23 March 2010

Facing My Fear

Miracles of miracles, my fertile best friend called me.

Something that almost never happens, at least since she has starting populating the planet with her ridiculously adorable babies.

Anyhow, she phoned me tonight and we chatted about our trip and a little about the new baby.

We also made a date for me to drop by on Saturday afternoon.

So there.

I'm going to be at a conference Friday and Saturday morning and I'm getting out of attending a birthday party at Mr. JB's cousin's place (yes, the cousin that fed me burnt hot dogs -- and no, I don't think that I will ever let that go!). My excuse is that I'm going to be too tired after being at the conference all morning. There will be pg bellies at the party as well (also there will be NOTHING for me to eat!!!).

I did tell my bff that going to her house is not work, which it isn't. Once I get over the horrible jealousy, I'm sure that I will be okay. I think that it was Sew that said that I have to "fake it til I make it." And that's what I have to do.

This baby is going to be a part of my life, I can't deny it.

And I also know that I will love him as much as I love his sister and brother.

I wonder if she'll notice when I sneak one of the older kids into my purse. The middle one is really cute!


  1. faking it till you make it is pretty much how I make it through any awkward baby situation, awkward showers- both the bridal and baby varieties and the first 3 years of being an SLP after grad school!

  2. I have heard that new moms are really sleep-deprived so I am sure she wouldn't mind you babysitting the middle one indefinitely! :) Okay, that is really awful to joke about. Sorry. Good luck! We'll be rooting for you!

  3. I know that the Lord will give you the grace you need!!

    There were many times I entertained the thought of being a baby stealer...

  4. faking it is the best advice! And it does work, I decided to start doing this almost 2 years ago when I was just tired of feeling so sad all the time, and after 6 months I was showing big signs of feeling better, and it continued to get easier and easier.
    you're strong, you can do it.

  5. Good for you. I know it will be hard, but do your best and God will provide for you.

  6. Good luck! Fake it until you make sounds like a good idea.

  7. what always helped me was not focusing on ME and what I didnt' have. I tried to focus on THEM, and miracle of life ...

    I won't say I've never cried in my car afterward......... :)

  8. Awww.... this sounds really hard!! Just be a good friend and fake it until you feel it. And enjoy snuggling with her kiddos when you can! And if you have to cry when you leave let it out...

  9. Fake it as much as you can. When one of my best friends had her baby, it made it easier for me to tell her it was hard for me to see him. And she understood and that helped things so much.

  10. You're doing the right thing. I hope the experience is positive. You have the strength to carry you through.