12 November 2008

Now what???

In the hopes of my lady parts behaving as they should (i.e. no more two week-long periods and endless days of brown bleeding) I assumed (wrongly) that things were going better. Since I started the HCG injections in August my cycles have gone from being 24 days to 30 days long. And since September my periods have been relatively shorter. I'm on CD 11 today and I thought (based on the patterns from previous cycles) that I had bid adieu to Aunt Flo.

Alas, I was proven wrong yet again.

This is what my chart looks like (red stickers abound):
November 2nd: M/H
3rd: H
4th: H
5th: M
6th: M/L
7th: L
8th: VL
9th: B x 1, OAD
10th: B X 2, OAD
11th: VL X 2 (I also noted pink since I didn't see red at all that day), OAD
12th: L (well it isn't the end of the day, but that's what I'm going to put before I go to bed)

Now, am I going backwards???? The last three cycles ended with very little brown spotting and then a couple of dry days. The pattern of having bizarro bleeding was common before the HCG injections and the Low Dose Naltrexone, but now I'm am completely and utterly confused.

I'm assuming that there is yet one more thing wrong with my ladyparts -- be it some other infection, disorder, maybe even endo? I have no idea. My Napro doctor suggested that if I don't get pregnant in the next couple of months that she wants to do some laproscopic surgery to see what's going on. I was very, very hesitant the last time I saw her, but now I'm thinking that I should push for it.

Honestly, I'm feeling at the end of my rope. I'm stressed out because of report cards and my crazy students (yes, the full moon makes children even nuttier!), and my teaching partner is getting more annoying by the day. I've had interruption upon interruption that what teaching I have left before I write my reports is completely disjointed and I'm sure doesn't make sense.

I'm almost sure now that with this bizarre bleeding that we aren't going to conceive, yet again.

Any advice my fellow bloggers? Or could the strange bleeding be due to stress?


p.s. I learned yesterday that a colleague of mine suffered a miscarriage earlier this week (it was her third). Since I am new to my school I don't know anyone very well, I was thinking of putting a note in her mailbox telling her that, although I've never had a miscarriage, that I've been struggling with IF for a long time. My new staff is quite a bit older (there are at least six teachers that are close to retiring) and there are only four of us that are considered "young" teachers. My heart absolutely aches for her, but I just can't imagine striking up a conversation out of the blue. Am I overstepping my boundaries by leaving her a note?


  1. I have had two laparoscopies, and they are not bad - I think you should go for it! It's the only way they can really diagnose endo and see what is going on.

    And I think it would be nice to leave her a note - she might need someone to talk to and think that no one would understand.

  2. Laps aren't that bad, Beth's right. If it will make you feel more informed and your doc thinks it might give you a better idea what's up, it's worth a shot.

    Also, ask if you can do a hysteroscopy at the same time, since you'll have to be under anyway. Polyps and other uterine oddness can cause the most bizarre, mind-twisting bleeding, as my history suggests. And once they were gone, no more oddball stuff.

    A note might be a good, low-key way of reaching out, so she doesn't have to respond if she's not ready. You're a real sweetheart to think of her.

    Again, it just sucks to feel like things are getting better, then they go all strange again. You're going to figure this out, JB, I'm sure of it!

  3. I'm agreeing on the lap since it is the only way of seeing what is really going on, and considering the drugs you are taking, you shouldn't have these issues.

    And get the insides checked out as well with the hysteroscopy. Polyps and fibroids are so easy to deal with but if you don't find them---you might keep bleeding even if you wanted to give up and adopt.

    Really, this is about being happy with your life your body and not just with getting a baby.

    As for the note, yes leave it for her, and write in a link to things like the Babyloss directory or Mel's site. She might get some help online. As you know, it's very helpful. ;)

  4. Oh, hon. What an awful conundrum and it totally sucks that you have to deal with it on top of everything else.

    I, too, had lap but it was to clear out my tubes. I did have the doctor use that opportunity to also poke around to see if there was any endo, as I was diagnosed (wrongly, it seems) as having said disorder when I was 18. It was definitely worth it for me.

    As a surgery, it was easier than my egg retrieval. Really.

    And, I think it is wonderful that you want to reach out to the teacher who had a miscarriage. I don't think a note is out of bounds at all. If I was her, I would really appreciate that.

  5. I think your note idea is sooooo sweet and caring of you. Not overstepping bounds in the least.

    Just to warn you, though... I had a "friend" (I was more friends with her DH, but I knew her, anyway) that also suffered 3 m/cs. The 3rd one was at 10 wks, so they had already told everyone right away, since they passed the 6wk mark where they lost the other 2. I shared with both of them the fact that I could "empathize" (even gave her info on NaPro), but it ended up only making me upset to hear her talk about her losses. I think it inherently bothered me that she had been pg 3 times in less than 1 yr. I know, I'm an aweful person. But I just wanted to warn you to guard your emotions on this one- - but it does sound like a great idea to me to reach out to her.