11 December 2011

Take me back to the start...


Praise Jesus!

Yesterday morning when AF finally arrived after her long, unpregnant hiatus, she returned in all her glory. I can already tell that things are different, and in a good way. I am again thankful for pain medicine -- I was warned by many that the first couple of cycles were going to be rough.

I was absolutely joyful and then it hit me.

We're back on the TTC train.

Break over.

No excuses.

One would think that after six years and finally having a real shot at making a baby JellyBelly that I would be overjoyed, but I'm feeling more than a little scared. Heck, I'm petrified.

The "what ifs" have been running through my head, and most of them negative. Oh Advent Prayer Buddy, I'm offering so much up for you!

So as I was driving the feel-me-sorry train this song popped into my head. I'm going to try to erase the past six years of disappointment by distraction. Thank you to Ch.ris Mar.tin and the boys.


  1. Oh, JB! So glad things finally kicked off. Praying for peace for you and one ginormous BFP this month for you!

  2. This is TOO FRIGGIN WEIRD! I've been playing this song over and over on my computer because I'm working on arranging a mash-up of it and Adele's Someone Like You for my a cappella group!! I finally remembered a few weeks ago that I adored this song, when trying to think of a good one to go along with SLY (it's perfect).
    We are definitely soul mates!!

  3. So glad things have started for you...and many prayers that the journey is a short sweet one from this point forward!

  4. I am excited and hopeful for you. Praying that BFP comes soon!

  5. Praying for you and a wonderful end to wait asap!!!

  6. Yeah! I know how you feel being scared. It's scary for me to think what if there are no more suggestions from Dr. H? What if we reach that point where he says, sorry, guys, I've done everything I know how to do. Praying for you, and me, that all that worry just goes away and that we be filled with joy and hope.

  7. How very exciting that AF is here...a fresh start!! I am so hopeful for you and praying oh so hard for yoU!!!!

  8. I remember being petrified after surgery...completely normal for sure. I am glad AF finally showed up. Now let the fun begin! Praying!

  9. Hooray for your cycle returning!

    Trust me....I understand your emotions. I am in the middle of cycle #3 since my laparotomy...and I cannot help but feel the anxiety and sadness sneaking in AGAIN.

    Why can't this be easy? We will know the answer to that someday, God-willing.

  10. I understand that feeling of the pressure being back on. I was none too lighthearted after my surgery either. I hope you have better luck with that than I did :). And find a way to have fun with it, like they're always telling us...

    Also - TCIE is in an a capella group as well? When does she SLEEP?!

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  12. Misfit,

    I've heard TCIE practice. She's totally amazing -- aside from being a Napro superstar, she can sing!!!

    And if there was a way to donate sleep to this poor girl, I would. I'm sleeping enough for a small village.

  13. Yah!!! I agree with Misfit, have some fun on that TTC train ride!

    It seems so different from my experieince, we really were told to wait for a few good cycles to get everything good before Dr. H told us to really try ;) So I am thinking you must be much healthier than I was at the time!

    Praying for your hearts desire to be fulfilled, many times over!!

  14. I am so hopeful for you! You are so healthy and fit already that I pray that your body kicks into gear and produces a baby JB in short order. It is scary when you think of the reality of it all, but you'll be in my prayers - so you have nothing to fear!

  15. So glad it finally showed up. Hopefully you won't be too much pain for much longer.

  16. Not often said - but glad AF is here for you! :)

  17. Oh, I remember that so well...that feeling of putting SO much hope in the surgery and then having to face the question--what if it doesn't work? It is so strange that surgery "relaxes" us like that, but it does.

    But putting your faith in surgery is not a bad thing, nor is hoping. Surgery is SO healing. You are probably healthier now than you have ever been!!! Not only is that a gift in and of itself, but it probably means you have the BEST ttc odds possible! For me, I was always glad I would be able to walk away knowing I had done everything I could possibly have done. Whatever the outcome now, you won't have to look back and wonder, "What would've happened if I'd had that surgery?"

    Over the next six months or so you will REALLY start to notice those additional health benefits. JB, you are about to get your life back, and I could not be more excited for you!!!!!