Elizabeth

I remember when we were engaged and we would talk about what we would name our kids.

Elizabeth was my number one choice.

It seems like my choice was foreshadowing things to come.

This morning's homily was all about pregnancy and waiting. Our pastor spoke of the beauty of a pregnant woman and how the anticipation of birth is such a great metaphor for Advent. He also spoke of the differences in age between Elizabeth and Mary. He figured that Elizabeth was almost 50 while Mary was barely 16.

Like so many of us, I thought that I would be a mother in my early 30's. I knew that I wouldn't be a young mother since I didn't get married until I was 30, but I figured that we would have a couple of kids in quick succession. It wasn't a question, or so I thought back then. Now here I am, almost 35 and I'm still childless.

Our pastor mentioned that his mother had him when she was 45. He also mentioned that his mother was quite embarrassed since all of the other mothers were in their 20's.

I realize that the stigma of being an older mother isn't what it was years ago. My fertile best friend talks about how young she is in comparison to the other mother's in her daughter's class. The majority are in their 40's and some have fathers well into their 50's. I know that I'm quite a way from being a 50 year old mom, but I'm so scared that I'm going to spend the next 5 years being barren.

But in the end Elizabeth did get her baby.

I don't think that our pastor meant for the infertile in me to feel all sad and despondent. I think that I wanted me to find hope in the fact that after all of her years petitioning and praying that she did get what her heart desired.

I need to be patient, so much more patient than I have been.

St. Elizabeth please help me to follow your example, I really need your help right now.