I never thought that I would do it, but here I am.
I've always kept a diary and since I started university in 1994 I've been a BIG fan of the internet. Why not pair the two?
My husband and I are entering our second year of trying to have a baby. I've gone through every emotion possible -- despair, hopefulness, utter sadness, hopelessness. I've gone through periods where I've convinced myself that I didn't really want a baby. I've filled my days with commitments and plans so I'm too tired to think about having a baby.
2008 is going to be different.
I may not be able to start a conversation with, "Hi, I'm JellyBelly and I can't seem to have a baby." or even tell my parents or my in-laws about our struggle, but apparently I can post my thoughts for any stranger to read.
Who knows what I will discover. I just hope that my story doesn't end sadly.
I guess I'm feeling hopeful today.