I smiled through dinner and I didn't cry until I got home.
Yesterday was a horrible, horrible day.
Mr JB thinks that the Lord is mocking us. He also said that if this continues that he's considering not going to church, but he relented when I got even more upset.
I usually count on my husband to be the stable one.
I am so sad. I feel spent. It also doesn't help that it's Mother's Day this weekend. And have I mentioned that Mr JB is the godfather for his cousin's baby who is being baptized on Sunday? Yes, the baby that precipitated the scandalous wedding.
I am feeling so abandoned. So forgotten.
How much longer do I have to wait? How many more prayers do I have to pray?
Oh JB I'm so sorry, I would totally give you a hug and make you a big fat margarita!
ReplyDeleteI don't know, JB. I'm so sorry. I'm sending many prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteIve been in your shoes many many many times.. and I find myself in them still. I dont know the answers, I dont understand the cross... it sucks, its awful, messy and completely unfair.
ReplyDeleteYet, I believe your day is coming, and I will cling to that hope for you when you cant.. and I will never stop believing your arms will hold a baby... because God is faithful, even in the storm.
May your weekend be an abundance of peace & rest.
Your in my prayers. <3 Jess
My heart is breaking. I am so sorry, JB.
ReplyDelete2 in a week! Seriously maybe you and mr.jellybelly need to take a "break" from seeing these people who are announcing their pregnancy news..oh but wait..how do you avoid that? I completely understand how you feel. I have been deciding if i want to go tomorrow with my DH to his nephews birthday. What can you do, obligation and constant social expectations always always put us in a tight space and we are expected to "grin and bear it" and then cry like crazy afterwards..Did i tell you i cried like a crazy nutcase right after i saw my SIL deliver her baby and of course saw the newborn. worst off the hallway was splattered with more baby pictures. Another reminder that i might never be able to put up my baby picture on that wall! Hang in there! Hope you will come out tomorrow for the yoga. I feel like crap too but i'm pushing myself to keep busy. Stay strong. All things happen for a reason to us and maybe the answer is just around the corner. HUGS AND LOVE ..i should bring a bottle of booze ..toronto sucks unlike montreal when you can drink alcohol anywhere!
ReplyDeleteMr. JB's comments about being mocked and not going to church brought it all back for me. I've been there and I hate that you're there. It really doesn't make sense.
ReplyDeleteLike AYWH, it brought it all back for me, too. I hate that you're feeling this way. Praying you can get through the weekend!
ReplyDeleteI often feel like I'm being mocked and ridiculed too, thought if I started going to Church maybe things would get better, that's clearly not the case. I am so sorry. I don't know when your time will come or what God's plans are for you, but I do know, He will sustain you. xoxoxoxoxox
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry. That is so much to deal with. I pray you receive extra graces this weekend.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry JB.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand Mr. JB's thoughts.
I am right there- standing in the trenches with you.
Prayers for you today!
Looks like we are both having crappy days! I am really sorry- I feel bad complaining, when I have not been waiting as long as you. I feel your heartache though- I do.
ReplyDeleteSending you prayers and this feeling will pass. I will be praying for you tonight at the Healing Mass.
I hate that you're there. Because I'm there too and this spot sucks sometimes!!
ReplyDeleteTwo good friends delivering babies any day. And 3 new baby announcements all in one week, one of which got pregnant on their honeymoon.
My thoughts exactly.
ReplyDeleteYesterday was a horrible day for me, too, as you know.
I was telling Sew that a good Catholic friend of mine was talking to me about my new house and said, "It's so interesting that the Lord lead you to a 7-bedroom home!!" I answered, "Yeah, interesting. Or ironic." She replied, "Well, the Lord isn't really in the business of being ironic."
Sew said,
"Clearly she hasn't read your blog!"
Hahahaha ;)
Oh JB and MR. JB.....I am so sorry you are having a rough go of it lately, announcements never help, especially those who are not going about it the prayerful and correct way, bless your hearts. I certainly pray today that you won't have to wait much longer....
ReplyDeleteSo many people have said it better than I could. I am sorry. Praying your day is coming SOON!!!! ((Hug))
ReplyDeletePraying for you and mr. jb! Big hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteAw, so sorry JB. :( My heart is breaking for you.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I'm sorry. And with Mothers Day around the corner ... This is a bad week all around, it seems. I hear ya on the losing patience part. What else will you learn by waiting????
ReplyDeleteJB, I just don't know. I'm so sorry. I can feel still feel the sting of infertility in my heart at times and it is so painful. I hate that you're going through this and I'll be praying so hard for you, and for everyone who is waiting, that your crosses may be lifted.
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