30 May 2013

To Trigger, or Not to Trigger *Updated

Update: I didn't do it. Honestly, sometimes the madness has to stop. I was meditating yesterday and I kept on saying, "Lord, open my heart to your will." I believe His will for me is to surrender (and to not be a zombie using post-Peak meds).

Thank you all for your prayers! I'm hoping there is more peace in surrender since it was hard to find it in doing.

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It's CD15.

Trigger day.

The meds are already ready and waiting.

The needles are too.

I've been feeling so torn about all this TTC business.

We're done all of our homestudy paperwork. And we're waiting for the summer break so we can track down and complete rest of it.

Yes, even after (almost) eight years of IF, the pace was scaring me.

I am so torn about doing the trigger shot tonight.

It's the end of the school year. I'm trying my best to stay at the top of my game.

I feel like a zombie on all the post-Peak medications --progesterone and Estr.ace just kick my butt!

Please say a prayer that I can discern what to do before tonight.

St. Rita, St. Gianna and St. Gerard, pray for us!

p.s. I met A Martha Trying to Be Mary on Tuesday night. She is just as amazing as her blog!

p.p.s. I switched back to sustained release T3 last week and I feel human again. Stupid thyroid meds!

16 comments:

  1. praying! Just do it. ;)

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  2. I know I don't comment much but I would say trigger! You have and continue to be in my prayers! What a long journey you have had to endure! May God's plan be revealed to you soon.

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  3. maybe you could just trigger and then not do the progesterone and estrogen..... i know they can make you feel so icky!! i think the progesterone is the worst!! but then maybe if you are going to trigger you might as well do it all!! and, it's perfectly fine to not do it too!! praying

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  4. oh man. Take the trigger and try (try!) to forget about it. I know easy for me to say.

    I'm glad all is moving ahead adoption wise. I have a feel good story for you about adoption in this neck of the woods when you want to hear about it.

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  5. Speaking only for myself, once we started pursuing adoption, I had to abandon my TTC regime. I was doing much less than what you are doing, just fertility yoga, acupuncture, and supplements, but I found that I didn't have the brain space to pursue both biological and adoptive parenthood, and the adoption stuff was demanding so much of my time, attention, and energy.

    Best for your decision! I have high FSH and low AMH as well, and I know how frustrating it can be.

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  6. Praying that you will hear that still small voice...

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  7. I read your update...I don't do triggers but there are times I just do not want to do those post peak hcg shots. The longer I have to do them without results...the more I want to be DONE. I know exactly what you are talking about. Prayers!

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  8. Surrender is so hard but so necessary at times. I still have a bunch of expensive trigger shots in my refrigerator with no desire to use them.....Praying for you!

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  9. Hi,

    I'm a lurker/stranger but I felt compelled to comment here only because what you said about surrender versus taking action reminded me of a prayer that I hoped might be useful to you (and maybe others as well). Regardless of the trial (whether it be infertility or something else) I think we've all experienced the confusion of trying to discern when to wait versus when to act, when to hope versus when to accept. Are these states of mind really contradictory, I wonder? I did a post a while ago on St. Benedict of Nursia and your post here made me think of the portion of his prayer that states:

    "Please give me...the patience to wait for you,
    The perseverance to look for you"...
    (Full prayer here: http://catholic.org/prayers/prayer.php?p=828)

    I've always thought these two concepts seem contradictory. But maybe not. Maybe we can have patience and perseverance at the same time, hope and acceptance at the same time. In such a way that "patience" does not mean "lack of action" and "acceptance" does not mean "giving up".

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