26 July 2009


I absolutely love Sundays. Even Sundays where Mr. JB and I have to usher at church -- it's the one job that we've volunteered that I really don't like. The back of the church is way too loud and I always feel a bit strange when I have to take the collection.

But I digress.

I used to take a very difficult yoga class on Sunday afternoons, but I had to stop earlier this year because of a persistent injury I have in my left leg. I didn't feel too badly though because my favourite teacher started teaching a class on Monday nights that was still challenging, but not injury-inducing.

The past couple of weeks I haven't been feeling 100% so I decided to take the meditation class that my studio offers. I used to be the worst meditator in the world! I couldn't quiet my mind enough to relax, but finally after 10 years of practicing yoga, I can finally sit for half an hour in peace.

So during class today I decided that it was a good time to have a chat with God. I try really hard to have a clear head while meditating, but I was having a hard time shutting down this afternoon. I was telling Him that I was tired, so very tired, of all of this IF business. In between my silent rant I interspersed some "Hail Marys" to help me refocus and just before the half hour of silent meditation was over a very loud clap of thunder erupted over the yoga studio.

I didn't really think much of it. We had a very rainy day (among many, many rainy days in the past month) and at mass this morning a very loud crash of thunder happened right after the final blessing. It was perfectly timed for when the congregation says, "Thanks be to God." Our parish priest had a good laugh about it in the vestibule afterwards. It was like God was punctuating the mass with a very loud period!

So this evening on my way home after class I looked up at the sky to see a beautiful rainbow. When I was having my talk to God I asked him for a sign, for anything, to show me if things are going to be okay. I don't usually bargain with God that way, but as I told Him this afternoon, I'm at the end of my wits. I know that my mental state has been effected by the L.upron, but come on folks, it's been FOUR years.

Four long, long years.

I've decided that the rainbow is a sign. I have to be hopeful that my surgery will be successful. I have to continue praying that we will be parents. I have to be positive.

Perhaps something good has come of all this crazy rain that we've been having. What do you think?


  1. Keep believing. It can happen.

    I hope your pot of gold will be soon within your reach.

  2. I totally think a rainbow is a sign. I saw one recently, as well... and hadn't seen one before that for many years. They are rare for a reason, imo :) It's a clear sign that God is watching over you.

    You make me feel like such a slacker with my yoga. I really need to get my butt in gear and start doing it every day.

  3. Yes, I also think rainbows are a glorious sign. Here were my twin rainbows:


  4. You will be a parent. You will. But not knowing how and when is so hard!

    Before I got my first positive, I saw a deer with a faun and knew it meant something. Then, when I was all torn up over my ectopic last year, I saw another deer with a faun. Deer are common here, but I haven't seen a mother and faun since. So yes, we do get signs sometimes, and I think we recognize them.

    On a completely random note, yesterday we had a bat in church, flying around high in the rafters. Pretty cool.

  5. i am inspired by your new found hope and today I contacted our fertility clinic... it is time for me to stop being so scared and figure out what is going on...

    you will be a parent! i just hope the time in between is filled with signs of continued hope to keep your positive energy up and moving you forward. :-)


  6. Sometimes the hardest thing about signs is being able to recognize them. Congrats on seeing your rainbow; may it bring you some peace as you gear up for your surgery.

    Have you had a lap before? I've had two, so if you want any personal experiences, please do not hesitate to ask.

  7. Wow. What a beautiful sign God chose to give you.

    Your "pot of gold" is at the end of that rainbow, and I am believing and praying it is YOUR baby conceived after surgery.

  8. The rainbow is a beautiful sign. I'll be praying that your surgery will be successful and you'll be parents soon afterward.

  9. I adore rainbows and always find them incredibly uplifting!! I would say it was a sign of many good things to come.

    As always, I'm thinking of you.