Today on my way home from the acupuncturist I decided that I was done feeling angry with the universe and all of its injustices -- I had a LONG time to think about it since the roads were so crappy and my twenty minute drive doubled.
The decision couldn't have come sooner.
I've been a total ogre to my students and I've been feeling more and more antisocial. I've been hunkered down in my classroom listening to my iPod instead of talking to the adults that I work with. I've also been thinking of moving to a yurt in the middle of the wilderness. Perhaps I was generous with my 96% positivity rating....
My "take time for fun" philosophy came from an ex-boyfriend. In the deepest throes of my depression we would TTFF and do ridiculous things. I could forget for a short time all of my ails and act silly or eat an insane amount of candy or just watch a funny movie. TTFF has evolved since my university years. At one time TTFF was getting insanely drunk after a grueling exam, but tonight I took TTFF to a new height.
I flipped through the new edition of Canadian House and Home while lying in bed.
Yes, the once hedonistic qualities of TTFF have been reduced to looking at a home decorating magazine! And not just any issue either. It was the home organization issue. I cannot think of anything better than looking at other people's home organization techniques and strategies. I felt my heart beat faster when I looked at a newly reorganized garage. I was practically shaking with glee when I turned to the section on how to reorganize the home office. The magazine holders from Belvedere made me drool.
So instead of brooding over the horrible weather, my barren uterus (yes, Aunt Flo has made her joyous monthly visit), my crazy class and annoying co-workers I am going to think of the beautiful cubby system that I am now coveting. The next time I feel pangs of jealousy at another pregnant friend I will think of the ultra-cool garage organizer that I saw in the magazine. And the next time my crazy mother calls I will think of the jewelry organizer that doubled as a cutlery tray.
Too bad the magazine didn't come sooner. I would've saved myself a lot of grief.