27 June 2010

Anxious JellyBelly

I should be resting.

Or doing laundry.

Or putting clothes away in our closet.

Or maybe even having a snack.

Instead, I'm blogging in an attempt to keep a panic attack at bay.

It doesn't help that I have a little summer cold. I started sneezing while we were grocery shopping yesterday and I haven't stopped since. I've increased my vitamin C dose and I got a good night's rest, but the sniffles are getting the best of me.

I know that I'm anxious about the end of school. I've been waking up in the middle of the night with more things to add to my to-do list. Lucky for me, I think that I finally have enough boxes for all of my school stuff (yes girls, I am a school resource pack rat AND I have hardly any school-related stuff at home since I've had a classroom to store it in for nine years!). I had the bright idea of asking some older kids to help out since I know that I can't do it all myself while keeping my class entertained!

Another reason why I'm feeling anxiety is that the first time the bottom feel out, it was the end of the school year. Last year I was so glad to see my class move on since they were NUTS, but this year has been so great that I'm sad to see this class go. I know that I will be teaching half of them again, but the current dynamic of the class is great. I feel such a sense of pride when other teachers say how smart and well-behaved they are!

On Friday we did a rotation with the other grade one classes and my teaching partner said that my class applauded when she finished explaining how to make their craft. One kid even told her that it was a good lesson. What 6 year olds do that???

My teaching partner and I have mixed our two classes really well and I got to keep the kids I really, really like, but I'm worried that the poor behaviour of the other kids is going to ruin the good behaviour of my students. I know it's silly to worry about it since there's no way of telling what my class in September is going to be like, but I can't help it!

So on Friday one of the special ed teachers and I were talking about next year and she made an interesting comment. We were talking about one of the little guys in my class who has a mom that is quite difficult (which is teacher speak for crazy, really, really crazy, she has driven each of her kids' teachers nuts AND I have a suspicion that she has dealt with IF, lucky for me, she likes me and her son is a nice kid).

Mrs. M made a comment that it would drive J's mom crazy if I were to go on maternity leave next year and that it may be the trick to getting pregnant. I didn't know how to respond since I have only discussed my fertility issues with my principal and one other teacher on staff (who dealt with endo before she had kids and now has three adult children and a bunch of grandkids). Nevertheless I thought that it was sweet of her to be encouraging, in a roundabout way.

Lastly, I'm in a bit of a conundrum. In the past couple weeks I've dealt with some really bad migraines and I've traced them back to having received communion! I know that the host is made with wheat, but I don't want to stop receiving. Mr. JB has said that I should just take the wine, but I just don't like not receiving the Eucharist. I have a very friendly relationship with our pastor and I know that he wouldn't have a problem with giving me a tinier portion of the host (which is what my brother-in-law does when we have mass with him), but do any of you know of any wheat-free host options? It would break my heart to have to stop receiving communion and I want to go prepared when I speak to our priest!

17 comments:

  1. Unfortunately I believe this topic has already been decided upon for those with Celiac's disease... the fundamental component of the host (to my recollection of the debate) has to be wheat as this is what the first Eucharist was. It is an important part of the transubstantiation that the "substances" area always the same.
    :(
    But asking for smaller pieces is probably a good idea- and taking a small piece WITH the blood of Christ will make you feel more "satiated" for the Eucharist.

    I had to laugh when I read about those kids applauding the teacher's lesson. It reminded me of when I read my Kindergarten kids the Big Book of "I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly." When I turned that first page and read, "Perhaps she'll die." They all paused for a shocked moment then started laughing and applauding!! It was so funny, I think they were just so unsure of how to react, but definately thought it was funny that "death" was approached in such a light manner... whatever the reason, I was peeing my pants! (Little 5 yr old Catholic school kids applauding a little old lady dying, hahahaha!)

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  2. *area should be are

    I could be wrong about this. Ask one of the Catholics who knows more than me ;)

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  3. Your students sound wonderful, I can see why it would be hard to transition to a slightly different group. I hope that your cold goes away and that you can find a solution to the Eucharist. I vaguely remember reading about low-wheat celiac "friendly" hosts, but can't remember what publication it was in, sorry.

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  4. I found this web page about lower gluten wheat hosts (they do have to be wheat and water only for the Eucharist).

    Your students sound wonderful and I can understand how you would be worried that next year won't be as good, but maybe your good students will be a positive influence on the less well-behaved new students.

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  5. Hey JB,
    There are low gluten hosts that are koscher, so to speak, but the no glueten hosts are no longer made with wheat and are therefore not valid matter. BUT the Church has been very, very clear that the host or the wine alone are complete. I know that one can't always bend one's feelings to logic, but the only thing "missing" would be how you would feel about not receiving the host. You would be receiving the Eucharist completely, just as you do when you only receive the host. I'd be happy to dig up references for you if you'd like.
    glad to hear your kids are so sweet

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  6. In re: receiving - second the Expat Barrenness's comment. That's what I've heard also. Though I would be sad to have to receive in another form, too :(. But the Church has ordained those rules and God has allowed that you'll have Celiac's, so, He understands...

    I always got sad at the end of school years. The end of anything is sad. (And yet working now off the academic calendar, the fact that there is not a natural end to years wears on me terribly.) Patience with yourself, I think...I hope you feel better soon.

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  7. I believe the teaching is that both the body and blood are present in each (the host contains the body and blood & vise versa). I know there are at least a couple of places that low gluten hosts can be purchased. The girls are right, there does have to be at least some gluten to be sacramentally valid.

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  8. Wow, thats a lot to think about through the night, is there anyway the migraines are coming from not sleeping? I know you would know best about your body, how you feel, and where to trace them back too, but I just wanted to throw another option out there. I get terrible migraines when I'm anxious and don't sleep. I am sorry I don't know much about hosts and gluten free.....wish I could do more to help you there.
    The kids in your class sound amazing, but I am sure your teaching skills have something to do with it. Your a good teacher, I am sure you will be able to blend the next group of kids quite nicely!

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  9. Like TCIE and others said, there is no other matter than wheat bread. However, Christ is wholly present (the body, blood, soul, and divinity) as much in the Precious Blood as in the Sacred Host.

    Sorry about missing your kids. Yo entiendo.

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  10. One of the first things I read after my celiac diagnosis is that a lot of people continue to have intestinal damage because of hidden sources of gluten in places like the communion wafer. It would be sad to not receive - but you do need to take care of your health. I'm sorry for asking if you've mentioned this already, but have you been tested for celiac disease, or are you just avoiding gluten b/c of an intolerance?

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  11. It would be sad not to receive the host, however, while the precious Blood is a different species, it is still the fullness of the body, blood, soul and divinity of our Lord. So while the feeling may not be quite the same, the reality is. I think I've heard of certain Celiac friendly hosts or I'm sure your priest could work out a smaller piece for you. I hope you figure something out!

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  12. We have several people at our parish who receive only the Precious Blood (though still getting the whole Christ, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity). One of them is a young nun from our convent, who is a Dominican Sister of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist! And she never receives the Host, only the Cup. She, like you, need to be mindful of your health.

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  13. One of the nuns a Mother Angelica's only recieves the Precious Blood. Remember it doesn't matter what species you recieve under it's the SAME body, blood, soul and divinity. Let me say that again, it DOES NOT matter what species you recieve under,it's THE SAME.

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  14. Everyone already said this ... but Christ is fully present in both elements, so you could just take one. I realize that would be disappointing, though -- I love taking both! Since your priest is so nice, I bet he could give you a smaller piece of the host, if you think that would help. Or you could break off a tiny piece yourself and give the rest to your husband? I guess that would be kind of awkward...
    I think you and your priest will be able to find a good resolution -- hope so!

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  15. That's weird, because we have a number of people at our parish who receive gluten free hosts. I don't know if they are just low gluten, but I do know that two of the women that I know have celiac's and have no trouble with them. Both were having migraines before getting the gluten free host. Speak to your pastor. I don't think you should have to go without receiving the body. That makes me sad.

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  16. Just wanted to pipe in as one with Celiacs to say that receiving the Precious Blood only isn't so bad. :) You are not receiving any less of Jesus... both are fully the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity as others have pointed out.

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  17. i agree with Sarah, you are not recieving any less of Jesus if you just get the wine. I'm interested to hear what you decide to do.

    your class sounds like a great bunch of kids! :)

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