Yesterday was not a good day.
I couldn't shake the feel-me-sorries, regardless of how much I tried. Mr. JB, the patient man that he is, reminded me that we will find our house and that it just wasn't meant to be. We also talked about a couple of things that we didn't like about the house, mainly the fact that it backed onto a service road and that it was quite the walk to our parish (and the school that our kids would go to).
And most of all, we're glad that we didn't stretch ourselves financially for a house that wasn't 100% perfect.
We are so blessed to have a real estate agent that treats us like his family. There was no way that he was going to let us pay more than what the house was worth and we know that he was an amazing negotiator. It seems like he's just as disappointed as we are!
The best thing that has come out of this experience is that we know what we need to do to get our house ready. We've decided to repaint our ugly kitchen cabinets rather than replace them. H (our agent) and his girlfriend even offered to help us! Now that's full service!!!
I know that IF has taught me how to deal with disappointment and that after five and a half years, I have had my share. And I know when life events, like not getting a house that we both loved, are things that happen. My sadness gets amplified to ridiculous proportions because of the daily struggle of IF. I do believe in my heart that we will find the perfect "forever house" -- I believe that more than I believe that I will have a biological child (yes, I am admitting that).
We are stepping up prayers to St. Joseph and to St. Anthony (we saw he relics yesterday and I left intentions for all of my IF friends who are praying to conceive). I just hope that the people that got the house will love it as much as we would have. I hope that their family is happy in their new home, because I know we would've been happy living there!
Update: Our real estate agent just BBM'ed Mr. JB and told him that the house sold for $510 000, but with no conditions. I am disappointed that it wasn't a money issue (since that was our top offer), but there is no way that we would've bought a forty year old house without a home inspection!
We know now that we have to get our financial ducks in a row before we put another offer on a house. That, in itself, will help with my level of sanity. I have a vague idea of how much our financial life will change with a bigger mortgage, but I want to see it in black and white!