15 June 2009

Am I crazy?????

I had the craziest weekend. After the insensitive mother incident that I posted about Saturday we continued to have a jam packed schedule. We went to dinner with friends in the city and then attended a birthday party for another. We had great fun. Food and company were great. I was feeling a little anxious because the friends that we went out with are expecting their first child in September (and yes, they were married TWO years after us), but it was okay. 

Yesterday, Mr. JB and I rowed in a dragonboat festival that is run through a canoe club in our neighbourhood. We didn't do very well (the past two years my team has won medals), but our team had the second highest amount of pledges. All of the funds that we raise go to a local hospital's breast cancer research facility. I am not a very good loser and I'm glad that I participate in only one team sport a year!

And to top it off we had to attend a baptism dinner last night. Honestly, I'm relieved to be at work because at least it isn't as hectic (now that my reports are done, that is). 

So the baptism was for Mr. JB's cousin's second son. We were a bit stressed out because we knew that the baptism conflicted with the race. His aunt's family is, let's say, a bit high maintenance. They're the kind of family that has set very high expectations for their relatives. Mr. JB cannot wear jeans when he goes to his aunt's house (which I think is ridiculous) and it seems like everything is a big production. 

So here is my issue: The last two times we have visited his cousin's house I have not been able to eat the meal that was being served. Most of you know that I have a lot of allergies, and my allergy to eggs is a fatal one (I carry an e.pi pen in my purse at all times). Last night they served homemade burgers (made with eggs) and I had to eat hot dogs. No bun, of course because they didn't have any! To top it off Mr. JB's cousin didn't even apologize to me. His wife said something to Mr. JB, but even when I sat across from her eating my pathetic hot dog she didn't say a thing.

I've had an issue with Mr. JB's cousins before, especially his wife. She's the type of woman that would look every person up and down with the intent of critiquing every part of their outfit. We really don't have much in common, but I know when they are invited to my house they can eat the meal that is being served. 

Their ridiculous excuse was that they weren't sure that we were coming -- pretty ridiculous since Mr. JB had called his cousin that we would be showing up after the regatta. He also called his cousin's younger brother earlier in the day to tell him the same thing. 

I totally believe that they have some strange issue with me, or perhaps us. I've missed a couple of parties at their house because everyone has babies and I just couldn't handle it. Mr. JB explained the situation to them and they seemed sympathetic. I am so livid that I want to cancel the cheque that we gave their son for his baptism! Don't worry, I won't do that.

Mr. JB called his younger cousin (who is also his best friend) to tell him how upset I am. It's the best way to deal with it, according to him.

Honestly, the next time I go over there I'm going to have to bring my own food!

Am I crazy? Is his cousin being totally insensitive? Is it the L.upron talking? 

Oh yeah, I also hurt my back yesterday. 

It really doesn't get any better, does it?

14 comments:

  1. Wow, what a busy weekend!!

    I really do think you have a valid reason for being upset. If your food allergy is fatal, that's a big deal!!

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with such insensitive people.

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  2. I'm sorry you are having family frustrations right now. I can't believe that they would be so insensitive about your food allergies (and yes that's what they were doing in intentional making something they know you are deathly allergic to). I got very frustrated with my MIL when she didn't ask the restaurant for our rehearsal dinner to leave strawberries of desserts and the veggie/fruit/cheese platter since my husband is deathly allergic. You are not crazy and if you do go crazy then they drove you to it. I hope that you don't have any more family frustration soon.

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  3. No, you're NOT crazy! I don't know what it is about people who seem to want to test the food allergies but I have two of them in my life. One of them threw a party for me. She asked me for all of my allergies and then proceeded to have mostly stuff I couldn't eat! One of the other guests near tore into her about it when she found out that I couldn't eat most of what was there at my own party.

    The no jeans thing is crazy too. I don't think you being upset has anything to do with the meds. You have every right to be upset. But, I get the sense from the way you describe this woman that this has nothing to do with you. Just from your description it sounds like there's a part of her life that she feels completely out of control over so she's compensating by controlling every part that she can. Actually the two people in my life who I perceive to "test" my food allergies are very controlling because they lack control in one or more areas of their lives too so maybe this has nothing to do with me either. Wow, what an eye opener for me! Okay, I'm going to pray for these three controlling people. Of course, I'm praying for you too! Sorry for the book! ;o)

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  4. I would love it if to the next family get together at their house you bring your own dinner and make sure you explain to them loudly (in front of others) that you just wanted to make sure there was something more for you to eat than a bunless hot dog.

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  5. I can't believe people are that insensitive to health issues. Whenever my DH and I have anyone over for anything that will involve food preparation, we ALWAYS ask if there are allergies/dislikes and make sure to avoid wherever possible those foods. And if it's not possible to completely avoid them, we always make sure that the guest can eat and enjoy. We do this regularly for some vegetarian friends. As for the jeans issue and Mr JBs aunt. I went through that similarly with my mother in the sense that whenever we were going out, or attending something that involved other people (but wasn't fancy), she always felt the need to say "didn't you have a skirt?" when I showed up in pants, or jeans. I finally reminded her that I was an adult and was capable of dressing appropriately for various functions, and that times did allow for jean and casual wear. What would happen if Mr. JB showed up at his aunt's house in jeans?

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  6. satto: i think i'll bring mcdonald's or something ridiculous like that!!!

    pam: she makes a snarky comment, but mr. jb is used to it. he wore shorts and a golf shirt just to spite her. he's almost 40 and he can't wear what he wants! that's nuts!

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  7. That is some kind of treatment! I would be mortified if I were the host and my poor guest had nothing but a hotdog to eat. I would probably rush and make them a couple other options to choose from. I usually ask if we're having someone new over, if they have any allergies. That's the normal human way to act anyway. What a woman...geez. And don't get me started on the no jeans thing. Will she not open the door if he's in jeans? Ridiculous. This is supposed to be family, right? What a wacko.

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  8. i've been around for SIX years!!! you'd think they would make some sort of effort!

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  9. Ummm, you aren't crazy. Not taking into consideration fatal food allergies is horrible! It is rude and inconsiderate.

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  10. Yeah, you're not crazy. No jeans lady needs therapy, and the cousins who are trying to kill you are totally unacceptable. If I have a *lot* of company, I might not be able to conform to everyone's diet (though I'll try if I know), but there's a difference between people who eat only organic and an actual life-threatening allergy. (And who puts eggs in hamburgers anyway?) I think you MUST bring your own food next time - and something everyone else will want, so the other guests inquire, and you can demurely state your allergy, and they can be appalled at your cousins. Shame seems like it would work on this gal. (I know, passive-aggressive much?)

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  11. you so not crazy, sounds like she is not very thoughtful at all (like c'mon!). BUT wow look at the strength of you - you rock - knocked up women and babies! WOW -= much stronger then me (and whenever school is over - I am soo ready for that afternoon!).

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  12. Yeah, a fatal food allergy is the kind of thing that needs to honored, or at least acknowledged as legit. It sounds like you're dealing with a house full of control freaks who should be avoided for all but the most pressing family engagements. They aren't welcoming you, so why bend over backwards to feel good about them?

    Life's too short to spend time with uncaring people you don't enjoy, even if they are in-laws.

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  13. WOW! You are not crazy, but your extended family seems to be! Sorry that you have to deal with all of that. I wouldn't be able to handle it!

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  14. I think they are being insensitive especially since they know about your allergy and how fatal it can be. Whenever I invite people over I always ask if there is anything that they do not eat and if there is an allergy.

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