Joyeux Mardi Gras!

Happy Fat Tuesday everyone!!!

We just got home from our last restaurant meal until after Lent. One of my bridesmaids is home for the week and we were so happy to have our last dinner out until Easter with her. She moved to New Jersey nine years ago, the same month that I moved to France, and since moving back home I miss her very much. She was the very first friend that I made in grade two and we've been friends ever since. Mr. JB loves her too. She's fun to be around AND when I asked her where she wanted to have dinner she chose our favourite hang out!

Today was a fun day at school. I made pancakes for my class and they ate them for their snack at recess this morning. Honestly, they make me feel like a superstar! They wouldn't stop raving about how delicious the pancakes were! One kid even tried to get seconds, but since there was only enough for one pancake each I had to send him back to his desk to have something from his lunchbox.

My staff had a Shrove Tuesday liturgy before we had a pancake luncheon. My old school used to do staff liturgies once a month (I chaired that committee until I left the school) and this was the first staff liturgy in a very long time. It was so nice to worship and then eat lunch together. Not a lot of teachers eat in the staffroom, and if they do it's a very brief stay. Both the principal and the vice principal stayed for the entire lunch.

My class made Mardi Gras masks and we paraded to the main office to show off the masks and to recite a poem. The principal and the secretary were so impressed! I cannot believe how much French they speak and it's only February! I would say that 80% of the time they're speaking to one another in French. How great is that?

As I've mentioned before I think that it is not a coincidence that my surgery is during Holy Week. I have a lot to prepare for the next 40 days. These are the things that I'm giving up:

1) No more wine. Not that I drink very much, but my one glass a night has really taken the edge off when I'm all wound up from school.

2) No more eating take out. We are really lazy come Friday. Mr. JB and I almost always get take out on Friday nights or during the weekend. Not only is it better for us health-wise, it's going to force us to make sure that one of us cooks every night.

3) No more pop. I usually only drink pop a couple of times a week, but I love it. Last Lent I lost 5 pounds not drinking pop.

4) No more impulse shopping. I have LOTS of clothes, LOTS of shoes and LOTS of purses. I do not need any more stuff. Next time I feel like buying something I'm just going to go through my dresser drawers and my walk-in closet. I always forget what I own and that's just inexcusable.

5) No more staying up late on school nights. Really that's self-explanatory.

Also I'm going to attend mass on Friday nights and Stations of the Cross afterwards. I always give things up, but I think that it's important for me to do something as well as part of my Lenten sacrifice. My Friday nights are usually spent sleeping on the living room couch. My soul needs nourishment too. I wish that my school's parish was closer and that I could go to mass before school as well, but it's not possible. Going Fridays (and hopefully I can convince Mr. JB as well) makes me feel happier and going through Jesus' way of the cross reminds me what Lent is all about.

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It's Peak +9 today and my boobs are killing me! I've been wearing a sports bra to bed the past couple of days because they hurt so much. I went for my Peak +7 bloodwork yesterday because the lab was closed by the time we got back to the city on Sunday (we were visiting my in-laws over the weekend). I don't see my doctor until after my surgery in April so I won't know what my levels are until then.

I'm at the halfway point with the antibiotics. I've had no side effects which is so great. I still feel no symptoms, but I'm dutifully taking them. I'm hoping that I don't get a yeast infection, but I'm holding my breath!

I'm off to bed. All the pancake making has made me very tired. I hope that all of you are enjoying stuffing your faces before tomorrow!

Merci beaucoup

Thank you all for your advice. I phoned the doctor's office and spoke with one of the nurses. She told me that the lab found Enterococcus in my urine sample. I asked the nurse about not having any symptoms and she stressed that since the bacteria was found that I had to take the medication.

So I just had my dinner and I started my week-long affair with M.acrobid.

Yay!

[Can you hear the sarcasm?]

Adventures In (No) Antibiotics

So Mr. JB went to the pharmacy on his way home from having a drink with a buddy this evening. Our pharmacist knows us really well since I am on so many different medications. Lucky for me I called my hubby on his cell phone as he was talking to the pharmacist and he was told that the antibiotics were for a bladder infection.

Now, I've had quite a few bladder infections in my lifetime. In university I went through many, many tests because I was getting them so often. I had an MRI and ultrasounds, and my doctor couldn't figure out what was going on. The coolest thing about going through all of the testing was that my doctor discovered that I have an accessory spleen attached to one of my kidneys!

Anyhow, I know what a UTI feels like. I've had the uncontrollable urges to pee and I've had the pain. I have none of those symptoms. I haven't seen blood in my urine. So I told my hubby to tell the pharmacist that I didn't want the prescription filled. The pharmacist, who is super-thorough, said that he would log the prescription for me just in case my symptoms get worse. We brought the urine sample to the lab almost two weeks ago and I haven't felt ANYTHING.

I know that I can't die from a UTI. And most of all, I'm sure that all of the antibiotics that I've been on have caused the never-ending illness that I had before Christmas. I'm also so sick of having to take a TON of medication every day. Between the baby-making meds, my colitis and asthma meds AND the stuff from my naturopath, my house looks like an apothecary!

So what do you think folks, is it okay that I didn't get the prescription filled?

Dear JellyBelly

I'm trying an experiment on whether or not I can blog well AND play S.crabble. Let's see how this works out...

So nothing came out of my stress on Friday afternoon. A didn't even mention the fact that I gave her a kiss on the head. Thank God! I honestly don't think that she noticed because she was in so much pain. Whew!!! I'll have to remember my teacher brain and not my nurturer instinct more often, although it is so hard when I have such genuine affection for my students.

Yesterday we celebrated our second Family Day -- a civic holiday for most people in my province. Mr. JB and I had a great day. I made blueberry pancakes, I cleaned out some dresser drawers and my portion of the walk-in closet (which is 90% of the closet! I'm so grateful that we have three bedrooms because my hubby has most of his clothes in the guest room!). I have yet another bag full of clothes to give away, yay! In the afternoon we went for a long walk to the lake. It was a crisp and cold day, but it was so beautifully sunny. I really boosted my vitamin D content yesterday! Before I headed to yoga we watched Tropic Thunder which Mr. JB enjoyed and I absolutely hated. I actually picked up my computer and started doing searches on W.ikipedia so I didn't have to watch!

My biggest accomplishment yesterday was successfully executing a yoga pose that I usually find so difficult. I don't know the Sanskrit or English name, but essentially I had one leg wrapped around the upper part of my arm then my other leg was hooked around the other leg's ankle then I lifted myself up off the ground. I did it on both sides! I was only up for a count of 2, but I went up nonetheless. I find arm balances really challenging, mainly because I don't trust the strength of my wrists. You should've seen the HUGE smile on my face when I actually lifted myself off of the mat!

Remember how on Valentine's Day I had a movie date with a girlfriend? We really enjoyed He's Just Not That Into You. It was a really funny movie and I think that Mr. JB would've enjoyed it as well. It's a perfect date movie. Anyhow, I snuck a few peaks at my friend and she watched the movie with her arms crossed across her chest the ENTIRE time. K has been going through a difficult time relationship-wise and I'm the only friend that she's confided in about what's going on. You see K is interested in a friend of ours who is gay. She knew that he was homosexual very early on in their friendship (it's also pretty obvious, in my opinion), but they have been spending so much time together that many of our friends think that they are a couple. One of the reasons why K has been holding onto hope is that G, our gay friend, dated a woman once in his past.

I've tried many, many times to convince her to move on. I listen to her, respond to her endless e-mails about the situation and I'm just there for her. K is a great person, but she's not seeing things clearly. G has made it clear to her that he is not interested, but she is still hanging on to the minute sliver of hope that he's going to switch teams!

I know that my duty as a friend is to be patient and listen to her. The answers seem so simple to me, but I'm not caught in an impossible situation.

Onto cycle news: I'm on CD19 and Peak day (the last day of clear, stretchy CM) was on Sunday. This cycle my doctor put me on Guaifenesin which I have to take from CD11 to my Peak day, but I didn't see much of an improvement with my CM. I only had two days of 10KL (clear and stretchy CM) this cycle, although I had 5 days of 10SL (shiny with lubrication). I usually have quite a few days of 10SL every cycle and I have only one or two dry days (I have so many green stickers and so few "fake" white babies!). I'm sure it's the C.lomid's fault!

Also I've been so grumpy the past couple of days. I have no patience and I'm just so grumbly. I also can't stop eating chocolate. I'm having PMS symptoms early or the C.lomid is making me crazy. I'm betting on the latter.

Lastly, I had a message on my voicemail this afternoon from Dr. T, my Napro doctor. My naturopath mentioned that I had blood in my urine so Dr. T asked me to send in a urine sample to my local lab. Well, apparently something came up because her office called in a prescription for antibiotics. I have no idea what's wrong. I'm hoping that the pharmacist can tell me what the meds are for.

I better get back to my game of S.crabble. Mr. JB is beating me! I guess I was successful at blogging and board gaming!

Kiss Misadventures

Happy Sts. Cyril and Methodius Day everyone! And of course, Happy Valentines Day!

I'm having a pretty varied Valentine's Day today. I'm going to see He's Just Not That Into You with a girlfriend this afternoon. It's pretty topical because she's dealing with someone that is not really into her. I've been helping her deal with her situation and she's treating me to the movie as part of my birthday present.

Mr. JB and I celebrate Valentine's Day the same way every year. Since we went to Greece for our honeymoon we get Greek take out from our favourite place and eat it on our fancy china. We only eat on our fancy dishes once a year and it's always on Valentine's Day! We already exchanged our gifts this morning. He got me cute pyjamas and I got him a Z.ippo lighter (I know I shouldn't be indulging his cigar smoking habit, but he almost never asks for specific things and he really, really wanted one).

I was pretty worried that celebrating Valentine's Day with my class was going to be really stressful. We've been working on various activities for the past two weeks since they take FOREVER to do anything. As soon as they walked into the classroom the kids wanted to exchange their cards, but I had planned to decorate bags for their cards. I also knew that if we started our celebrations too early that they would've been so wired on treats that it would've been impossible to do any of the things that I planned.

The kiddies were most impressed when I showed them how to make hearts. I folded a sheet of red construction paper, drew half a heart and then cut it out. You would've thought that I made a bunny appear out of thin air! When I cut out the middle of the heart and showed them the results one of the kids said, "Wow Madame you're amazing!"

Teaching six year olds is really good for the ego!

We finally got the bags finished and the class gave out their cards and treats. I only let five kids bring in edible treats for our in-class parties because I don't want to be overrun with sweet treats. I also made them mini chocolate cupcakes that they devoured in seconds flat.

The afternoon was going really well until one of my more challenging students came up to me with tears in her eyes because her ear was hurting. She was absent earlier in the week with an earache, but yesterday the other ear was bothering her. Little A came up to me and hugged me so tightly and hugged her back then I gave her a kiss on the top of her head.

Then I panicked.

I have heard over and over again from my teachers' union that as teachers we have to maintain a professional distance. I'm not allowed to hug or have any physical contact with my students. It's been really hard to keep from touching the kids in my class. The kids regularly attack me with hugs and they are always touching me. Before the end of the day yesterday most of the class attacked me with a group hug! I think that it would bother them more if I told them to stop.

Little A didn't notice that I kissed the top of her head, either that or she didn't think it was strange. When her big sister came to pick her up at the end of the day she did the exact same thing: she hugged her and gave her a kiss on the top of the head.

I think that its pretty sad that I'm feeling guilty about my actions. It's sad that we live in a world where I have to feel conscious of my actions, regardless of their intent. It was definitely easier with the older students. When I taught the fifth and sixth grades the kids weren't interested in hugging their teachers.

If I were A's mom I wouldn't be bothered about my kid's teacher giving her a kiss on the top of the head. After all, it was A who hugged me first and it was breaking my heart to see her cry because she was in pain.

I really have to stop worrying. I'm sure that nothing is going to come of what happened. I just have to keep reminding myself to keep my professional distance.

Easier said than done.

In cycle news, I haven't seen any CM until yesterday. It's CD16 and before going on the evil C.lomid I would've already ovulated. I'm feeling a dull pain in my lower right side (the same place I had pain at the beginning of my cycle) . I ovulated on CD17 last month, so it looks like things are following the same pattern. I've been really bad at falling asleep on the couch so we haven't been trying very hard in the TTC department! Hopefully we can make up for it tonight!

I hope that all of you are having a great day and that your hubbies are spoiling you rotten!

The Miracle of Reiki

I always say that I will try anything once. Really, what do I have to lose, right?

So my wonderful chiropractor's office was doing a promotion for free Reiki treatments and I had my first session yesterday after school. I have nothing but respect for my chiropractor, who I credit with saving me from a life of chronic back and shoulder pain. I knew that if she had a Reiki practitioner in her office that it wasn't just some strange hocus pocus.

For those of you that don't know know, Reiki works with the body's energy. K, the practitioner, used her hands on various parts of my body to help bring the healing energy to the area. K also told me that she can feel what other people feel in their bodies, which is why she decided to practice Reiki.

K started the treatment by putting her hands on my feet and then she went directly to my stomach. At that point I hadn't said anything about IF or endo, but she just knew that my lower stomach area needed focusing on. I told her that it was very interesting that she was drawn to my reproductive organs because of my impending surgery as well as our struggles to get pregnant. I also told her that my instincts knew that there was something wrong, but it took four doctors to finally diagnose me with endo as well as low progesterone.

Once again I feel even more confident that my surgery is going to bring us the answers that we need. I can't remember if I mentioned that my naturopath did testing and something that came up as a concern was my endometrium. Honestly, all signs seem to point to endo! The question is: How bad is it going to be?

The Reiki treatment left so energized. When I arrived at the clinic I was so exhausted. We had just celebrated the 100th day of school and I made 82 Cheerio and Fruit Loop necklaces with grade ones all day! I could feel waves of energy in certain parts of my body -- particularly my heart and my head (which I think is because of my wisdom tooth. Btw, my tooth basically stopped hurting after the treatment!). I also saw different colours which K says are related to the various chakras.

K also, very generously, said that after my surgery that she'll come to my house to do a Reiki treatment to help with the healing process. I'm also thinking that it would be a good idea to book a treatment before my surgery as well.

I don't know if Reiki is going to help me get pregnant, but I certainly felt so good afterwards. And really, that can't hurt, right?

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I'm going to the dentist after school to deal with my crowning wisdom tooth. I'm pretty scared since I haven't been in over two years. I told my hygienist that we were TTC and every time I had my cleaning she brought it up. I really didn't want to have to talk about being infertile with someone every six months! I really hope that the dentist has a solution for me, teething at 34 isn't fun at all!

Migrating pain

So the suspected cyst pain is dulling and since my period was only six days long (the shortest period of red stickers on my chart EVER!!!), my cramps have said goodbye until next month. My crowning wisdom tooth is still bothering me -- so much so that I made an appointment for the dentist AND I got some A.nbesol to dull the pain. I have to ask this again: how do babies deal with getting teeth????

And to top it all off, instead of going to 8am yoga this morning, I woke up with a splitting headache. Actually, we both woke up with headaches, something that has never happened! I downed two ibuprophen, had breakfast and had some potato chips (for some reason salty foods have helped my headaches), but the pain is still lingering above my eyes. I think that the headache is being caused by the barometric pressure. We've just finished a horrible cold snap and the temperature has jumped over 20C! According to the news it's 7C outside which is crazy because the kids were kept in because of the frigid temperatures.

I really wish that my body wasn't so sensitive to the weather. Honestly, ever since I was a young teenager I could predict the weather because of my bad right shoulder. Judging from the headache pain I'm experiencing right how, we're going to get rain, and lots of it.

So yesterday I was finishing up a lesson in Family Life -- it's a component of the Religious Education program and the curriculum talks about friendships, families and sexual education from a Catholic perspective. The past couple of weeks have focused on a couple named Domenic and Sara. We see them meet, date, marry and then announce that they're going to have a baby. Yesterday's lesson involved talking about how parents get ready for a baby's arrival. My class was especially excited yesterday because they got textbooks to follow along with. Really, can grade one be any cuter????

So many of the drawings of Sara and Domenic showed the baby growing in her uterus -- the baby's special home for nine months (One of my students said that a woman is pregnant for three days! So funny!). It was a difficult lesson to get through, more difficult than when I've had to teach about how babies are made with older students. I imagined before we got married that we would be like the people in my Family Life textbook: meet, get married, have a baby. I've never heard in any textbook the situation that we're in: meet, get married, try for a really long time to have a baby and try not to have a nervous breakdown every month when we find out that we're not pregnant.

Judging from the ages of some of the parents in my class, I'm certain that there have been fertility issues. My biggest problem child is adopted (I'll go into that story another time, I really don't want to get all upset on a Saturday afternoon). There are quite a few parents that are in their mid-40s and are the typical over-involved, over-worried older parents that I've dealt with in my career.

I'm not really sure how I'm going to explain my absence in April. I'm thinking that I'll just have "the flu." Really, the kiddies won't really register anything. I'm also lucky that my surgery is during Holy Week, which means Friday and Monday off. I'm not planning to tel too many people on staff, although I'll have to mention something to my evil teaching partner since she'll have to plan with my supply teacher. I've been debating about telling her a half-truth and that my surgery is for something colitis-related.

I really hope that the headache lifts so we can go to the movies. We're trying to watch most of the Oscar-nominated films and we've been planning to see "Revolutionary Road" all week, then we're going to go grocery shopping. I absolutely love grocery shopping!

I'm off to pop some more drugs. I hope that all of you are having a great Saturday!

Hit me while I'm down, won't you?

The dangers of at work blogging.

Oh well.

So my period is basically done. I'm hoping that I'll have a seven day period like last month's "perfect cycle." But I won't hold my breath.

Not only did I have the WORST CRAMPS EVER, I now have a wisdom tooth that is crowning (my orthodontist made room for them when I had my braces, instead I had 5 molars pulled out -- ouch again!) and I woke up with a sore throat yesterday. 

Honestly, can I get sick more this school year?

Then this morning as we were leaving for work, Mr. JB announces that two more women on his staff are pregnant. I'm not so upset and jealous about one of the women who has been trying as long as we have, but the other one got married two years after us. To top it off the latter woman is complaining about her morning sickness and all of her pregnancy-related ills.

Argh.

I didn't think it was going to bother me as much as it is, but after this hellish period I'm feeling the self-pity something fierce right now.

April 7th is not far away, right?

Btw, I've been having some strange abdominal pain. I thought that it would go away when my heavy days were over, but last night my lower right side was just killing me! It's not so bad right now, but it was so unbearable that I had to sleep with a heating pad the whole night. I have two more days of C.lomid to go, it can't be ovarian pain, can it?

I joked this morning that I'm so glad that I changed schools where there are only 3 of us that are under 35. One girl isn't married and the other two are infertile! I wouldn't be able to stomach a staff where every single woman seems to get pregnant instantaneously! 

OUCH!!!!!

I wish that I was blogging about French bread.

Instead of waxing bloggofic (does that make sense?) about the birthday party that I threw myself last night -- yes folks, I throw myself a birthday party every year, check out the rundown of 33's celebrations here -- I'm suffering through the most horrible cramps.

Honestly, wasn't getting my period this month enough????

I cannot remember the last time I had cramps this bad. I get them, I've always gotten them. It was so bad in high school that my family doctor suggested to my very superstitious, traditionalist Catholic mom that I should be put on the pill. To which my mother answered, "I don't think so doctor. No way. Don't you have strong painkillers instead?" More than once she would leave for work and find me facedown in my bed at the end of the day because the pain was so bad.

I've taken the suggested amount of extra strength I.buprofen, I have a heating pad on my belly AND I took a LONG nap, but I'm still suffering.

I can't help but let my mind wander to the possibilities as to why my cramps are so bad right now. Is the endo? Was I actually pregnant for a brief time and am I miscarrying? I have no idea about the latter postulation since home pregnancy tests have been banned from my house.

I won't let myself even fantasize about what could've been if I made it to the Peak +17 blood draw. I was so disappointed to get my period on Friday, but I'm used to dealing with disappointment. I am so glad that I had my party to distract myself from being sad. I'm also relieved that only my best friend brought her kids (who absolutely worship me so that's okay. I picked up her son and he rubbed my face and said, "Auntie JB, I missed you." Then he gave me a huge kiss. Melt my heart!). My friends with babies either had babysitters or just didn't come. I do have a suspicion that one of my girlfriends may be on her 2WW since usually has a drink or two when she comes over, and last night she didn't even have one. I'm almost sure that we'll get that announcement soon enough.

My best friend and her family are coming back for the Superbowl tonight. The Steelers are my hubby's favourite team so he's pretty pumped. At mass this morning he kept on whispering to me that he was so nervous. Honestly, my husband is so cute sometimes! When they won in 2006 he cried like a baby. He didn't even cry at our wedding! Then again, neither did I. When I got to the top of the aisle with my parents I started to tear up, but I shook the tears off because I didn't want to look ugly in my pictures! I'm an ugly crier!

I shouldn't complain too much about the cramps though. Mr. JB feels sorry for me and he's cleaned up most of the post-party mess and he's even started dinner. He said earlier in the week that he wasn't going to set foot in the kitchen, but because I'm doubled over, he's taking care of me, yet again!

Do any of you have any foolproof pain remedies? I'm desperate at this point.

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p.s. Check this out. This story really makes me angry. On so many levels.