30 April 2012

I feel so done

We just got back from the Napro doctor.

She tested my urine and when the nurse came in to double check she said, "Let's do a beta."

I was on the edge of my seat for the rest of the appointment.

My hormones are rocking, as is my CM. I've had fantastic cycles. Fantastic, viable cycles.

But the beta was negative. And considering I had a false positive on P+15, I figure this cycle is done.

I feel like throwing in the towel.

I'm so done.

:(

Btw, she said that there was blood in my urine and she's going to send it to the lab. She doesn't think that it's another pelvic abscess since I have no other symptoms. She said that if it doesn't clear up that she's going to send me for an ultrasound to take a look at my kidneys.

So the cloudy pee saga continues...




24 comments:

  1. Sorry JB. Big huge hugs. Keep the faith - it may take 12 months +/- 2 months. I am still worried about your cloudy pee though....

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  2. So sorry for that news. Truly am. Not sure what to say...except I feel so bad for you.

    One question, not sure if it is the way it works up in Canada, but why wait for the ultrasound? Did they do a urine test? Blood work for high white blood cell count? Blood in urine is a sign of kidney infection. And back pain can go with it. Could an infection be affecting your other hormone numbers/counts???

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  3. Sorry. Forgot to ask yet another question? Are you allowed in Canada to request the tests yourself from your doctor?

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  4. Boo, the cloudy pee did not listen to me! I told it to go away!!

    I'm sorry you're feeling down. TTC after surgery is harder in a weird way, b/c you know your surgical issues are fixed so it's frustrating to keep struggling along. I remember that feeling so well...it still took me six months after surgery, and I felt the same way. Despite being healed, that post-surgery time of TTC was one of the hardest for me emotionally, and I was in much the same place you are...I had given myself a TTC deadline and everything. (I'm not trying to make this about me...just want you to know your frustration is understandable and normal).

    I'm praying daily for you, my Canadian buddy! <3 you!!

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  5. I'm so sorry! I hope you get answers soon about the cloudy pee. Hang in there with the fertility stuff. It hasn't been that long since your surgeries. You can do it! :)

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  6. I'm sorry you've hit a major roadblock. My "I'm done" moment was when the injectibles cycle failed miserably. Period came on-time like nothing ever took place. Pray, God will give you the answer of what to do next.

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  7. Praying for a diagnosis soon and for hopeful days to come, JB.

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  8. Hurting along with you friend. Struggling more post-surgery than I ever could have imagined.

    (((hugs))) and prayers.

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  9. I hoped the cloudy pee would be a simple fix. I'll keep praying.
    Hang in there on TTC. I wish I could say or do something. God did not bring you this far without an amazing plan in store for you. (((hugs)))

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  10. I would be on pins and needles if the Dr wanted to do a beta on me too. And you had a false positive? I would have died. I don't blame you for wanting to give up but something is telling me now is NOT the time. Stay strong and you can soldier through this difficult time.

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  11. OH lady, nothing worse than "let's do a beta" and the answer is negative. I was pregnant there a few times and was having early miscarriages(even saw a positive pee stick a few times).

    Your journey is so hard and it just makes me angry.

    (how about immune testing to see if your rejecting? It's getting more and more common in Canada).

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  12. I meant to comment on the pee situation, I have had cloudy pee, I can't remember what the cause was, but I hope they figure it out quickly.

    The blood in the urine is endometriosis, I have had blood in the urine in all my urine samples.

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  13. Stupid cloudy pee - GO AWAY!!!!

    Ugh... I'm so sorry, JB. Hugs!!

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  14. I agree with Isaiah - she said it so well!!! Stupid, stupid...

    I am sorry J - what a horrible roller coaster of emotions that you been on. ((Hugs)))

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  15. Oh man! I am sorry you are suffering so much, the worry is draining and you have so much going on in the other areas of your life that you just need an emotional vacation ;)
    False positive on the p+15 STINKS!!! False positives really hurt. xoxo

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  16. Ugh! Nothing like a neg beta to add to the frustration. When they drew my last one they asked if I thought I could be pg. I appreciated the enthusiasm (sort of) and said no. Lo and behold AF arrived right as I got home. I'm with ya, I'm 8 mos. TTC after surgery and it's harder now that things are "fixed".

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  17. So sorry, JB! :( I agree with Perfect Timing....you've been through so much and I just know He must have wonderful things all planned out for you! Still praying for you!

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  18. Everyone else has said it well. Stupid stupid cloudy pee. I hope you find answers soon. Praying for you to persevere.

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  19. I am so frustrated for you. :( What a roller coaster... :(

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  20. Ugh, so sorry you're having such a rough time right now :(. Hope you figure out the mystery of the cloudy pee soon.
    Feel better! ((hugs))

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  21. Jb...so sorry, I would have died too w/ getting a beta....so upsetting!
    Send you prayers

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