19 August 2010

It would've been...

...poetic justice.

Saturday would have been Peak +17. Yes, the day of the scandalous wedding.

Alas, yet again AF has decided to show up, ever so lightly but there nonetheless.

I talked myself down all day. I had the conflicting voices going on in my head, "It could be...Don't be silly...Well it's already 7pm and AF hasn't arrived yet...Maybe????"

I need to channel the feelings that I felt on Sunday. I need to remember that the fruits of all of the prayer and the wonderful blessings from Fr. Mike will make my dreams come true.

I will be a mother.

I don't need to despair.

But knowing this didn't stop me from breaking down. I'm so good at keeping it together, or at least seeming like I am together. I could've won an Oscar.

Or twenty.

I have to pray harder. I have to believe more. I have to be willing to let my heart hope.

For now, I am going to order some more F.emara.

There's always next month....


  1. something big is coming for you and TCIE, i can feel it! praying for you, as always!

  2. oh, hon! I am so sorry, but please know you do not have to pray harder - you are doing everything just as God would expect you. You will be a mother - I believe it with all of my heart!! Sending prayers your way!

  3. Darn!

    Well, all it means is one more month closer to when you WILL be a mother! I will keep praying! But I think you've brought in the "big guns" with that wonderful priest!!

  4. Oh screw :(

    I'm so sorry. But I think your time is soon... and more importantly, I think you are NEXT.

    I really, really do.

  5. Ugh. Sorry :(.
    I really hope your dreams come true soon.

  6. Oh JB, I'm so sorry... I wish there was something I could say or do... Other than pray of course which I'm doing right now.

  7. You are in my heart. Good luck. You are right, next month is right around the corner.

  8. Will there at least be drinks at this wedding? Ugh... I'm sorry.

  9. Sorry about CD 1. I'm praying for you and I hope your day comes very soon.