15 December 2009


I was hoping.

I know that I said that I was okay with having low progesterone levels.

I may have fibbed just a little bit.

I didn't feel like crying when I saw the tinge of pink on the toilet paper, but I didn't feel like dancing either.

I think that it may be time to investigate adoption.

Really. I think that I'm finally ready.

It's not about being pregnant, it's about being a mother.

I also don't think that putting Ralph in my purse and smuggling him home for the Christmas holidays is an option. It would definitely make his mama sad if I did that!

It's okay that my period started today. I was still on antibiotics around ovulation AND it was my first cycle off of L.upron.

I also made it to Peak +14 (14 days past ovulation, although according to the ultrasound that I had on November 26th I ovulated then, I've had a LONG luteal phase!).

Bring on the HCG!

I can't wait to feel normal again!

p.s. I must've had a team of guardian angels on my way home tonight. I went to C.ostco after yoga to get some last minute gifts and when I left the store the roads were like a sheet of ice! It took me an hour to get home when it usually takes 15 minutes! When I was almost home I skidded and crashed into a curb. I got out to check out the damage and there was nothing. Mr. JB took a look when I got home and the rim of my tire is bent a tiny bit, but everything seems okay. I was still shaking until about 15 minutes ago. Thank God I have good tires!


  1. Thank God you're okay!! Sorry about cd1. But doesn't Creighton say you have a year after surgery to see if fertility was restored? You are just beginning!! But I think it's a great idea that you feel ready to explore adoption. I pray that God guides you as you start the process.

  2. So sorry about CD1. But, keep your chin up! You are just coming off surgery and Lupron. Give your body a little time. I know it hasn't been very kind to you in the past, but, hopefully it's very thankful right now since it's all clean and pretty :) Sending prayers your way!

  3. I'm glad you made it home safely! The icy roads came out of nowhere last night.

    I'm sorry about CD1. Nurture yourself as your body recovers from the surgery.

  4. The longer LP is a good start. I know CD1 sucks no matter how you look at it, though.

    We have looked into adoption in the area, so if you want to chat, let me know.

  5. Yes this is just the beginning of your trying. Your body needs a few cycles (hopefully not many) to get back on track.

    I am just happy to hear you are okay!

  6. So glad you're okay!!! Ice makes me nervous, especially since I grew up in the South and didn't see any until I was 21'ish.

    I think it's great if you want to start exploring adoption. There is a lot to learn, as I'm finding out, but it feels good to be on a path that is productive. I still have hope that we will get pregnant soon, but being able to stop waiting and start DOING is just what I need right now. Especially this time of year...
    Good luck with whatever you decide!

  7. you are right, it's about being a mother not about being pregnant. Once I realized that I was full in for adoption! God Bless.

  8. It was slipppy last night wasnt it!

    I think exploring adoption is FABULOUS! IT all takes FOR-Evah to do anything so why not look now - get hte information, see what kind of adoption you may want to do?I know I've looked alittle, and because you guys are catholic, there are private adoption agencies in ontario that you maybe intersted in that are catholicly - oriented....
    For me, exploring adoption, or other methods to becoming a mother, is not about giving up on being pregnant, but, about recognizing the larger desire that you have to be a mom, after all if being a mother is the goal, then why not start the adoption process?

  9. I'm glad you're ok despite the ice craziness. Sorry about CD 1. Good luck getting started on adoption.

  10. I know just how you feel. After hearing first-account stories from everyone (patients of my same Dr, even) who "got pg immediately after the lap/ovarian wedge/fill-in-the-blank surgery" I was devastated when that first cycle didn't work.
    And yes, to be fair, you should give it 12-18 effective cycles post-surgery. But who wants to wait that long? :)
    I'm still holding out hope that this surgery did restore your fertility and that it will just take time to completely heal. Maybe a BFP this winter...

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