12 November 2011

Day Fifteen of the Big Infertile Adventure -- Where JB Starts to Lose Her Mind -- UPDATED

I am officially done with being in pain.

Done.

Like dinner.

My second-look lap went well (as Mr. JB reported yesterday) and we were back at our awesome hotel by 1pm. I have never been so grateful for the ultra-comfy beds!

The biggest reason for my frustration was that I felt great when I woke up yesterday morning. I did have some pain, but it was totally bearable and I didn't need any help getting ready.

[sigh]

I know that this is a temporary setback and that this is all part of the healing process. Also, I didn't eat enough yesterday so I had a horrible headache and my blood sugar was all over the place. I was really careful to eat breakfast and snack today since the painkillers did nothing for my head.

I think that I'm also worried that Dr. Hilgers is going to have bad news, although he was very positive when he spoke to Mr. JB after both my surgeries. As I've blogged before, this is it. My last surgeries. Ever. The last thing that we are going to do to have biological children. Part of me wishes that Dr. Hilgers will say that we can't have kids so we can move on, but another part of me is scared to hear anything he has to say.

I've tried my best to keep positive, but being the social being that I am, it's hard to be holed up in a hotel room in an unfamiliar city. There is only so much television a girl can watch! Mr. JB tried to cheer me up by watching the M.uppet S.how DVD that he got me for Christmas. Even that didn't get me to laugh.

I know that this is a passing phase and that we are both very homesick right now (although we are in love with the beds!). Once we're home I know that my spirits will be better since I will have people visiting me.

This dying to self business is tough stuff!

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Update: I spent the entire day feeling sorry for myself. It wasn't until I took a shower at 7pm (yes, I am a sloth) that I realized why my belly was in so much pain. I have two new incisions, not one! When Dr. Hilgers removed the Gore.tex yesterday he made another incision below my belly button as well as the incision inside. That explains why my stomach hurts, it isn't just gas pain! I don't know why that makes me feel better, but knowing that there is a physical cause is a comfort.

I chewed gum (and blew bubbles), had some fizzy water, ate beans and walked around our hotel room many times. The gas pain has abated, but the belly pain is still there. I am so glad that the hospital sent me home with an ice pack!

Also, the bandage covering my belly button is in the shape of a flower and the incision below is a heart. I think that the Fellow working with Dr. H has a sweet sense of humour! 

11 comments:

  1. Praying for your healing process, your spirits, and good news from Dr. H. regarding your fertility!! Hang in there.

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  2. Hang in there! I can only imagine the stress! There is some strange "comfort" pre-surgery in that there is at least "one more thing" that could be done. And I hear ya on just wanting answers, even if it is a definite "You're never having biological children." Sometimes the not knowing is the worst. But, it sounds like there's a lot of good ahead for you two. Praying.

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  3. I know you will feel better in a couple of days! It just takes some time to heal, and you went back into surgery just as you were healing. You will feel better soon and totally forget the pain and frustration in a couple of months.

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  4. Can't wait until you are HOME. Seriously, I think you are coping better than most, I would be screaming at (even) St. Dr. Hilgers by now and everyone in Omaha would be runnning away from me.

    I can understand how you feel about the desire of wanting both kinds of news/feedback.

    UGH.

    Can you go outside but for small walks?

    My prayers continue for you every day.

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  5. Little JoAnn: The gas pain is really high up and I don't really have pants I can wear outside. I started chewing bubble gum and it's helping the gas pass, but it hurts! Maybe after I shower I'll convince Mr JB to go for a taco or something. I just wish the elevator wasn't so far from our room!

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  6. Little progress every day, right? Praying for your healing. Am excited for what dr hilgers says. :) And I can't wait to come visit when you're home!

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  7. Praying for you, JB! You're such a strong woman-you can handle this! :)

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  8. I remember that...it does feel like a setback and it's hard because it comes at a time when you feel like you've turned a corner. But in a few days you will feel just as good as before your second lap.

    I wish I were closer so I could visit more! :( I know it's hard but it'll be so worth it. I prayed SUPER hard for you at the retreat!

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  9. No news is good news. Sorry to hear that your pain continues. It really is a cross to be bed ridden. But you are on the mend. It won't be long now...

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  10. I wish I could reach through the computer and cheer you up some way.

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  11. Praying for your continued recovery. I know after my surgery (in Canada), that even WEEKS after, if I did too much, my belly incision would hurt again. It became my own personal barometer, of sorts. Go easy on yourself, JB. And DO get sone if those awesome tacos! I keep seeing all kinds of great Omaha taco places featured on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives.

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