My Unfinished Life

I feel like I've been spinning my wheels. In the blissful ignorance of my pre-surgery life, I felt like I was going towards something. Lately, I just feel like I've been stalled, doomed to do nothing and just hopeless.

I apologize for being such a downer folks, but honestly I don't know what to do with myself.

I recognize that my life is a pretty chaotic right now. We're nearing the end of the basement renovations and I am eagerly awaiting having a properly tidy house. Clutter and having things out of order just derails me. I'm the kind of person that has to clean the kitchen and have everything put away even before I can think of cooking something. Nothing makes me happier than having all of my laundry put away.

It's taken all of my might to stop myself from reorganizing the mess since there really isn't anywhere for it to go. Both of our spare rooms are filled to the ceiling and I refuse to add anything to our bedroom. Mr. JB found a box of my summer shoes and it's now sitting in our hallway. Although I do enjoy going through it and finding shoes I haven't seen since last year, the fact that a big brown box is sitting in plain sight is driving me batty!

Last weekend I took all of my frustrations on our front garden. It took me hours to get it cleaned out. I pruned, I re-mulched, I dug out the dead things and I planted some cute flowers. I was so intent in getting the backyard ready, but then Mr. JB got a flat tire and totally threw my plans off course. Then we ran out of soil so I still have a flat of plants waiting on my patio table.
I also have a ton of marking that I have to do. I've been carting around a bag of stuff for days and all I've succeeded in doing is getting a good arm workout while carrying it in and out of my house. I know that it will take no time since I teach grade one, but I just have no desire to do it. At this point all I want to do is make up marks on my students' report cards!

So I had my first post-L.upron follow-up with my surgeon today. I really like him, but his office is pretty chaotic. The waiting room is always filled with colourful characters. This morning was no different. I was already pretty stressed out because of the crazy traffic getting into the city. I really don't know how anyone commutes in that everyday! I was so wound up after being in the car for an hour and half that I arrived with clenched fists and my heart was racing. Thank God for my GPS!

One woman was complaining loudly about her hot flashes, an expectant husband was clutching his wife's purse while he waited for her and there seemed to be some sort of Korean woman reunion going on. I wish I could've understood what they were talking about because they seemed to be having a great time! At least this time the radio was playing waiting room appropriate music. The last time Mr. JB and I were there the radio was blaring dance music! I can honestly say that I have never heard B.on J.ovi full blast while waiting to see any of my other doctors.

When I finally saw Dr. I he was pleased to hear that I wasn't having hot flashes and that my side effects weren't too bad. I had to remind him about my last surgery since he couldn't find my chart. I would love to re-organize his office because it's just nuts in there! It also needs a good re-decorating. I watch way too much H.GTV!

I asked him about adhesion prevention and he told me that he will be using I.nterceed rather G.oretex. Apparently G.oretex is much more expensive. Dr. I was pretty impressed at how much I knew and he was impressed by my research. I mentioned to him, quite vaguely, about my friends in the US that had mentioned it to me (thanks Lifehopes!!!). Dr. I also told me about some sort of washing that he's going to do. I've never heard of that before, have any of you?

I was also concerned because I started bleeding a few days ago. I assumed that on L.upron that I wouldn't be having any sort of AF action. Apparently it's normal to have one last period before everything shuts down. Miraculously I have no cramps. I've had a couple of strange pelvic twinges which I'm assuming is the endo in my bowels.

I will be seeing Dr. I before my next pre-operative appointment. I'm assuming that it will be in July sometime. I'm really hoping that my side-effects the way that they are right now. I'm certain that after school lets out that a lot of the stress will go away.

I have to stop procrastinating. I'd much rather be planting my edible planters (yes, that's the theme in the JellyBelly garden this summer!), but I have stuff to mark.

Sixteen more sleeps, folks. Please pray that I make it in one piece!