How fitting for a rainy day. Have I mentioned how much I cannot stand rainy days as a teacher? Cooping up 19 seven year olds all day in a classroom was tough, particularly since I needed some quiet time today, but I couldn't find any.
I'm sure that my hormones (it's CD16) are playing a part in my horrible mood, or maybe not. I like to blame my hormones for so many things.
When I woke up this morning I checked my blog comments and I had "anonymous" commenter saying that she found something offensive about my opinion regarding my friend's sister having IVF. I don't want to start a debate on my blog, I don't have the time nor the inclination to start one. But I am not going to apologize to have the point of view that I have seeing that I am a ROMAN CATHOLIC INFERTILITY BLOGGER. I'd like to believe that the people that are attracted to my blog are reading because they appreciate and understand my point of view. I have never pretended to be anything but a ROMAN CATHOLIC INFERTILITY BLOGGER. I am a Catholic school teacher, so is my husband and my brother-in-law is a Jesuit priest. If you don't want to read what I write and if you find it offensive, please go elsewhere.
I'm not even going to start about my friend who is trying to get pregnant before her wedding. I've blogged enough about scandalous weddings in the past few months. This one is just beyond my comprehension.
My teaching partner made a snide comment about my delegating to her. I know that I have griped about her lack of initiative, but I cannot believe that she would say something about me giving her things to do. If I didn't she would do nothing. When we were planning Monday afternoon she said that she would make a title page for the kids to colour for today and it wasn't done. I had to scramble for something to do because I didn't have what we had planned.
I am more than willing to mentor her. I know that I have many more years of experience than she does, but she is giving me very little to work with. I am so angry and disappointed by the tone of what she said to our colleague and I need to put out this fire ASAP. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow and hopefully she will understand my frustration. I am so tired of carrying the grade two curriculum on my back since she is a certified teacher as well. It would be one thing if she was a high school co-op student or a student teacher, but she is getting paid very good money to use my ideas!
If things don't get better I am going to have to talk to my principal. We have a very good relationship and I am not a complainer, but I am so concerned for the students in her class!
Lastly, I had a little altercation with one of my friends at yoga this evening. Remember my friend K? The one that is in love with one of our gay friends? Well we have plans to see Ea.t, P.ray, L.ove on Friday and she snapped at me because I didn't know what time the movie is going to be playing. The listings on the Internet and in the paper only have the movie listings until Thursday. There are a few of us that have wanted to see the movie since it came out in August (not surprising for a bunch of friends that practice yoga) and we've put it off because K has been having some family issues.
I told K, very calmly, that we could meet at a coffee place close to the theatre and if the movie isn't playing then we could just hang out there, and if the movie is playing then we could go see it. The solution was pretty simple in my opinion, but it wasn't good enough for her. I understand that she has issues, too many to list here, but her reaction took me totally off guard, particularly when she told us to plan to see the movie without her and she would see if she could make it.
I wish that I didn't take all of this stress to heart, but I do. My Napro doc and my wonderful husband both tell me all the time that I need to relax. I did go to a Restorative yoga class tonight, rather than do a more vigorous class to see if I could calm down, but as soon as I got home I totally lost it again.
I try so hard to not let my IF issues effect my life, particularly my job. If I let all of the issues about my health and my barrenness loose on the people around me there would be a maelstrom of negative emotions surrounding me.
But I don't let it.
Perhaps it isn't the healthiest thing to do, but I do put my IF in a box when I'm out in the world because I'm so tired of letting it consume me. I'm so glad that I have my corner of the Internet to purge my thoughts, but when I feel attacked (like this morning by "anonymous") it's hard to ignore.
Does it sound like I need therapy? Or a lobotomy? Or am I just in need of a long bath and a glass of wine? Opinions anyone?