21 March 2009

Lazy girl JellyBelly

First off, I'd like to apologize for not updating all of you as promised. I'm going to blame it on a bit of vacation brain as well as just sheer laziness. I've complained a lot this school year about being so tired and drained. I'm so glad that, although we did get away for a few days, I took every opportunity to sleep and rest. I'm also going to blame my lack of posting sooner on having to take time to digest all that I learned from my pre-op appointment on Wednesday.

So here goes:

I visited with Dr. I who will be doing my surgery first. I really don't know why I had to go see him since all he did was ask me if I had any questions (I didn't) and then his secretary gave me an envelope full of paperwork I had to take to the hospital across the street. I shouldn't begrudge his thoroughness, I know. Then again, perhaps he doesn't always have a well-informed customer who has a network of friends (in real life as well as in the bloggosphere) that have shared their experiences. The doctor did mention that I was lucky because some of his surgery dates were changed, but mine wasn't affected. Thank God! I don't know what I would've done if I my surgery date was moved!

Armed with my envelope of paperwork we were sent to the hospital across the street. St. Michael's Hospital is a renowned teaching hospital and is right around the corner from the cathedral bearing the same name. I was sent to the pre-admit section of the hospital where the intake staff took my health card and took all of my information. Then a nurse took us into another section where we had to watch a video about the day of my surgery. The nurse that was taking care of me was in the video too!

It was pretty cheesy, but it went over all the particulars (i.e. don't wear makeup or jewellry, leave your valuables at home, make sure someone is there to pick you up because you won't be able to drive, etc.). Then she took down all of the medications that I take (I also had to bring them with me) and she told me what I could and could not take before my surgery. I have to stop all of the supplements that my naturopath has put me on, but I can continue with the folic acid and B12 as well as my prescribed meds. Then she gave me some literature to read about laparoscopic surgery, anesthesia as well as the hysteroscopy procedure (I didn't realize that I was having this done, but it makes sense that the doctor would). Then a technician came in to take blood and then a doctor came in to review all of the notes that the nurse took.

The entire visit took less than an hour which was a relief because Dr. I's secretary said it would take almost two! The only thing that I'm disappointed about is that I won't know the time of my surgery until the day before. I have to call a number at the hospital the day before to find out. Oh well, I'm sure that the powers that be at the hospital know best, right?

I was doing really well up until leaving the hospital. We went to the Eaton Centre to have lunch and walk around and suddenly it hit me. I've known for months now that I was going to have surgery, but the reality just seemed so heavy. In the food court I was overcome with fear. Now, I'm pretty accustomed to doctors and hospitals, but I've never been scared like that before. I didn't have any particular fears. I don't think that I'm going to die on the table or have an allergic reaction to the anesthesia or anything, but I just felt dread. As we walked through the mall I felt like I was in a haze.

We had dinner at a friends' house that night and although I put on a happy face the thought of my surgery wasn't far from my thoughts. I was relieved though. I was convinced that my girlfriend was going to announce that they were expecting (she didn't have anything to drink at my birthday party in January), but she didn't. She did have a tiny sip of some fancy tequila that her husband had, but that was it. I don't know why I was obsessing about her being pregnant, but I have to prepare myself every time we visit friends of childbearing age! Btw, the tequila was really good!

Thursday night Mr. JB and I headed to Buffalo to see one of my favourite singers, Morrissey. It was a pretty big sacrifice for my hubby to go with me since our musical tastes couldn't be more different. We did have dinner at the Anchor Bar (where Buffalo chicken wings were invented!) as a treat for him. As a child of the 80's I had a fabulous time, I just wish that we didn't have to drive so far to see him!

We stayed with my father-in-law Thursday night since we didn't want to drive all the way home after the show and he shared some interesting information with Mr. JB while I was still asleep. Apparently my hubby's mom also suffered from endo. She missed her entire last year of high school because she had surgery to remove endo and she had at least three other surgeries. I knew that she had various gynecological issues and that she had an ectopic pregnancy between my hubby and his brother. My FIL mentioned that she had endo removed before she got pregnant with my BIL and that it was because of the surgery that she got pregnant.

I don't think I've ever written about all of the strange thing that my mother-in-law and I have in common. She passed away on my 14th birthday and I don't think that is a co-incidence. She had issues with ovarian cysts and now I know that she had endo too! I also don't think that it's a coincidence that after years of applying to jobs that I'm teaching at a school that shares her name. The first time my hubby took me to her grave I promised her that I would name our first child after her, although I insisted to my hubby that I had other names in mind.

My MIL was a great lady, everyone tells me so. Although my FIL has had a crazy girlfriend for years, he still talks like my MIL is in the other room. My hubby and his brother only have wonderful things to say about their mom as well. I can't help but think that she sending me some sort of sign that things are going to be okay after my surgery.

I can't wait to finally have answers to all of my IF questions. It seems like all signs point to endo being the cause. I've also had bizarre brown spotting for the past few days (two days before my peak day and the day that I ovulated). I've also been feeling quite a bit of pain which I'm blaming completely on the C.lomid.


p.s. Please say a prayer for my dad. He's been on jury duty for the past few weeks and he's been away from home since Thursday. My mom is pretty worried. I hope that they finally come up with a decision so the poor guy can go home!

p.p.s. Along with Jeremiah 29:11 we're crazy basketball fans at our house. My boys from Duke play again tonight. Go Blue Devils!!!!


  1. I am not the least bit surprised the fear hit after the consults and everything.

    This surgery holds so much. It could well give you all the answers you are looking for. The fear is totally understandable, especially when you don't know if you will get good news or bad.

    But I think this surgery holds hope. For so many things.

  2. Nice downward dog in the pic.

    i get why you would be freaked about the surgery, it's a lot to take in, and there is so much hope that it will provide you with the quality of life and family that you want.
    IT will happen soon! Great that it wasn't cancelled, lots of OR down time as the result of budget cuts.

  3. I'm glad that you're taking are of yourself with extra sleep and rest this vacation.

    I definitely understand that dread feeling.

    It amazes me that your MIL had endo removed while in high school. After 26.5 years of pain - I had to fly across the country to get someone to agree to even schedule the surgery.

    I will pray for your dad.

  4. I can understand that dread! I never knew what it was like to even be put under before. It was wierd.

    I CAN NOT wait for you to feel what I feel now. I can't wait for a day or so after your surgery for you to be in so much pain, but feel what it is like to be unbound. It is amazing! My gosh, I will never forget that moment when I was laid up in bed telling my dr. that I could run for miles I felt so free!

    You are going to get a period pain free, you might be a hormonal monster, but you will be pain free! :)

    I just can't wait for you to have your surgery and get this show on the road! That is wild about your MIL! Very cool! Very hopeful!

  5. I had that same fear as well, so many unanswered questions! The recovery wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. Having ginger ale at home as well as a heating pad was very helpful.

    I think all these reproductive issues are more common that people think.

    Glad you had a great trip and had fun at the concert!

  6. The sheer reality of finally undergoing surgery can hit you, like a big pie in the face. But seriously, don't worry. You're going to be fine.

    It's great that they are doing a lap and a hysteroscopy at the same time. Then you'll know for sure that all's well in the womb, and you'll get clarity about any possible endo. As I've told you a gazillion times before, after I had that same double-header, all spotting stopped. Cold. I'm wishing and praying the same thing happens to you.