are relics!! I always remember that. I love seeing that picture at his office of him and JPII holding hands.

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  5. God will help you! And I will be praying for you!

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  6. I know EXACTLY what you mean. We went through this in June when we said Clear Passage was our last big treatment.

    It is hopeful, exciting, and scary all at the same time.

    Don't worry about the future. Remember last week's readings at Mass ;)

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  7. All of the comments have been so eloquently spoken. Ditto to all of them. Praying for you! Peace.

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  8. Praying... as my stepmom likes to remind me, we really don't know what doors will open in the future. Just take it one day at a time.

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  9. Don't be scared!!! Be excited! Partly because you get to see me, and partly because I firmly believe there's no better surgeon alive today than Dr. Hilgers. From one pelvic abscess sufferer to another...miracles are possible and Dr. Hilgers makes them happen. Watching my before and after surgery videos, I was in complete disbelief. Seven months later, here I sit, growing my lil babe, still in disbelief over what Dr. Hilgers has made possible.

    Even if it doesn't result in a baby Jellybelly, you'll know you did everything you could...for me that was huge. And at the very, very least, you'll know your insides are as healthy as they can be! That alone is a wonderful gift.

    I will pray for you to feel hope and joy and not anxiety. Plus, like I said, you get to see me, so that makes you pretty darn lucky. Haha!! :)

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  10. We had the same mindset too back in 2008! I agree w/ Hebrews, it is worth the hope :)

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  11. I hope with our prayers your fear goes away!!!!! I am SO happy for you to be going to Hilgers!!!!!! Praying for you always dear. Hugs

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  12. Deep breaths. Keep calm and carry on. You're doing the right thing, regardless of outcome. So the only thing to do now - deep breaths. :)

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  13. Praying for you!! May the Lord's will be done and and may you be blessed with the children He has planned for you!

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  14. Praying for you! You ARE in the right place. It will be worth it.

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  15. Everyone has said it better than I can. I'm praying for you!

    -January

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  16. God is present with you:) let this comfort you. I have so much hope for you. Praying at daily mass for you this week!!!

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