27 March 2011

Dealing with Disappointment *Updated

Yesterday was not a good day.

I couldn't shake the feel-me-sorries, regardless of how much I tried. Mr. JB, the patient man that he is, reminded me that we will find our house and that it just wasn't meant to be. We also talked about a couple of things that we didn't like about the house, mainly the fact that it backed onto a service road and that it was quite the walk to our parish (and the school that our kids would go to).

And most of all, we're glad that we didn't stretch ourselves financially for a house that wasn't 100% perfect.

We are so blessed to have a real estate agent that treats us like his family. There was no way that he was going to let us pay more than what the house was worth and we know that he was an amazing negotiator. It seems like he's just as disappointed as we are!

The best thing that has come out of this experience is that we know what we need to do to get our house ready. We've decided to repaint our ugly kitchen cabinets rather than replace them. H (our agent) and his girlfriend even offered to help us! Now that's full service!!!

I know that IF has taught me how to deal with disappointment and that after five and a half years, I have had my share. And I know when life events, like not getting a house that we both loved, are things that happen. My sadness gets amplified to ridiculous proportions because of the daily struggle of IF. I do believe in my heart that we will find the perfect "forever house"  -- I believe that more than I believe that I will have a biological child (yes, I am admitting that).

We are stepping up prayers to St. Joseph and to St. Anthony (we saw he relics yesterday and I left intentions for all of my IF friends who are praying to conceive). I just hope that the people that got the house will love it as much as we would have. I hope that their family is happy in their new home, because I know we would've been happy living there!


Update: Our real estate agent just BBM'ed Mr. JB and told him that the house sold for $510 000, but with no conditions. I am disappointed that it wasn't a money issue (since that was our top offer), but there is no way that we would've bought a forty year old house without a home inspection!

We know now that we have to get our financial ducks in a row before we put another offer on a house. That, in itself, will help with my level of sanity. I have a vague idea of how much our financial life will change with a bigger mortgage, but I want to see it in black and white!


  1. I'm sorry you didn't get your house, but I can certainly attest to the relief at realizing you were about to overpay for something you weren't 100% in love with just because you got caught in competition. That mortgage payment will be with you for a long time, so getting a good bargain is worth it! I also have to say, I can SO relate to the idea that the daily disappointment of one more day when your body has failed to make you a mother makes any other disappointment seem like it will kill you. I prayed a novena to St. Joseph - gosh, I think last March - for a number of intentions, one of them being to find us our house. It's been so long I had forgotten about it, until I was looking at the plot plan for this house and realized that, because it fronts onto a busy road, you access the driveway from the back, by means of a little bitty road - Joseph Street. Of course, I originally was sold on the house because it was walking distance from St. Mary's church.

    I'm sure St. Joseph will answer your prayers much sooner than mine, because you are so much less of a pain in the neck from the heavenly point of view :).

  2. misfit cracks me up :)

    I am continuing my prayers to St Joseph for BOTH of you!!

    I know THE house is out there, the house God wants you to be in. Keep that chin up.

  3. "I'm sure St. Joseph will answer your prayers much sooner than mine, because you are so much less of a pain in the neck from the heavenly point of view :)"

    Misfit, you are hysterical!

    JB, sorry you missed out but you are right, that old of a house with no inspection is crazy. You're perfect house will come along, I'll be praying along with you and bugging the Good Lord! :)

  4. oh JB, so sorry you did not get the home you wanted but I am confident one day you will be sitting in your perfect home thanking your lucky starts that you did not (although I'm sure you don't feel that way right now). You have had your share of disappointment and I pray that it ends soon. So looking forward to seeing you again!

  5. Who would buy a 40 year old house without an inspection? Doesn't anyone watch HG.TV anymore? Sorry they didn't except your offer but if there is a problem with that new house...those new owners are going to have to take care of it on their own...they took a huge risk. You'll find that house that you love!

  6. Really hope you get the next one! Our agent encouraged us to go without the financial approval clause, but we insisted on keeping it, even though we were pre approved for more then what we took, because sometimes the lender wants to view and value the home(and determine if it's really worth the mortgage), at least that's what ING has done with our last 2 houses, so the financial clause is an importnant one! And home inspection, absolutely!

    Your home is out there, waiting for you!

  7. A home inspection is a must, and I'm glad you know that. I cannot believe anyone would spend that much money and not want an inspection, but I guess they might have waaaaayy more money than either you or me. Maybe they don't care about the problems because they can afford to fix any problems that come up.

    You'll find what suits you perfectly. I know it.

  8. Yes, a home inspection is ESSENTIAL! I will pray that the home you want comes up soon, and for a good price! Praying!

  9. Sounds like they are headin' for some headaches. Go glad you were saved from that deal! And, so excited to see what the final one will be. It will be EVEN BETTER!

    Can't wait!

  10. I agree with L. Joann- you were saved from major heahaches. I feel your pain and understand EXACTLY what you are going through. We are still in the "waiting phase" of an offer and it is painful- so many unknowns! I will be praying for you~ St. Joseph please intercede!!

  11. I'm so sorry! But no home inspection? That would be scary! I'll be praying for you!

  12. aw it was not meant to be but I am really hoping you find the right house soon!!!!!!! Sending you big hugs!!!!
    Definitely insist on a GOOD home inspection! our home inspector missed some things and owed us money - and then left his business with no word to anyone... :-/ so we paid for it ourselves...home inspections matter SO MUCH! :) - glad you stuck to your guns!

  13. I think you will find the perfect house - this just wasn't it.