So I had to skip yoga tonight.
I'm not sick, but I'm definitely tired. A tired that seems to have taken over my life.
I remember, perhaps last year before my surgeries, a JellyBelly that had energy. I could teach all day, practice yoga and still have energy to do work when I got home. Fast forward a year and I can barely drag myself off the couch to eat dinner. I was even debating not eating because I was too exhausted to walk a couple of metres to get my dinner from the fridge (God bless my husband, he's out with the boys tonight and he made sure that I didn't have to worry about cooking!).
There was a time when I was able to cook, tidy up the kitchen and even prepare the next day's lunch.
I'm even too tired to be frustrated about my tiredness. I had to contemplate how much energy it would take to get the laptop open to blog!
I sent my adrenal spit test in last week, July 12th to be exact -- I cannot believe how much spit I had to produce to fill the four vials. I felt dehydrated after filling the last tube! -- and my naturopath got the results today. I made an appointment for Saturday afternoon and I have never been so excited to see her in my life! Like Sew (although to a smaller degree) I cannot wait to reclaim my life. I want to be able to feel like a completely functioning human being, not a tired, sad shell of a girl that I've become!
Again, it's because of so many of you that I've been brought to this point. In the past I would've chalked up my fatigue to external factors like working or having a long school year or even the weather. I know now that how I feel isn't normal and that I don't have to settle.
I don't know if the next puzzle piece to my overall health is going to bring me a baby, but I will be healthy (although a baby would be a wonderful reward for all of this!).
p.s. To answer Misfit's question from my previous post: Yes, I lived in France. When I finished my M.A. in French literature I took part in an exchange program with a university just outside of the city. I spent 18 months living in the most beautiful city in the world. In an ideal world I would love to spend every summer living in Paris, but my heart belongs to my beloved Canada. When I made the decision to return home in 2001 I knew that there would be no turning back and I have never regretted my decision. Part of me had to run away to Europe to find who I was and I had to return home to realize that. Lastly, I married a unilingual anglophone. There's no way that Mr. JB would live in France (or anywhere else besides where we live right now, the only other place he would consider is his hometown, but I refuse to live in the country!).