So it hit me last week.
The reason why I've been dragging my feet with regards to our homestudy.
We found a social worker that we want to work with.
She answered our questions promptly.
Mr. JB is ready to go.
And then, I stopped in my tracks.
Then while sitting at my desk at work, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I have too many IF issues that I haven't dealt with. There is too much pain and disappointment that I've carried around these past seven years -- yes, even resetting one's TTC clock to zero last year didn't help. I didn't get amnesia, nor did all the hurt disappear.
I wished that it could have, but it didn't.
I need to fix myself before we can move on. I don't want a child (or children) to come into our home with a broken mother.
My appointment is on December 3rd.
Not a day too soon.