7 January 2008

So here I go....

I never thought that I would do it, but here I am.  

I've always kept a diary and since I started university in 1994 I've been a BIG fan of the internet.  Why not pair the two? 

My husband and I are entering our second year of trying to have a baby. I've gone through every emotion possible -- despair, hopefulness, utter sadness, hopelessness.  I've gone through periods where I've convinced myself that I didn't really want a baby.  I've filled my days with commitments and plans so I'm too tired to think about having a baby.

2008 is going to be different.

I may not be able to start a conversation with, "Hi, I'm JellyBelly and I can't seem to have a baby." or even tell my parents or my in-laws about our struggle, but apparently I can post my thoughts for any stranger to read. 

Who knows what I will discover.  I just hope that my story doesn't end sadly. 

I guess I'm feeling hopeful today. 


  1. Hi jel,

    I liked the idea of your blog. I think I will have one for myself. I really need to say something and I really need someone to read it no matter if they are stranger.
    I myself suffer from sterility and can't have babies because I don't produce sperm due to my Low Testosterone.
    anyway, you are lucky because you have someone by yourside to struggle togther. never give up and try all kinds of treatement clinical and alternative. I wish you all the luck in this world.

    Hassan from Morocco.

  2. thanks for your comment. it definitely feels good to be able to vent about how i'm feeling. AND it's cheaper than getting a therapist!

    thank you for your good wishes, we need as many as we can get! :)