19 December 2013

Is He sending me a sign?

We just finished having daily mass with my BIL.

(Have I mentioned that I love being related to a priest?)

Both readings mention old, barren women. 

Samson's mom and the wonderful Elizabeth. 

Yup, two old barren women that ended up with with two amazing sons. 

This the day after my first CD1 meltdown in a LONG time.

Yes, an ugly, pathetic cry that I held in all day. 

It was pretty amazing that I was able to, but I did. 

I was barely in the door when the tears came. 

I was so happy that Mr JB was at his staff party and I was able to cry in peace. 

Hit infertile rock bottom right before Christmas. 

Ugh.

So is it a coincidence that these were the readings? Is He sending me a sign? 

6 comments:

  1. I remember those readings from last year well, the word "barren" still echoes in my mind and heart from hearing it in our cathedral. I don't know if it helps, but when your heart is ready, read what I wrote last year: http://www.theroadhomewv.blogspot.com/2012/12/humble-faith.html That even *if* it is a sign from Him (which I think only you can discern) there is hope and beauty in that, it is your response that will make the difference.

    My heart sank as I read this post, I didn't go to Daily Mass today because we had an office luncheon, but as I read your words I was sent back to that day last year and, oh, I'm just so so sorry my sweet friend. If you need anything, please text! Love you!

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  2. I'm sorry. Hope is such a tricky thing. praying for you, it's such a hard time of year to deal with infertility.

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  3. Hope you feel better soon...and I love to have my good IF cries in peace as well...When dh is home I have to explain...sometimes there is no explanation. I've heard those readings before and it just reminds me that events in our lives are to happen on God's time..not ours. Anything is possible with God...and even for those old barren women who did have sons...it shows that it's true.

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  4. Praying for you! I hope that having let yourself have that good cry leaves you peaceful going into Christmas.

    It so hard to tell what is truly a sign and what is our searching and hoping for signs; I'm hoping and praying for more guidance for you.

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  5. Sending up prayers for you. IF is really the worst around the holidays.

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