Dear 2009...

Dear 2009,

Hi, it's me JellyBelly. I realize that you're not very old and I really shouldn't project the anger and frustration that I have towards 2008 on you, but I just wanted to set the record straight. Bear with me, please.

2008 was the year of the test pattern. Although I'm very grateful for my new NaproTechnology doctor, I spent most of last year twiddling my thumbs and waiting. I learned how to chart my cycles, I had daily visits with the dildocam, had blood taken, injected myself (despite my crazy fear of needles), took drugs and had a few meltdowns. I've done all these things to get yet another diagnosis that has me waiting again.

Argh.

So 2009, I see the doctor that will be doing my surgery on the 22nd. Is there any way that you can ensure that I get my lap done ASAP? You see, I turn 34 at the end of the month and my eggies aren't getting any younger. I realize that I'm not the only woman waiting for surgery and I'm certain that there are other, more pressing, medical matters that affect other people, but can I please get a break?

2009, I've spend over three and a half years getting to the bottom of why I can't seem to make a baby. Three and a half years is a LONG time. I know that Mr. JellyBelly and I are in a much better position to be parents: we're basically debt-free (aside from our mortgage and the loan for our house renovations) and our relationship is solid. I'm also really happy with my job and my new school. Really 2009, I'm in a great place right now. The only thing missing is a baby JellyBelly.

I don't know how much more waiting and disappointment that I can take before completely losing my mind. If I can't have a baby ASAP, could we at least find out if I can actually make a baby? I'd really like a definite yay or nay so we can proceed with the adoption process. Honestly, after three and a half years I really just want a baby.

In the meantime 2009, I really hope that you're much more understanding and generous than 2008.

Oh yeah, could you also speed up the JellyBelly bangs regrow project? This in between stage isn't fun and the headbands are really getting old!

One last thing: can you also be nicer to all my infertile bloggy friends? So many of them need a break too. I'd really like the whole lot of us to cross over to the "other side" and so we can all blog about how cute our babies are!

Am I asking too much?

So that's it for now 2009. Please be kind.

Love always,
JellyBelly