7 December 2011

A Knife Through My Infertile Heart

Oh Face.book.

You've been so good to me during my recovery, but not this morning.

A friend that got married two months after us had their second child this morning.

[sigh]

I wish that I wasn't so jealous, but I am.

I wish that I could be cuddling on my couch with my baby, but I'm not.

What sucks is that I woke up feeling so good. I took Ad.vil last night at 8pm and I took my next dose at 10am.

And now I'm deflated.

I am definitely going to treat myself to a St.arbucks treat after I get my eyebrows threaded (yes, this is what I've chosen as my first solo trip, I LOVE getting hair removed from my face). I'd much rather have a glass of wine, but not just yet....

27 comments:

  1. :( I'm really sorry! Sending prayers!!!!!

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  2. yeah, i hear you! i have a very hard time hearing pregnancy news and that is what it is.

    Good for you to step out and get your eyebrows done and pick up a starbucks...at least the way starbucks is decorated for the festive holiday helps lift the spirits up a bit! Hugs

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  3. :(
    I'm so sorry.
    It's so hard not to compare and see where others are and where we are not.
    Please know I am praying for you and still hoping beyond hope that good things are coming your way.
    Ugh, I wish I had more to say but I know that some days/announcements are just harder than others.

    Ps-I love getting my eyebrows threaded! So much better then waxing! If we lived closer we'd make a girls day out of it! Enjoy your say, relax and cling to that hope pretty lady

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  4. I am so sorry. There have been so many announcements lately. And there is a unique pain to the announcements of those who got married so close to our wedding dates, I think! Enjoy your day out... it sounds like lots of fun!

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  5. Oh stupid stupid Facebook how often you crush us, it truly is a love-hate relationship. Prayers for you, that you find that so good feeling from this morning again soon.

    And - Eyebrows threaded? I've never heard of such a thing...is it better than waxing?!?! Do tell...(yes, I live under a rock...I like it here)

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  6. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Wish I could take it away. But I can't. I can suggest, when you go to your Advent reconciliation night at your parish, or if you just go on any particular day, talk to your priest about this pain and these feelings (which I happen to think the jealousy is a natural reaction but it is how you deal with it that counts.) This happened to me many, many years ago. I remember one particular Advent reconciliation night and I just poured my heart (and tears) out face to face. The kind, gentle priest was so sweet and his demeanor is exactly what I needed. I truly felt as though I could clearly hear God talking directly to me through him. I came out of there feeling the peace that I had been desiring. Not sure if this helps,but it is definitely worth a try. Peace and prayers!

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  7. FB sucks. Except that I get to talk to you all day long. That part is awesome. :)

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  8. I always dread seeing my friends with their newest child birth announcements on FB.

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  9. Oh, I'm so sorry. FB is SO cruel sometimes. Especially with their second announcement. Prayers are going your way. I totally understand the jealousy part ... the downside of being human.
    I agree that it is mandatory that you treat yourself! I also enjoy having hair removed from my face. :-)

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  10. Oh I hate that! I'm so sorry...enjoy your Starbucks!

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  11. Oh I'm sorry!! Enjoy your Starbucks!!

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  12. Ugh. Like others said, I have a love/hate relationship with FB. All you do is sign-in and WHAM - top story is an ultrasound or something. Been there, done that, sending you HUGS!!

    Enjoy your Starbucks and getting your eyebrows done!

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  13. I hate fb. There ought to be an app where you can block pregnancy and birth announcements. Starbucks and threading sound awesome. Have fun!

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  14. I am so sorry, I feel myself get jealous too, even when it's people I love and adore. I wish it didnt have to be so hard. What is your favorite Starbucks drink? I love the Peppermint Mocha!

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  15. Ugh. I gave up FB over a year ago, I think. I'm sorry it brought you pain today.

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  16. Ugh. Sometimes Facebook is NOT worth it. I'm so sorry! :(

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  17. Yes Facebook is painful sometimes, very painful. The pregnancy posts hurt but what also drives me crazy is the moms complaining endlessly about their child(ren). I would give anything to comfort a crying child all day.....I hope you enjoyed your day and I bet those eyebrows are looking fantastic :)

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  18. I'm right there with ya, sister. Been resisting the urge to post about it because then I'll have no friends left... except you ;)

    :(

    Advent SUCKS!

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  19. BTW, I'm also joining you today as one of my best friends made her second PG annoucement ... and says she is pregnant with twins.
    Your knife through the heart statement is SPOT ON! I would love to bypass all these announcements ... or have a numbing cream that can be applied. Something. You'd think the pharmaceutical industry would be interested in manufacturing a product like that. So many uses!

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  20. Hate facebook. Hate hate hate it and never joining.

    Sending prayers.

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  21. It just never gets easier. You would think it would but it seems to get harder. Praying for a good cycle for you.

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  22. I'm sorry :( I know that feeling. Eyebrows and starbucks sound awesome though ;)

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  23. Ohh dear! I understand how you feel! That pain that cuts the heart into pieces. I send you a powerful hug and pray for you because I am sure Our Mercyful God is going to hear you. Even if you think for moments that he does´t hear at all.

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  24. I'm sorry, JB. Ugh Facebook. Sometimes it's seriously a love/hate relationship. I just experienced the same thing today too (birth announcement) and right under that post was a picture of a newlywed friend holding a newborn. The caption indicated my friend is pregnant, which is news to me. The worst part is she didn't post the picture herself or write the caption. Her friend, mother of the newborn, did. I need to find some chocolate... ;)

    Hugs!

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