3 April 2011

Insert sigh of relief here

My yoga retreat was exactly what I needed. I was able to eat everything, and with abandon I might add (I wept tears of joy in front of my friends at lunch today because I was so overcome with joy at the food! It is very rare that I don't worry about eating when I'm away, so the tears shed were a true expression of happiness).

Only three of us weren't trained yoga teachers so I was a bit intimidated, particularly since I am not as fit as I was before my surgeries. We did a two and a half hour led class yesterday and it was amazing. I wasn't able to do a few of the postures, but I felt such a sense of accomplishment.

I was able to get some good prayer time in as well. I ate too much at lunch yesterday so I took a walk by myself and prayed the rosary and this morning while in a restorative pose I listened to the rosary on my iPhone. I am so glad that I have found creative ways to incorporate prayer into my yoga!

This weekend I prayed mostly to have a open heart. I have been focusing so much on what I don't have that I've failed to see all the blessings that I have now. Surrender is something that my (non-Catholic) yoga teachers talk about in class -- particularly when talking about being frustrated with your body, and we all know that I have many bones to pick with mine! I have to trust in the Lord's divine plan for me. I can't coerce or force my wants and desires from Him.

There is a beautiful wall hanging in the practice room at the retreat and the words ring so true:

In the end what matters is
How well did you live
How well did you love
How well did you learn to let it go

I needed to be reminded of this, and I definitely need to let my anger go.

I hope that I can hold onto this feeling of calm that I have in my heart. I may have to bookmark my own post as a reminder!


  1. So glad the retreat gave you the peace you needed...I find almost always pray while in my restorative poses. It brings me peace from within when I do. Glad the food was good too :). You're much healthier than I am so probably would have struggled with the food, but the rest of the retreat sounded wonderful!

    I love that last little saying....I may have to bookmark this too ;)

  2. I am SO GLAD you got some stress relief!!!

    I wish you lived here so we could do yoga together :) I haven't done it in a while but plan to start back up!

  3. I really like that saying at the end, I need to tape that to my forehead! I am glad that they lots of yummy food for you!

  4. I have the iRosary app, but I want to know what you have that lets you LISTEN to it!!!

  5. This is great to hear! The part about being able to eat all of the food made me smile. I bet that was such a relief. :)

  6. Soooo happy to hear you got the rest you needed. I LOVE that saying, I think I'm going to write it down and place it somewhere I am often.

  7. I love that "saying" that you found at your yoga retreat! so happy you are BACK AND I'LL SEE YOU THIS COMING FRIDAY AT OUR FERTILITY YOGA!!! I think you are a strong and beautiful woman! i admire your positivity--although you might not notice you show that but even though you are going through this tough journey and have went through so very much but i admire the fact that YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND MAKING YOURSELF LOOK PRETTY AND GORGEOUS! I think this TTC road brings most of us really down and we tend to lose ourselves and forget that "hey, we are woman, man love us (or at least our dh does) and we can't forget about looking great on the outside even if in the inside we feel like crap! but i do believe when you look great on the outside you will feel better inside! I have to say there a few ladies (including you my wonderful girlfriend) who knows how to keep yourselves looking fantastic!---okay, i'm talking about WHAT YOU ARE WEARING!!! keep that going cause when i feel like crap and i see you take care of how you are dressed believe it or not..little things like that put a smile on my face! and it inspires me to pull myself together as well! Yes, you have ALOT going for you right now this very moment!!! a wonderful DH, soon you will have the home that you want to live in, travelling, yoga, teaching (your passion) how many people can say they have accomplished at least 2 of the things i 've just listed here about you? so, and to top it off...i just love chatting with you about shopping/fashion--coach bags and not just about ttcing all of the time!!!

  8. So great to hear that you had an awesome retreat! And I love that saying too--you said you'd have to book mark it, but I think it'd be cool to actually make a bookmark out of it, so you'll always have it while you're reading! :)

  9. I linked through from little catholic bubble - your words are so beautiful and meaningful. Letting go seems to be an over-and-over again proposition. I am learning more and more how to dilate my heart - open it fully - and let go of my self for whatever God may bring. And yoga makes sense- if we can't start with our bodies, I don't think we can get very far. Thank you for sharing.

  10. Awe I love that saying. Remind me of that often ok! It's so good to hear that you got so much out of the retreat. I love hearing the calmness in your voice. It calms me. Hugs

  11. 2.5 hours of yoga? You are a stallion, there is no way I could do that and I HEART YOGA!!! I must say I am impressed Jelly Belly...

    Love the quote, so true. Definitely bookmark it, I may too.

  12. Amen to abandonment and letting go of anger. If only they made a pill for that like they do for...a lot of things infertiles take pills for :).

  13. This weekend sounds awesome. I totally need one of these. Actually, I just need to get off my butt and do ANY exercise but yoga would be perfecto!

    PS: I've been thinking of you as we deal with our crazy HOA lately...wow people can be ridiculous! I can't imagine being in charge of it all!