24 May 2011

Paralysis

I've been sitting on the couch in a relative stupor for hours.

I thought that going to a Restorative yoga class this afternoon would help clear my head, but I'm just done.

I have my PPVI paperwork to fill out. I have math tests to mark. I have a messy kitchen.

And most of all I'm sad.

I know that Auntie Fran lived a long and happy life. She survived the sudden death of her first husband in a tragic train accident when she was pregnant with her third child. She was a single mom when it wasn't common. She finished her degree at night school and taught Family Studies, all with young children at home. She went on to marry her second husband who she also survived.

I couldn't imagine outliving TWO husbands!

She was a happy grandmother who loved to garden and cook for her family. I will never forget the first squishy hug that she gave me at my very first family reunion, or the happiness on her face when we saw her after mass on Sunday morning.

Auntie Fran would be so upset with us if she knew how many tears we have shed today.

It seems like 2011 is a year of loss for the JellyBelly household.

And yes, AF arrived today. I prayed for a miracle, but alas my many novenas and supplications didn't work.

I'm so tired of being sad. So, so tired.

Thank you all for all of your prayers and support. I need to find something low GI that will work as good as chocolate and wine does. I think that I'm in for quite a search.

18 comments:

  1. Praying for you and your family!

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  2. You deserve deliverance from your sadness. I wish I could bring it about.

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  3. So sorry JB. Praying for you and your family.

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  4. I'm so sorry For your loss and for the sadnes. I hope your feeling better soon. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, xoxoxoxo

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  5. JB, I am so sorry. :( Prayers for you and your family.

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  6. You and your family are in my prayers. Lots of hugs.

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  7. Praying for you and your family!

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  8. Your Aunt sounded like an amazing woman. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  9. Your Aunt sounded like an amazing woman. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  10. I don't think death is easy no matter how old a person was. When my Opa died at 102 it still felt too soon. :(

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  11. I am so sorry for you losses! Praying for you!

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  13. My heart breaks for you-I wish that there was something I could do to help make things better...

    All I can do is pray for you, and that's exactly what I'll do!!

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  14. I just found your blog through another, and read through some recent posts. We, too, got evaluated by Dr. Hilgers and received pretty much the same recommendations that you did. We traveled to Omaha for surgery twice. I am now on a new diet (BEST THING EVER!) to keep the endo at bay, and I feel better than I ever have. No pregnancy yet (we are 9 months post surgery), but the changes in how I feel make me think it was worth it anyway. We have one daughter, adopted, and hope to adopt again. She's biracial and I can't imagine life without her. This whole infertility thing has really changed the way I view the world and our place in it, and God's hand in it all.

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  15. So very sorry. Will be praying for all of you.

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  16. Aw, sorry JB. Praying for you.

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