I didn't want to break my blog silence to whine.
But I'm going to.
I have been struggling with my feelings of joy, coupled with green-eyed jealousy in the past couple of days. There has been a wealth of good news as of late. News of BFP's and births have rocked the balance of my infertile world.
I even had a passing thought last week that I was dealing well with my barren state.
Alas, I was wrong.
Advent is a tough time. While I was listening to the homily on Sunday I was reminded about the wait.
The excruciating long wait.
I wish that I didn't feel so envious. I wish that I didn't feel so left behind (yes, it is hard to be atomically lapped -- those of you that understand this terminology, I welcome the sympathy). Patience is something that I am so done with!
So Advent Prayer Buddy, you've got your work cut out for you. I'm trying really hard not to be the Debbie Downer of the IF world, but despite the smile on my face, my heart is aching on the inside.
I'm so tired of waiting.
When will it be my turn?
p.s. The lovely lady that is on the receiving end of my prayers is going to get a ton! At least my misery is being fruitful in one way!
p. p. s. It is CD8 on my Fe.mara-free cycle. My cramps were pretty much non-existent. I love being (semi) drug-free!