So Mr. JB and I are taking off for a few days. Our basement is officially finished. We wrote them a cheque and said our goodbyes and we're cleared to start putting stuff back in. And although it stresses me out to leave my house an unorganized mess, we need to get away.
My best friend is on holiday at her parents' cottage and we're taking her up on her offer to join her. The cottage is on an island and it's a great place to stay. There's no cable, no neighbours and most of all the company is great. I haven't fully de-toxed from school mode and we need a break from our house. Mr. JB's theory is that we'll recharge and then we'll be completely ready to complete the move into the new basement as well as the re-organization of our house.
My head has been really jumbled since school finished. I have so much more time to think now that I don't have 20 6 year olds in my face. I definitely think that I'm depressed and I have the L.upron to blame. Since I went through clinical depression while I was in university the feelings are very familiar. I can't wait until my surgery and I can't wait to get this drug out of my system. I'm certain that it is helping the endo shrink, but the other effects on my psyche are very worrisome.
I try to remind myself that it's the drug and that it's temporary. I hate feeling down and I'm trying my best to keep my head above water, but it's hard.
I miss feeling like myself. I miss feeling light.
But I definitely don't miss the incredible pain that my periods brought.
I don't know if the island has internet (it did last summer, but I don't know if they got rid of it). I'm bringing our laptop just in case.
I really hope that the clean northern Ontario air will help clear out the cobwebs in my brain.