Paralysis

I've been sitting on the couch in a relative stupor for hours.

I thought that going to a Restorative yoga class this afternoon would help clear my head, but I'm just done.

I have my PPVI paperwork to fill out. I have math tests to mark. I have a messy kitchen.

And most of all I'm sad.

I know that Auntie Fran lived a long and happy life. She survived the sudden death of her first husband in a tragic train accident when she was pregnant with her third child. She was a single mom when it wasn't common. She finished her degree at night school and taught Family Studies, all with young children at home. She went on to marry her second husband who she also survived.

I couldn't imagine outliving TWO husbands!

She was a happy grandmother who loved to garden and cook for her family. I will never forget the first squishy hug that she gave me at my very first family reunion, or the happiness on her face when we saw her after mass on Sunday morning.

Auntie Fran would be so upset with us if she knew how many tears we have shed today.

It seems like 2011 is a year of loss for the JellyBelly household.

And yes, AF arrived today. I prayed for a miracle, but alas my many novenas and supplications didn't work.

I'm so tired of being sad. So, so tired.

Thank you all for all of your prayers and support. I need to find something low GI that will work as good as chocolate and wine does. I think that I'm in for quite a search.