28 September 2009

Listening

I just got home from getting a Thai yoga massage. One of my yoga friends is doing her training and she needed some guinea pigs and of course I signed up! The massage was at least an hour and a half and I was so relaxed at the end that I could've just slept on the mat until morning.

I've been having a really hard time with my body and the healing process. For some reason I expected to have my pre-surgery body back by the time I went back to school. I know that I pushed myself too hard and that I should've taken it easier. I know that I can't blame myself for the abscess and my last stint in the hospital, but it's obvious that I just need to chill out.

I wish that I could just bounce back and go back to doing level 2 yoga classes. At the back of my mind I'm worried that I'm going to get all flabby from the lack of exercise which I know that is completely irrational. I also have to stop giving my body deadlines. I have to stop thinking, "In October I'll be able to go back to my yoga practice." I should be taking advantage of the restorative yoga and yin classes that my studio offers.

I'm not good at being patient and the past four years of infertility have definitely made waiting that much harder.

I wish that it was easier to just take care of myself and rest. If only my mind had a pause button....

8 comments:

  1. I will trade you!!!

    You need some of my laziness and I need some of your go!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Totally, I was thinking the exact same thing, Sew!!

    Actually, reading this post reminded me of how wonderful it is how you have taken care of your body, JB. As you know, I like yoga, but it just requires so much motivation for me to get going with it, that I often go months without practicing at all... and then have to start from square 1 again because my limbs are all stiff. Even after 1 week, I see a huge difference in my flexibility and overall energy levels.

    You treat your body the way God intended us to. And as a sacrifice for a quicker healing for you, JB, I will start up my yoga again :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm glad you had a good massage. I'm sorry you are having a hard time being patient, but remember you'll actually heal fast if you are careful not to overdo it. Like Sew and TCIE said, it's great that you are taking such good care of your body with yoga, many of us do have the persistence to stick with it as you have.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your wee body will be ready when she is ready and not a moment sooner! I know it is hard, I have done nothing but go to work and go home since mid august - not fun - but, it is all I can do, be gentle with you - you will get better, it just takes a whille.
    Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I didn't learn to take it easy until after my third surgery...and then I wasn't allowed too because I couldn't get enough time off of work!

    My mom told me that she has had lifelong problems from not recovering properly from certain illnesses and surgery (and childbirth included). It can take 3-6 months for your insides to heal, so the longer you can give yourself, the better!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good advice to yourself! I definitely take the recovery time seriously (and since I tend to be lazy, it's a GREAT excuse.. haha!). Dr. H really stressed it, while my dr. this time did not, but I knew from before how serious the time frame is. And even after the six weeks is up, we're still not 100%!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, this is hard to read - I have been investing hopes in the surgery, that it will fix my defective body, which is SO SLOW. But you took care of yourself beforehand - what a boon that is! It will make you heal faster, and you need not doubt that, just as soon as you're healthy, you'll be back to your impressive routine. Spare a thought for me in the states here, turning into an infertile Jabba the Hut... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oddly, I know exactly the craving you're describing. It is so hard to be thwarted by your body when you desperately want solace. But if the will is there, the flesh will follow soon, esp if you do take some time to rest.

    ReplyDelete