5 October 2010

When it rains, it pours

How fitting for a rainy day. Have I mentioned how much I cannot stand rainy days as a teacher? Cooping up 19 seven year olds all day in a classroom was tough, particularly since I needed some quiet time today, but I couldn't find any.

I'm sure that my hormones (it's CD16) are playing a part in my horrible mood, or maybe not. I like to blame my hormones for so many things.

When I woke up this morning I checked my blog comments and I had "anonymous" commenter saying that she found something offensive about my opinion regarding my friend's sister having IVF. I don't want to start a debate on my blog, I don't have the time nor the inclination to start one. But I am not going to apologize to have the point of view that I have seeing that I am a ROMAN CATHOLIC INFERTILITY BLOGGER. I'd like to believe that the people that are attracted to my blog are reading because they appreciate and understand my point of view. I have never pretended to be anything but a ROMAN CATHOLIC INFERTILITY BLOGGER. I am a Catholic school teacher, so is my husband and my brother-in-law is a Jesuit priest. If you don't want to read what I write and if you find it offensive, please go elsewhere.

So there.

I'm not even going to start about my friend who is trying to get pregnant before her wedding. I've blogged enough about scandalous weddings in the past few months. This one is just beyond my comprehension.

My teaching partner made a snide comment about my delegating to her. I know that I have griped about her lack of initiative, but I cannot believe that she would say something about me giving her things to do. If I didn't she would do nothing. When we were planning Monday afternoon she said that she would make a title page for the kids to colour for today and it wasn't done. I had to scramble for something to do because I didn't have what we had planned.

I am more than willing to mentor her. I know that I have many more years of experience than she does, but she is giving me very little to work with. I am so angry and disappointed by the tone of what she said to our colleague and I need to put out this fire ASAP. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow and hopefully she will understand my frustration. I am so tired of carrying the grade two curriculum on my back since she is a certified teacher as well. It would be one thing if she was a high school co-op student or a student teacher, but she is getting paid very good money to use my ideas!

If things don't get better I am going to have to talk to my principal. We have a very good relationship and I am not a complainer, but I am so concerned for the students in her class!

Lastly, I had a little altercation with one of my friends at yoga this evening. Remember my friend K? The one that is in love with one of our gay friends? Well we have plans to see Ea.t, P.ray, L.ove on Friday and she snapped at me because I didn't know what time the movie is going to be playing. The listings on the Internet and in the paper only have the movie listings until Thursday. There are a few of us that have wanted to see the movie since it came out in August (not surprising for a bunch of friends that practice yoga) and we've put it off because K has been having some family issues.

I told K, very calmly, that we could meet at a coffee place close to the theatre and if the movie isn't playing then we could just hang out there, and if the movie is playing then we could go see it. The solution was pretty simple in my opinion, but it wasn't good enough for her. I understand that she has issues, too many to list here, but her reaction took me totally off guard, particularly when she told us to plan to see the movie without her and she would see if she could make it.


I wish that I didn't take all of this stress to heart, but I do. My Napro doc and my wonderful husband both tell me all the time that I need to relax. I did go to a Restorative yoga class tonight, rather than do a more vigorous class to see if I could calm down, but as soon as I got home I totally lost it again.

I try so hard to not let my IF issues effect my life, particularly my job. If I let all of the issues about my health and my barrenness loose on the people around me there would be a maelstrom of negative emotions surrounding me.

But I don't let it.

Perhaps it isn't the healthiest thing to do, but I do put my IF in a box when I'm out in the world because I'm so tired of letting it consume me. I'm so glad that I have my corner of the Internet to purge my thoughts, but when I feel attacked (like this morning by "anonymous") it's hard to ignore.

Does it sound like I need therapy? Or a lobotomy? Or am I just in need of a long bath and a glass of wine? Opinions anyone?


  1. I almost responded to that anonymous commenter, but thought twice about it - not wanting to start another huge debate. I mean seriously, is there something in the water??? Why do people feel the need to come to your blog and tell you they are offended by what you are saying?? If I did that all the time I felt offended by what I read on other people's fa.cebook pages and blogs, etc, I would be a very busy woman. But instead I choose to spend my time STAYING AWAY FROM the places where I get offended.

    Good for you for standing up for who you are and not making apologies.

  2. I agree wholeheartedly with TCIE. Also, good for you for getting things straight with your co-teacher. That is so awful, and I fear for her future classes, too!

    As for advice? Just have mercy on those who annoy you. It will take the edge off.

  3. Hoping things get better soon for you!

  4. I love reading your blog! I love that it's a different perspective then mine ( your catholic and I'm an ex-catholic). Plus you have been super super supportive to me in the past(ESP regarding ivf- which we had to do in order to have a family). Not starting a war on your blog, just standing up in your defence, as a lady who knows you, I know that your a kind nonjudgemental friend.

    Ps I always vote for wine!

  5. I just have to say I love Leila's comment (and your blog post was great too)...especially the part about "taking the edge off". Another reason I love this blogger group!!!

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  7. Hope you feel better, this infertility path is never easy to go thorough.
    I think wine is the best! and don't forget chocolate!

  8. Too much stuff going on lately that is such a downer! :( I second others re: chocolate, wine, etc lol!

  9. glass of wine, long bubble bath, and yoga without your friend so you can relax, isn't that the whole point of yoga anyway?? And boo to the anonymous commenter, ignore, ignore, and erase...

  10. Ugh. That commenter was ridiculous... You are totally right that you shouldn't have to apologize for being who you are.
    As for your teaching partner, I don't blame you for being annoyed AT ALL. There is a clear difference between you helping her get a feel for things and then her depending on you for all of her lessons. I can't believe she isn't busting her butt to do a good job and trying to impress you!
    And it sounds like your friend K is being really petty. :( I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
    I think a glass of wine, a bubble bath, and chocolate all at the same time sounds like the perfect recipe! :)

  11. Bath. Chocolate. That's my opinion.

    I do have to make one comment about your friend ttc pre-wedding, and that's that I think she HAS had a lobotomy. Let's pretend that there's no moral reason to avoid sex outside wedlock and no stigma to illegitimate births, and it just doesn't matter at all under what circumstances a child is conceived. Totally irrelevant.


    I am baffled. Also, the commenter - probably wandered into the wrong blogosphere by mistake, do you think? Nice to meet you, anonymous, but if that offended you, you have no idea what you're in for...

  12. I vote bath with wine and chocolate! I totally missed the crazy commenter (actually missed the whole post)... what is SMC? Yay for you taking a stand to all of it. Keep being good to yourself and try not to worry what others think especially anonymous people. ;o) Praying for you!

  13. LA: SMC = single mother by choice

    I really don't think she's my target audience.

  14. I just want to say "You go girl!" I agree no reason to start another huge debate, if you disagree, or are too offended, don't read the blog! duh!

  15. I think the glass of wine sounds like a very good idea and you have motivated me to go to a wine store! Sometimes I forgot to reach for the pleasures of life...Your comment about putting IF in a box when you are out in the world...so true.

    Love your blog!

  16. Hey, can I ask your opinion on something? I need some advice!!

    I made the mistake of going to see a fertility specialist and NOT back to my Napro doctor. I've had two visits with the fertility specialist, he did blood work, saw that my estrogen and progesterone are low, heard my complaints about headaches, and he has done NOTHING for me. Zero. Zip. He made a big deal about how he wanted blood work done on me, but still hasn't prescribed anything for me. Meanwhile I'm still suffering with headaches! He also tried to convince me to try donor eggs claiming he is "doing God's work". I told him "No."

    He also did an ultrasound and discovered I have three small fibroids and an endometrioma. He told me I don't need surgery though because he thinks I will be going through menopause soon which will shrink everything.

    I have the feeling I need to dump this guy and go back and see my Napro. I feel sad and discouraged like nobody can help me or do anything for me.

    I really wish the Napro doctor could help me get pregnant. I am despairing of never being able to be a Mother. If only I could get rid of this headaches!!

    My email is: prayrosary4life@aol.com

    Do you think I ought to dump the fertility specialist? And go back to the napro doctor? That's what I'm thinking!

    Thinking of you and praying for you and your family!

    May God Bless you!!


  17. I finally got a chance to get back here to see what SMC was... I have no idea why a bunch of SMC's would be reading any of our blogs. Too strange that she thought that many of your readers were. Oh well, I'll pray for her. Of course I'm praying for you too! I hope that you're having a better week!