1 September 2010

Normal Sucks

Yes folks, normal sucks big fat donkey balls.

Ha ha.

First off, today has been the LONGEST day of my life. My appointment was at 11am and I felt like I have not stopped since I got out of bed this morning. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but setting up a new classroom takes A LOT of effort.

But I digress since this isn't a teaching blog.

So, my appointment with my Napro doctor was anticlimactic. After imagining the worst of the worst, I found out that my thyroid is normal.

I'm not hypothyroid.

WTF?????

Here are the numbers:

T4 Free 16 pmol/L
sTSH 1.06 mIU/L
Free T3 3.8 pmol/L

All within the stupid range.

Argh.

My vitamin D was also normal: 153 nmol/L

My vitamin B12 is fine: 903 pmol/L

I was also concerned that my iron was deficient, but alas that wasn't: 75 ug/L

So nothing new is wrong with me, but my stupid hormones are still messed up.

Here are my Peak +7 numbers for June:

estrogen 204
progesterone 189

And for July:

estrogen 150
progesterone 95

(Sorry about the lack of units. I got a photocopy of some of the results so I could show my naturopath.)

My Napro doctor is concerned that my LH was high and that I didn't seem to ovulate until two days later according to my hormone and ultrasound panel from July. She would like me to try an HCG trigger on my Peak day to help the follicle rupture (thank God that HCG is covered by our insurance!). She also wants to change my F.emara dosage. I will be taking five pills on days 3, 4 and 5. In addition to that I will be taking E.stace post Peak (I will also continue HCG on Peak +3, 5, 7 and 9).

Two more cycles of this new protocol.

The biggest event is that she prescribed H.ydrocort for my adrenal fatigue, even though my levels weren't crazy low. I complained at length about my pervasive fatigue and she agreed to put me on a low dose (5mg daily). It's a start and hopefully it will give me enough of a boost so I'm not a zombie.

Lastly, Mr. JB got the result of his most recent sperm analysis. Apparently his great summer (= lots of adult "pops") has affected his sperm count. His count from last week was only 11 million whereas at his last sperm analysis two years ago his count was 36 million. The motility and morphology were both fine, he's just got to cut back on his drinking A LOT. Not a huge sacrifice in comparison to all the things I've had to give up!

I'm feeling so numb to my results. I so wished that I was hypothyroid so I could have a clear-cut reason for my IF. I would like to hope that the H.ydrocort will give my reproductive system enough of a boost so we can conceive, but I know that I am almost at the end of my TTC journey. I know that I have only so much more patience with my body and I need to move on.

I hope that after my meeting tomorrow then a restful long weekend will bring me more perspective. I know that I have a lot of discerning to do in the next while. There are adoption papers to fill out in my basement and other agencies to research. And most of all, I have a lot of praying to do. I have to figure out how to heal my disappointed and broken infertile heart before I can see what is ahead of me.

And hopefully it isn't an insane asylum, because I'm close folks. Really close.

20 comments:

  1. Ugh...normal, seems to be the bain of the infertile! I totally get this post. I am sorry that were no further flashes of insight, but hopefully the hydrocort will get you over the tipping point. Good luck with setting up your classroom!

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  2. Ugh, I totally understand how you just want an answer - normal is so blah...

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  3. SO SORRY!!! It would have been SO good to finally KNOW what is exactly going on!! I know we are always asking ourselves "WHY?".....why me?....why now?...why is this happening? I wish these tests would have given you the answer to at least one of those whys. I am confident that the answers are out there and will present themselves in time. Enjoy the classroom setup, I can't believe its that time again.....I feel like it was just yesterday you were saying you were starting your summer job!

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  4. Oh, I am so sorry there weren't any clear cut answers. :(
    I will pray for you as you go forward.

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  5. Ugh. I think your post title sums it up perfectly.

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  6. I am not sure what other Thyroid tests you have had done but I think there are other tests that can be indicative of an issue and still have those other three be fine. Have you see the wesbite 'stopthethyroidmadness' ? theres lots of info in there you might want to read. Although my iron was fine, I had low levels of ferretin (iron storage) which indicates an issue. also have your uptake checked (if your still convinced theres an issue). Feel free to email me with questions.

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  7. Good luck with your new protocol and with your classroom.

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  8. What are the ranges of those Ft3 and Ft4...Just because you are within range means nothing...Plus I was in range, my numbers looked great and I was having major symptoms.....But it is a battle to fight. ;) hahahaha

    It will be interesting to see how the cortisol does for you....I'm suspecting and this is completely uneducated, that maybe your adrenals took a hit after your surgery and are not properly distrubting those thyroid hormones leaving you with symptoms. ;)

    That's an easier fix then any thyroid issue too. I promise you do not want a thyroid issue. :) It's a PITA to get the "proper" help.

    Take that cortisol after you eat, not on an empty stomach. ;)

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  9. Ugh, I can totally relate. I HATE getting normal results... and that is usually what I get! I feel like I still don't know the cause of my IF. :( Praying for you!

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  10. I've heard of GREAT success on hydrocort. Hopefully it will help you a lot! Praying.

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  11. I'm so sorry JB! I was really hoping you'd get some sort of big answer...ugh. That is so frustrating. Praying for you hun!

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  12. Ugh..but your estradiol actually looks low to me. What are your day 3 numbers, LH, FSH, Estradiol? How is the blood flow to your uterus? You need to have THAT measured. But, it's tricky getting this measured, I know. BUT it's big time important. I am going back to read your post now. What did you say about your LH surge again? You may need Citracide. That keeps ones LH in check so it doesn't rise too fast and ruin the ovulation.

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  13. Maybe the missing key is the late-ish ovulation and not the thyroid? Maybe the trigger will be the key?

    I know "maybe" doesn't help a darn bit. I know it is hard to not have a concrete answer. I know it would have been nice if your thyroid had been the missing key, but in the grand scheme of things, it is probably best to not have to worry about a thyroid issue.

    As for the lower sperm counts, they can vary from sample to sample. Has Mr. JB had a fever, cold or illness in the last 2-3 months? If so, that can be the cause of the lower counts.

    Hang in there!

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  14. Maybe your adrenals are the culprit...I hope that new medicine helps. I can give you the recommendations I received (I'll dig them up) about natural supplements that help with energy. But, I agree, your thyroid levels are perfect...I'm sorry you haven't found the answer yet :(

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  15. You, me, and our perfect thyroids are one big unhappy infertile family :)

    Adrenal help can be key. I don't think your door is completely shut yet. I really don't.

    Keep remembering Fr Mike's advice and his powerful prayers :) And most of all, his "feeling!"

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  16. Oh no...I'm sorry! That does suck to want to figure out what the heck is wrong, just to find out it is nothing. Bittersweet!

    Quick question, how the heck does your insurance cover the HCG shot?! It's so expensive and my insurance wouldn't cover it! Just curious...

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  17. I don't have any advice, but I hope all the other advice helps you figure out the issue. Sometimes normal does suck; so there weren't any obvious answers.

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  18. My doctor didn't rule out thyroid problems until we did the iodine uptake test - you take iodine, then pee in a jug for 24 hours and then they look to see how much you excrete.
    I thought anything over 3 (T3) was pushing abnormal, though?

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