I'm still in a state of shock girls.
I felt like I was walking around in a fog all day. It may have to do with being exhausted, but I'm just wiped out emotionally.
As Mr. JB just said to me, I am taking my neighbour's death really hard. Harder than I normally would.
I think that the cross of infertility is weighing heavily on me and on top of all of the illness that is surrounding our family, a death was the straw that broke the camel's back.
After school instead of going to yoga I went home and made soup for my neighbours. I know that big part of needing to cook was having a sense of feeling useful. I know that our support means a lot to V and A, and I know that J would appreciate it as well. When I got home I opened up the garage door and saw J's wheelchair sitting there. It was difficult for me to put the garbage can and recycling boxes back in there just knowing that the chair was there. I'm so glad that J's brother thought to give it us for the meantime because I know that seeing J's chair would make V and A quite upset.
My biggest hurdle right now is that I have to figure out how to get my class covered to attend the funeral mass. V asked us both if we could go and I don't want to let her down. She doesn't have any family here in Canada and she has a difficult relationship with J's family.
The only productive thing that I did today was RSVP for the adoption seminar on February 22nd. I really hope that they don't try to scare us away since that was the feeling that I got from the intake worker.
Please continue to pray for our neighbours. Visitation will be tomorrow and Thursday and the funeral mass is going to be on Friday. I really don't think that it's hit A yet. We had dinner with them and some other neighbours and A was flitting about trying to finish a slide show for the funeral home.
I miss my crazy parents and they're only on vacation. I can't even imagine losing my father at 13. I'm 35 and I can't even bear the thought of my parents getting older and sick. I have to remind myself that I have to appreciate my crazy parents, regardless of how much they frustrate me.
I just wish that life lessons weren't so hard to digest.