Five years ago today

August 10, 2004.

The day that Mr. JB proposed. I made him ask me twice because I was in so much shock.

Let me set the stage: I had just gotten home from helping my oldest friend (who was also my matron of honour) plan her daughter's baptism. We had a date to watch the A.mazing R.ace at my apartment and I was concerned that he was late. Mr. JB didn't have a cell phone (and he didn't get one until a year into our marriage) so I couldn't call him. He arrived five minutes into the show and he walked in with a bunch of flowers. He sat down on the couch beside me and had me open the paper and the ring box was on top.

I opened the box and almost lost my mind. He got down on one knee and asked for my hand in marriage and I started to scream. I think that I put the ring on my finger, but then I told him to ask me again because I didn't remember the first proposal.

Obviously I said yes. And when it sunk in I called the friend who I was helping and her sister (who was living with her at the time) answered the phone and we screamed and jumped up and down. I called a whole bunch of people and e-mailed some other friends. I was so giddy with excitement that I could barely contain myself.

Mr. JB, along with the dozen red roses, brought me some really good pepperoni and champagne. The pepperoni was kind of a joke between us. I used to have an addiction to H.ot R.ods (really salty pepperoni sticks that kids like) and he wanted to show me what the real stuff tasted like.

We've been through a lot in the past five years. My latest surgery aside, we've been through a few really bad colitis flares, buying a house, being inexplicably infertile then getting my endo diagnosed, his brother moving to Italy then moving back home, home renovations, the list is endless. I know that his commitment to me is so strong -- he's taken care of me through every illness with little complaint. I've been really demanding since coming home Friday and he just rolls with it.

Speaking of coming home. I was so absolutely exhausted that I slept most of Friday. The ride home was crazy bumpy and even though I was kitted out with a good pillow for my belly. I had no idea how bad the roads were until then! I was so wiped out that I couldn't even muster the energy to shower until Saturday morning. One of my girlfriends came to hang out with me while Mr. JB went grocery shopping. While I was in the hospital Mr. JB and his brother were surviving on take out -- something that we NEVER do when I'm healthy. It was great to have K around and she brought me some trashy magazines.

I had a really good night's sleep on Saturday, but I woke up on Sunday with some bad incision pain so Mr. JB had to bring me my pain meds in bed. I've been drinking a meal replacement drink in the mornings so I can take my medication and it's been really helping. Sunday afternoon my mom and one of my aunts came by. They didn't stay for very long because my aunt wanted to go shopping (this aunt doesn't drive so she really depends on my mom). I was kind of ticked because I could tell that my mom wanted to stay and tend to me.

Btw, my mom has been great since my surgery. We've had such a tumultuous relationship, but now that she has a particular task (i.e. taking care of me) she's totally in her element. She even apologized for not being at my house to shower me on Saturday! She's taken three weeks of holidays so she can come over and take care of me. She's already planned to work on my garden and iron our clothes! I wish she could be like this when I'm feeling strong and confident, but it's obvious to me that she has a hard time feeling useful in my life. I'm not a needy person when I'm not recovering from surgery, so I know that it's hard for her since she's a very nurturing person.

Anyhow, after my mom and aunt left a couple of hours passed and then ELEVEN family members showed up. I had requested one of my other aunt's fantastic won ton soup. I didn't expect it to show up this past weekend, but my aunt took the request seriously and dropped it by yesterday. I had missed a couple of family parties so my aunts, uncles and cousins decided to bring some of the party to me! It was great to see them, but I was pretty wiped out by the time they left.

Mr. JB laughed when they left that they seem to travel in packs. They did the same thing when we were getting ready for our wedding. Again, my family is really good when they're given a task. I'm sure if I were to call my mom and request food, a whole bunch of people will show up with enough provisions to feed a family of ten! I guess it's one of the perks of having a huge extended family.

So I'm feeling pretty good today. I finished my entire lunch today and I feel my appetite coming back. I've been feeling less incision pain, but that may be because I've been keeping ahead of it with the medication. And yes, I'm on oxycodone, not oxycontin! The doctor also gave me some N.aprocin (sp?) as an anti-inflammatory. I was also told to take a stool softener since the business has been slowed down by the meds and the surgery. I didn't take it last night because I thought that I would be okay, but I will not make that mistake again!!! My insides feel pretty raw and I think that I can feel where the endo was removed. My pelvis feels like it was scraped pretty well and whenever I pee my bladder just feels weird (the doctor did remove endo from my bladder too).

I think I'm going to work on going outside to my backyard tomorrow. I've been working on going back upstairs for my shower for the past hour. Mr. JB still has to help me get my bottoms on and putting lotion on my legs is nearly impossible. Small victories, right?

I'm starting to feel more energy to read and comment on your blogs. I don't want to bother Mr. JB with reading and commenting on your blogs for me anymore. He did a good job while I was in the hospital, but I'm ready to take that responsibility away from him. The poor guy is doing enough!

I want to thank all of you for all of your prayers and comments in the past week. You've helped me get through one of the hardest things that I've had to in our journey towards our baby. I feel so hopeful now. I haven't felt like this since we first got married and I had no idea what our issues were. I haven't felt positive in so long and it has to do with all of your support -- especially the amazing ladies that I met two weekends ago. I felt your prayers lift me up and even though so many of you are so far away, I knew you were with me in that scary hospital room. It's great to know that I have an army of strong women that are behind me. Take that endo!!!!