This is not how I wanted to start 2011...

I really wanted a nice peaceful New Year, but alas, the Lord has different plans for me.

So last night I was dealing with my own family drama. I was texting and e-mailing my cousins to get the full story since my mother doesn't want to tell me anything. She pretends to be in the dark, but after discussing, at length with my cousin V (the one who spoke to my younger cousin NR, who by the way is not sexually active. Thank the Lord for that! Apparently a "friend" added the offending item to her list on her i.Touch and she hasn't even been kissed.) to get the lowdown. 

What it boils down to is money issues. Two of my mother's sisters lent money to a cousin in the homeland and my uncle (who is married to one of the aunts that lent the money) wants to see a bigger return for the loan. The cousin that the money was lent to has started up a business that has taken off and it seems like my uncle is getting greedy. There's also the issue of one of my unmarried aunts who is not being treated very well by another aunt and uncle. It's a mess and my mom and dad are caught in the middle because they have lent money to family members too. To make a long and confusing story short, my family is feuding and it makes me sad. My mom always tries to protect me from the drama which is all in good, but I'm an adult and I shouldn't have to go to my much younger cousins for information! 

This morning I told Mr. JB that I wanted to address his brother's concern regarding our marriage. I was already riled up because of my family and I just wanted to get my side of the story heard. In my opinion I am being blamed for all of the issues. My BIL's issue with my making all of the decisions and Mr. JB doing all of the work is so off base so I wanted to let him know my side. What I didn't know is that Mr. JB has already e-mailed his brother to tell him that he is wrong. Mr. JB did mention our IF issues to him (since he omitted them from his first e-mail) and my BIL accused us of putting ourselves in a cone of silence.

WTF????

I don't have a cone of silence! I have a freaking blog! 

So what if I don't talk to a celibate priest about my IF issues. So what if I don't bring it up at the dinner table. It's my issue and I don't think that I need to talk about it all the time. 

Mr. JB and I have an open dialogue about IF. I have friends that I talk to, IRL and on the internet. 

So girls, I'm seething. What do you think I should do? Should I e-mail him myself or let this one go? 

If not, I'm heading to Italy on the first plane to punch him out!!! 

Dear 2011

Dear 2011,

Hi! It's really nice to meet you and I am really looking forward to getting to know you better.

2010 was an interesting year. When I think back it was a year of spinning my wheels. Nothing really happened and all I did was wait more, not something I really wanted to do. My body has healed nicely from the surgery that I had in 2009 and I was ready to move forward. Unfortunately, it was more of the same in IF-land.


It wasn't until November when things got a little interesting. I started to see Dr. Nora and I have been feeling so good since starting my new treatment regimen. It is a bit of a pain to have to drive to the city to see her, but I feel like I'm back to the pre-surgery me. I just wish that all of the supplements didn't cost so darned much!

The end of December was great. Not only did we have a couple weeks of vacation, but now I have new perfectly seeing eyes! I think that there will be many new sunglass adventures in my future! Although the recovery was a lot more painful than I had anticipated, it definitely was worth it. AND I got caught up on my sleep while letting my eyes heal. A win-win situation in my opinion.

So 2011, part of me is excited and the other is cautious. I would really like to be a mom this year (well, I've wanted to be a mom since 2005, but come on, this is getting ridiculous!). I have to swallow my fears and I have to push forward into the world of adoption. A baby from overseas is not going to come to me on its own! I am so scared to start the process because I'm tired of being out of control. Then again, I thought that I was the boss of my body, but we know how that has worked out.

I'm also trying not to think about turning 36 in a few weeks. I honestly thought that I would've been a mom by now. Although I'm not feeling all tired and run down anymore,  I still don't want to be OLD when I become a mother for the first time.

I've also decided that I'm done taking it easy and I am going to get back on the fitness wagon. I know that I have to ease into being fit JellyBelly, but I no longer want to be flabby! Whoever told me that one's metabolism changes after 30 was right! Mr. JB and I are going to do a workout (that I can't recall the name of) that doesn't require equipment and I'm going to step up my yoga schedule. No more easy classes for me! We're planning on going to a resort for March Break and I want to be fit for the beach!

So 2011, please be gentle with me. It's a new decade and a new start. I so want my dreams of a family to come true this year.

Please don't disappoint.

Love,
JellyBelly

p.s. I also promise to clean out the room of shame. That project totally got sidetracked. Now that I'm not suffering from adrenal fatigue I have the energy to finally do it!

I hope that bad things do not come in threes...

The drama continues...

Mr. JB promised to take me to the C.oach outlet today (which is close to his dad's house) because I didn't really like one of his presents (he got me a ring that's white gold when I clearly wear yellow, but he's a man that doesn't pay attention to that kind of stuff). I knew that there was going to be a wait outside of the store so we decided that he was going to go down the street to pick me up some St.arbucks so I could keep warm.

That's when the fun stopped.

I was waiting for Mr. JB to return (the wait wasn't so long) so I could decide between the four purses that I picked out for myself. I was getting concerned so I called him. And I was totally taken aback by his response.

"I gotta go honey. I just got into an accident."

Thankfully he's okay, but his new car is absolutely not. The damage is so bad that I can't even open the passenger door.

He was turning into traffic and he thought that the cars were stopping to let him turn into traffic. He didn't see the car coming in the other lane. Luckily they both saw one another and both slowed down as much as they could. If Mr. JB was driving just a little faster the tone of this post would be much more dire. He missed getting drilled on his driver-side door by about 15 seconds.

Mr. JB is okay, but understandably shaken up. He feels stupid and embarrassed that he assumed that the cars were letting him into traffic -- I know, what a crazy thing!

We're lucky that most of the damage is on our car and the other guy has car repair connections. The other guy was quite nice and didn't seem too concerned about the damage on his van. We're going to call our insurance agent in the morning to see what we need to do. We thought, at first, that we could settle the damages outside of our insurance, but there is no way that the repair is going to cost less than $1000.

I can't wait to see what happens to our premiums!

I know that it could be worse. I could be sitting in a hospital room with my injured husband (with no C.oach purse!). When I got into my only car accident about ten years ago I was in rehab for two years and my back has never been the same. I am so glad that Mr. JB doesn't have to deal with that.

I know that he's been distracted because of all the family drama -- which has subsided somewhat. His dad has calmed quite a bit, but we are now quite worried about his brother. We know that all of his worries, real and imagined (particularly about our marriage) stem from his loneliness. We took it for granted that this stay in Italy was just like all the other stints overseas. He was very lucky when he was living in Montreal because he had made very good friends, particularly with one family that "adopted" him. Now that he's back in Rome he's back to living a solitary life.

My theory is that he wasn't prepared for the solitude that was waiting for him.

Mr. JB is still quite upset at his brother and I'm not quite sure what's going to happen when the daily S.kype between my BIL and FIL happens in the morning. I know that Mr. JB is not ready to talk to his brother, and now the stress of having to deal with repairing his car, he's had enough. My husband has a very low tolerance for stress and I know that he's at his limit.

So 2010 had to go out with a bang.

Please say a prayer that all of this drama, car and family, subsides soon.

p.s. Mr. JB's cousin's baby (yes, the one of the scandalous wedding) was born yesterday. A little girl. Let's just say I'm a bit envious.

p.p.s. My eye doctor has cleared me for driving and I can't believe how much better my vision is getting. The doctor mentioned that at my next appointment two weeks from now that he'll check to see if I need a little prescription. I doubt it since my eyes are clearer than they were WITH glasses!

It wouldn't be Christmas without any drama....

Mr. JB and I are celebrating our annual "Wear PJ's all day and do nothing" day. Since we got married we always designate one day from our Christmas vacation to just being lazy since we are always so busy over the holidays.

My eyes are doing much better, but the later the day gets, the blurrier my vision is. I haven't used any moisturizing drops today which is a big improvement. We have a humidifier going so our house air isn't dry, which is a help. I've noticed that at my fertile bf's house my eyes are much drier since they don't have a humidifier. It doesn't help that it's been so cold up here and the furnace is running all the time. Judging from my recovery since the 20th, I'll be in teaching condition come the 3rd.

So we've had a bit of drama here at the JellyBelly household.

On Christmas Day we headed over to my aunt and uncle's house. Mr. JB's brother is in Italy so he brought his dad with us. It was great to not have to divide our time between two locations and I also woke up in my own bed (last year was the first time I got to wake up in my own bed on Christmas morning!).

I'm the eldest girl granddaughter on my mom's side and I have a really close relationship with my cousins, particularly the other girls. My youngest cousin K, was playing with our cousin NR's i.Touch while we were hanging out after opening our gifts. K loves to play with my i.Phone (I don't believe that she's allowed to have her own cell phone) and she found NR's "notes." K has written me notes on my phone a few times just to play around (she's 13, what can you expect?). She opened up a note that NR wrote called "Sh*t I have to buy." She thought that it was funny until she read the list.

The list started with a bunch of normal stuff like deodorant and batteries. When K got to the last list item, she showed me the i.Touch.

NR had condoms as her last item.

I started to interrogate K when she showed the list to me. At first I was convinced that she had written it herself and was showing me to get a rise out of me. I asked K to look at me in the eye and I knew that she had nothing to do with it. NR had written it herself.

Ouch.

We whispered to the other female cousin, V, who is in her early 20's about the note. She was as shocked as we were. V and NR spend quite a bit of time together so I asked her to talk to her about what we saw. There is no way that I can talk to her without losing my mind. I'm also so much older that she sees me in the same light as her mom and our other aunts. I think that coming from her cooler cousin that the interrogation will be taken better.

V and I were texting back and forth today and she said that she already has a plan in place and that she will definitely talk to NR on New Year's Eve. NR is only 15 and I worry so much that she is sexually active. She's been having problems in school and she is a bit overweight. I gave her a tough time in the fall because she wasn't asking me for help with school. She almost failed grade nine geography and didn't ask either Mr. JB or myself to help her out. Her parents are also living way above their means and they aren't home because they're always working.

Could you please say a prayer for NR if you get the chance? I really hope that she isn't doing that she shouldn't be. I wasn't interested in sex at all at 15, but my parents watched me like a hawk and I had very strict rules to follow. My aunt and uncle are very easy-going parents and I'm so worried that they are going to be grandparents sooner, rather than later.

On to drama number two.

So Mr. JB's dad stayed with us for a few days, like I mentioned earlier. He went home yesterday morning because there was a birthday party that he was going to attend. We had a function at our parish that we help out at, so we stayed in town. This morning there was a message on our voice mail from Mr. JB's dad so Mr. JB called him back.

What happened afterward came totally out of left field.

Mr. JB's dad said that he was really upset because we weren't thankful enough for our Christmas presents. He gave a cheque to go towards a new washer and dryer (my parents contributed as well). Mr. JB opened up the card and I know that we both said thank you, but perhaps it got lost in the shuffle of opening up all of our gifts. We have noticed this Mr. JB's dad has had issues with hearing in the past year and we've both been urging him to get it checked.

Then my FIL starting accusing us of forgetting to send Mr. JB's brother a card for Christmas -- which we didn't do, but it was just an oversight on our part. We spoke to my BIL via S.kype on Christmas Eve, Christmas and Boxing Day and it wasn't even mentioned. He did send us little gifts, but when he's away we do not normally send gifts. I know that cards are a big deal for Mr. JB's family (it isn't in mine) so I know that his feelings were hurt.

My Mr. JB is very generous to his brother and I do have to say that I was shocked that it was even mentioned.

We both figured that my FIL was being nit-picky and that the stress of having his girlfriend so sick (she was put in a home almost a year ago) and a few close family friends passing away in the recent past, have taken a toll on him. He's lived alone for a long time, but he hasn't been without a companion in over 15 years. But we were wrong.

Mr. JB sent a long e-mail to his brother, who is currently vacationing in Venice, and the response we got was even more shocking.

My BIL wrote at length about how hurt he was about not receiving a Christmas card. Then he went on say that he was worried about the state of our marriage. He said that Mr. JB was doing most of the work and that I was making all of the decisions. He said that that he was worried about the future of our marriage and that we both had to do an examination of consciousness -- since we flit about like chickens without heads (we're busy people, both with full-time jobs and many volunteer commitments, sue us).

Whoa.

Mr. JB and are just shocked. Fine be hurt about the card, but the last thing he needs to worry about is our marriage. I do admit that Mr. JB does most of the cooking, but that's because he comes home earlier than I do. He is also very territorial about "his" kitchen. With my new grade change and the other commitments I have outside of the home, Mr. JB does do more of the day to day stuff around our house, and I do finances and that kind of stuff.

Our IF has brought us closer together and we talk about EVERYTHING. There isn't an issue that I can think of that we don't discuss -- which I'm sure is true for so many of you our there. Mr. JB and I are the type that don't have a censor. What comes to mind, comes out of our mouths. It's one of the biggest reasons why our marriage is so strong.

It really bothers me when I'm accused of "hen-pecking" my husband, something which he thoroughly disagrees with. Mr. JB doesn't like to make big decisions and I do. We do talk about the state of affairs on a constant basis, but Mr. JB does not like paying bills or thinking about our investments.

I hate seeing Mr. JB so upset. He doesn't deal well with strife, particularly with his brother. His stomach has been upset and he's been withdrawn all day. I'm used to dealing with the dramatics of my family, particularly my parents. I can brush off altercations with my parents, just because I have more practice -- ha ha.

I'm thinking that Mr. JB and I are the victims of two people that spend too much time alone with their thoughts. I hope and pray that this is something that is worked out soon because I can't stand the drama!

I hope that all of you are having a great fourth day of Christmas -- hopefully drama free!

Merry Christmas Eve & Advent Prayer Buddy Reveal

It's been a tougher week than anticipated.

I had my laser eye surgery (selective PRK for those of you who want the particulars) at about 10am on Monday and the recovery has been more difficult and shower than I thought it was going to be. I was told by so many people, "You'll be driving by Christmas Eve!" Alas, it is Christmas Eve and I'm struggling to see the computer screen.

I was very happy that they gave me A.tivan at the laser eye clinic because I could barely keep my eyes open in the light. I slept most of Tuesday as well. I was feeling pretty good Wednesday and I totally overdid it. My eye doctor (who is doing all of my aftercare) said that I could watch a bit of TV, but I also snuck in some time with my i.Phone. The bandage contact lenses were removed yesterday and I was feeling the pain. Our cleaning lady was at set to come to our house so I ended up taking another A.tivan and sleeping in my best friend's daughter's bed.

When I woke up this morning I was feeling really good. The vision in my left eye is really good and my right eye is lagging behind (my prescription was slightly higher in my right, I have no idea if that's related or not). As the day goes on my eyes are feeling dryer and my vision is getting blurrier. We're ushering at midnight mass so it will definitely be interesting! I was joking to Mr. JB that we should've bought stock in the company that makes the lubricating drops!

I see my optomitrist on the 29th and he expects that my vision will be that much better. I have to wait for my corneal epithelium to heal in order for my vision to be 20/20. I should be all set to drive myself to school on the 3rd!

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Advent Prayer Buddy Reveal:

I've been busting to let everyone know who I had to pray for! When I got the e-mail from Joy Behind the Cross (thanks to you TCIE and Sew for organizing again!) I yelped for joy! I was shopping at the time so I had to contain myself before people started to think that I was losing my mind.

I'm sure that it was coincidence that my prayer buddy was someone that prayed for me in the summer (it was coincidence, right girls????). My prayer buddy this Advent was the lovely Leila at the Little Catholic Bubble!!!!

Leila, my friend, you were the recipient of many, many prayers this past week. I offered up my eye pain (and there was quite a bit this week!) for her intentions and you also got some extra special Hail Marys when I was feeling anxious before my procedure. I prayed the Novena to Overcome Fear (that she sent me in the summer!), the Our Lady of Guadalupe and St. Andrew novenas for her intentions as well as my daily rosaries.

Leila e-mailed me a couple of weeks ago to tell me that she prayed for me while holding a relic of St. Gerard. It took all of my being to keep from telling her that I was praying for her too!

So there you are my Advent Prayer Buddy. Continue to fight the good fight on your blog -- I love that you make us think with your posts! I admire the love and commitment you have to our faith and your gorgeous family. It was an honour to pray for our "den mother" and I will continue to do so!

Merry Christmas, my wonderful friend.

p.s. I apologize for any mistakes. I'm typing with one good eye!

Goodbye glasses....

So it's the night before my laser eye procedure and I am way to sick to even be nervous. Mr. JB and I have been going full tilt all week and we hosted a dinner party and attended a family Kris Kringle today (where we had to make the bulk of the meal, not the turkey, but most of the fixings. We're hosting it next year so at least I won't have to cart my kitchen around the trunk of the car! Some of my cousins are just plain lazy!).

When we got home I started to feel really chilled and when I checked my temperature it was above normal. I checked before taking a shower and it was 38.6C. I took some A.dvil so hopefully it will help break it, but I really hope that my condition is not going to make them postpone the surgery.

I figured that I would catch what was ailing Mr. JB and most of my students. I had ten kids show up on Friday and eight missed the Christmas concert -- something unheard of for grade twos! The school custodian kept on peaking into my room to count my kids. He said to me, "What are you doing to your kids?"

It was so sweet though, all of the kids, with the exception of one, came by to drop off a present for me. Their moms said that they wanted to see me before the Christmas break. I'm so loved!

So Mr. JB takes me to the laser eye clinic for 9:15am. My mom is meeting us there and they will stay with me for the procedure. There's even a window where they can watch. My mom is going to, but Mr. JB said that he has no desire to be an observer. We'll see. I was told that it was going to take about three hours to complete all of the prep, although the actual surgery will take 45 seconds for my left eye and 50 for the other.

I was given a bunch of paperwork that I was told to read beforehand (which I did), but I have to sign at the clinic. I know that the big part is the paying part -- $4290 on our A.mex! Thank God we earn cash back on it! I printed out my claim form so Mr. JB is going to be able to mail it straightaway. Our insurance company is going to put a HUGE red flag on my file. Aside from all of the drugs they pay and this procedure, I have another $2000 claim that is getting mailed separately (for my LDN, RMT and chiropractor). I am totally taking advantage of their coverage! I hope that the company is speedy with our reimbursement so I don't have to pay interest, but I'm not holding my breath!

So please say a prayer for me tomorrow morning. I asked our parish priest and he said that St. Lucy is the patron saint of eyes (he did an excellent homily on St. Joseph today, he's the patron saint of so many things, but that's a post for another time!). I am sure that the procedure will go well. I definitely think that the 72 hours of no computer, TV or reading is going to be a killer.

Btw, it will be Peak +14 tomorrow, and no I will not POAS since that brings on AF! They will be giving me A.tivan to calm my nerves for the surgery and I did some research and long term use causes birth defects. I don't think that one dose is going to be harmful IF BY SOME HUGE FLUKE I am pg. My only symptoms are tiredness and sore boobs (Mr. JB said last week that they looked different, he couldn't elaborate, but he did comment and I'm also sick as a dog so that could be the reason why I'm pooped).  But wouldn't it be so funny if I was. Dr. Nora did say that the bleeding that I had post-Peak could've been due to implantation.

Yeah right. ;)

p.s. Mr. JB will be updating my blog and I will be on my trusty phone so I can update in the comment area.

Christmas Dervish

I fee like I haven't stopped!

Since booking my laser eye surgery I have been in serious panic mode. I've done most of my baking, wrapped most of the gifts (I ran out of wrapping paper so the rest will have to go in bags), my cards are sent and most of my treats are ready to go. I know that in the end I will be so glad to have a deadline that is well before Christmas and since I will be forced to relax, I will be able to appreciate that everything Christmas-related will be done on the 19th.

I just have to get there first.

I saw Dr. Nora yesterday and she was so happy to hear how great I'm feeling. She reduced the dosage of the herbs that I take in the afternoon and she added red clover to help boost my low estrogen. I'm going to take it for 30 days and see how it affects my levels. It can't hurt. She didn't have any new ideas about why I'm bleeding post-Peak, but one theory was implantation bleeding.

Yeah right.

I start my antibiotic drops and eyelid wipes tomorrow. I can't believe that this time next week I won't have glasses anymore! It definitely is a good distraction to IF!

I need to go to bed. I cooked up another batch of treats and I need to get them packed up so I can get some shut eye!

Apparently we're making this a monthly thing...

I woke up in the middle of the night to blood.

Again.

The funny this is that I was wearing the same pyjamas! (Thank God for O.xy Clean!)

It happened last month. The only difference was that it was Peak +4 last month and this month it's Peak +3. The only strange symptom that I had was sore boobs beforehand, and now they are not as sore.

I have no idea what is going on.

Last month the bleeding was light and lasted three days. I hope that it doesn't last that long this month. Considering my only symptom I suspect that it has to do with a drop in my hormones (something that Dr. Nora suggested). Btw, I'm going to see her on Monday, perhaps she will have other ideas. I don't see my Napro doctor until early January and I refuse to go to her walk in hours (I did that once and Mr. JB and I were there so long that we had enough time to go for dinner!).

So infertile brain trust, do any of you have any idea what the heck is going on? I'm not pleased that I'm bleeding mid-cycle, even if I'm cramp-free!!!

There is life after adrenal fatigue!

I am a machine!

I am done writing Christmas cards, I have picked the treats that I am going to make (and have a list for Mr. JB to purchase at the grocery store tomorrow) and I have chosen what I'm going to buy for Mr. JB after much internet searching.

And I haven't fallen on the ground in exhaustion.

I remember last Advent when I could barely muster the energy to put one tree up, let alone the three that I usually do! This year I have our pre-lit tree in our bedroom (yes, I have a Christmas tree in the master bedroom, there's also a little one in each bathroom!) as well as the real one in the living room. I haven't decorated our main tree, but that's on deck for tomorrow after yoga and before G.lee.

I am feeling a little bit of panic since I will be having my laser eye surgery on December 20th. I won't be able to drive until Christmas Eve, and I definitely don't want to be rushing around then! I didn't want to have my surgery over the holidays, but since I'm having P.RK and not LA.SIK, I have to be seen by a doctor for three consecutive days to see how the healing is coming along. Mr. JB is going to have to drive me around to these appointments since the recovery time is just slightly longer than L.ASIK. Although it wasn't part of my original plan, I'm glad that I will be glasses-free at Christmas! What a great present for myself!

I definitely think that the H.ydrocort and the vitamin/liquid herb regimen that I'm on is the reason why I feel so good. Mr. JB was fighting the worst illness ever (he had viral bronchitis and he even stayed home for a week!), I didn't get it AND I didn't get the flu shot (not that I could since I'm allergic to eggs). I don't know what my hormones are doing, but I feel like a new person. It is totally worth all of the money that I'm paying out of pocket!

Btw, I've totally changed my IF prayer. I have given up asking for "God's will," I'm plain asking for a baby. Really, it's the intention that I have in my heart anyway, why beat around the bush? I figure after five years I can just cut to the chase and ask. It can't hurt, right?

Christmas Decorations and Other Assorted Ramblings

Our house is starting to look like we're ready for Christmas. We got our beautiful tree (a Fraser fir, not cheap, but worth every penny!) and I've put out most of my snowman decorations out (I've been collecting since we got married and I feel so happy when I see them all over my little house). It was nice to have our Advent wreath out first, but I do have to admit that I LOVE the Christmas season something fierce!

I spent every weekend in November in yoga workshops and I'm so glad that they're finally over. I learned so much and I deepened my practice, but I'm so glad that I have more time at home, particularly since I've been busy praying my butt off for my prayer buddy! I've never said three novenas at once before, but it has really helped me focus my prayers. I've been saying my rosary right before bed (which probably isn't the best idea) and I've caught myself falling asleep mid-rosary. It's the intention that counts, right???

We attended our first Christmas party of the season last night. It was with Mr. JB's nosy family (yes, the aunt that asked why I missed the scandalous baby shower was in attendance). It was tough to smile and be happy around all of the children and the pg belly, but with a couple glasses of wine I was okay. I was pretty tired since we had "Breakfast with Santa" at my school in the morning (the kids can eat breakfast and have their photos taken with Santa, it's a big fundraiser and we made 1000 pancakes and 750 sausages!). I wish that I didn't feel so jealous whenever I see Mr. JB's cousin's wife's huge belly, but I can't help it.

Yesterday as we were getting ready to leave Mr. JB's aunt said, "JellyBelly, you need to get my son to go to mass more often!" To which I responded, "It's his wife's job to get him into heaven, I have my own husband to worry about!" I don't know if I should be flattered that she thought that I could convince a grown man and woman to go to mass every Sunday, but I don't need that responsibility. On a similar note, my fertile best friend has been a pretty regular mass attendee with her family. Her daughter is going to be making her First Communion on the spring and she's making a real effort to get to church. Even her husband, who is Anglican, is going some of the time. Mr. JB is convinced that he can get him to convert and it would be so great if he did. I joke that my bf's mom will erect a statue in his honour if my bf's husband becomes one of us!

On a positive note: I have been feeling GREAT! The new regimen from my Napro naturopath is miraculous! It wasn't cheap, but it is worth every penny to have energy and a clear head. Not only am I taking H.ydrocort, but I'm also taking more vitamin C, magnesium citrate, zinc picolinate, vitamin E, molybdenum, and B-complex. I'm also taking these liquid herbs: maca, schizondra berry, triblulus, rhodiola,  and dong quai. My focus is better and my energy level is what it used to be pre-surgery. Emotionally I'm feeling so much more balanced. I didn't have the emotional crash that I usually suffer when AF arrived and I feel more patient, particularly with my class.

I really hope that all of these efforts are going to help with my hormone levels! The liquid herbs aside from being very costly, are not exactly tasty!

I apologize for the disjointed ideas in this post. I feel like I don't have a lot to say, but obviously there was something going on in my brain!