AF snuck up on me. I was in the middle of tiding up and there she was when I went for a pee break. I was suspicious since all I've wanted to do is ear chocolate and sleep, but there was a glimmer of hope that the H.ydrocort + HCG trigger was going to do the trick.
It's sad that I'm not surprised. The first thought that came to mind was that I want off of this TTC train. Five years of being disappointed month after month are just too much. I know that there are those of you that have been waiting much longer, but psychologically I can't do much more.
The scariest thing is what is going to come next. I hoped that I would be drawn to adopting, but the thought of remaining childless seems to be more and more of an option.
I never thought that I would ever think of the latter as an option.
The thing is, I'm not in the depths of despair, part of me feels almost at peace. I know that I have a wonderful life filled with many, many blessings and that perhaps this is how my life is meant to be.
More discerning to come, I'm sure.