2 January 2011

Dear 2011

Dear 2011,

Hi! It's really nice to meet you and I am really looking forward to getting to know you better.

2010 was an interesting year. When I think back it was a year of spinning my wheels. Nothing really happened and all I did was wait more, not something I really wanted to do. My body has healed nicely from the surgery that I had in 2009 and I was ready to move forward. Unfortunately, it was more of the same in IF-land.

It wasn't until November when things got a little interesting. I started to see Dr. Nora and I have been feeling so good since starting my new treatment regimen. It is a bit of a pain to have to drive to the city to see her, but I feel like I'm back to the pre-surgery me. I just wish that all of the supplements didn't cost so darned much!

The end of December was great. Not only did we have a couple weeks of vacation, but now I have new perfectly seeing eyes! I think that there will be many new sunglass adventures in my future! Although the recovery was a lot more painful than I had anticipated, it definitely was worth it. AND I got caught up on my sleep while letting my eyes heal. A win-win situation in my opinion.

So 2011, part of me is excited and the other is cautious. I would really like to be a mom this year (well, I've wanted to be a mom since 2005, but come on, this is getting ridiculous!). I have to swallow my fears and I have to push forward into the world of adoption. A baby from overseas is not going to come to me on its own! I am so scared to start the process because I'm tired of being out of control. Then again, I thought that I was the boss of my body, but we know how that has worked out.

I'm also trying not to think about turning 36 in a few weeks. I honestly thought that I would've been a mom by now. Although I'm not feeling all tired and run down anymore,  I still don't want to be OLD when I become a mother for the first time.

I've also decided that I'm done taking it easy and I am going to get back on the fitness wagon. I know that I have to ease into being fit JellyBelly, but I no longer want to be flabby! Whoever told me that one's metabolism changes after 30 was right! Mr. JB and I are going to do a workout (that I can't recall the name of) that doesn't require equipment and I'm going to step up my yoga schedule. No more easy classes for me! We're planning on going to a resort for March Break and I want to be fit for the beach!

So 2011, please be gentle with me. It's a new decade and a new start. I so want my dreams of a family to come true this year.

Please don't disappoint.


p.s. I also promise to clean out the room of shame. That project totally got sidetracked. Now that I'm not suffering from adrenal fatigue I have the energy to finally do it!


  1. Sounds like a good plan. I will join you with the fitness goals.

    I pray for you daily, JB!! I SO want you to be a mom, too.

  2. I am hoping as well that 2011 is the year you add to your family (or are in the countdown to add to your family).

    The age thing may not be what you have planned, but there are good points about being a rather more "mature" parent - you and your dh will be more secure in who you are, how you want to be as parents, and how to handle the decisions that come up. And having gone through IF - you tend to appreciate and be grateful for every single day and night, even the difficult ones.

    2011 - please be good to all of us!

  3. I hear you regarding the 36 thing. Even though I just turned 36, soon I will be saying, "I'm going to turn 37 this year" sometime around oh, May. Jesus, I trust in You!

    Sidenote: I shipped a little something to you last Friday. I hope you love it as much as I do! Happy New Year!

  4. Adoption, strangely enough, does not make us feel as out of control as we thought it would. Of course, we started with a baby available, THEN doing the paperwork, etc. so that helps...but I have to say that having a list of things you need to do, checking them off, and knowing that there will be a baby in your arms at the end of it...it actually does make you feel like you're somewhat in control!
    I hope things go smoothly for you as you get things started.
    And I hope 2011 cooperates and brings you your dream of motherhood this year!

  5. Cheers to a good year and all that is to come!

  6. I love your blog, which makes me love you! I want so bad for you to be a mother as well. You are one of those on my prayer list:)