22 July 2010

Tired, tired JellyBelly

So I had to skip yoga tonight.

I'm not sick, but I'm definitely tired. A tired that seems to have taken over my life.

I remember, perhaps last year before my surgeries, a JellyBelly that had energy. I could teach all day, practice yoga and still have energy to do work when I got home. Fast forward a year and I can barely drag myself off the couch to eat dinner. I was even debating not eating because I was too exhausted to walk a couple of metres to get my dinner from the fridge (God bless my husband, he's out with the boys tonight and he made sure that I didn't have to worry about cooking!).

There was a time when I was able to cook, tidy up the kitchen and even prepare the next day's lunch.


I'm even too tired to be frustrated about my tiredness. I had to contemplate how much energy it would take to get the laptop open to blog!

I sent my adrenal spit test in last week, July 12th to be exact -- I cannot believe how much spit I had to produce to fill the four vials. I felt dehydrated after filling the last tube! -- and my naturopath got the results today. I made an appointment for Saturday afternoon and I have never been so excited to see her in my life! Like Sew (although to a smaller degree) I cannot wait to reclaim my life. I want to be able to feel like a completely functioning human being, not a tired, sad shell of a girl that I've become!

Again, it's because of so many of you that I've been brought to this point. In the past I would've chalked up my fatigue to external factors like working or having a long school year or even the weather. I know now that how I feel isn't normal and that I don't have to settle.

I don't know if the next puzzle piece to my overall health is going to bring me a baby, but I will be healthy (although a baby would be a wonderful reward for all of this!).

p.s. To answer Misfit's question from my previous post: Yes, I lived in France. When I finished my M.A. in French literature I took part in an exchange program with a university just outside of the city. I spent 18 months living in the most beautiful city in the world. In an ideal world I would love to spend every summer living in Paris, but my heart belongs to my beloved Canada. When I made the decision to return home in 2001 I knew that there would be no turning back and I have never regretted my decision. Part of me had to run away to Europe to find who I was and I had to return home to realize that. Lastly, I married a unilingual anglophone. There's no way that Mr. JB would live in France (or anywhere else besides where we live right now, the only other place he would consider is his hometown, but I refuse to live in the country!).


  1. Oh, frustration! UGH! I am sorry you are suffering so.
    But, I can't help but be hopeful with all you and Sew and others are discovering. It is just not "normal" to be that tired, and so there is clearly something wrong. I am so glad you are on it. Praying!!

  2. Just wanted to say that my mom (who teaches German and lived there for 2 years as an adult) married my very monolingual dad - she didn't wind up in Germany, I did. And now she gets to visit more often than I think she ever planned on.
    I hope very much that there are some answers for you very soon.

  3. i am living in Paris and was very much lucky to find this post and read it.... LIVING IN PARIS

  4. I can't wait to hear what your test results say! Hopefully your new doc will have you feeling great in just a few days :).

  5. Sorry to hear you are feeling so tired, I hope your doctor will find some sort of solution/remedy to help you feel more energetic and feel better!
    Paris, we were there for our honeymoon--went to the paris the city for 1 week and then over to Nice for the 2nd week. I wish we can just fly over there now!
    Hope you will feel better very soon! Get the rest that you need.

  6. Here's hoping you get an answer to why you are so tired! Sending good thoughts!

  7. I hope you get an answer soon. I'm "collecting saliva" today and it is miserable.

  8. Sorry you are feeling so off. I hope you get some answers and some improvement soon. Praying for you.

  9. Sorry your feeling so bad, I hope your doc fixes you up fast!

  10. I hope it gives you some answers!

  11. Please update after you appointment and girl for heaven sakes take off this word verification! ;) So many bloggers so little time to comment! ;) WV slows it all down. :) Luv you!

  12. I just came across your blog today in doing some reading on endo (so glad I did!!). I hope you are feeling well.

    I also wanted to let you know about an online survey that I am doing on endometriosis. You can find more information about the survey and my book at endometriosisstories.blogspot.com. I'd love for you to consider participating.

    In good health - Jessica