In preparation for our first March Break trip to somewhere where it isn't cold, I got a pedicure today. Since I look at my feel a lot during yoga I knew that my tootsies needed some loving before I could even dream of putting on a pair of flip flops. My spa of choice is absolutely wonderful. I sat in the hot tub, used the yummy smelling lotions and sat in the most comfortable chair while waiting for my treatment. All of my school-related stress melted away.
As I sat in the whirlpool chair (would it be indulgent to get one for my living room???) and I had the massage settings doing wonders for my sore back, and my aesthetician chatted happily to me (a little loud for the spa-atmosphere, but friendly nonetheless). We made mindless small-talk about our jobs, husbands and vacations. And then we moved onto doctors.
I know that she couldn't possibly know that I had been struggling with infertility for over two and a half years. She couldn't possibly know that I was having serious doubts about my worthiness to be a mother. And she couldn't possibly know that her next comment was going to send my happy pampering-ness plummeting to the ground.
"Yeah, my doctor prescribed me Percocet for my endometriosis... I was never supposed to get pregnant, but I just did!"
I know that she is probably a very nice person and probably a very good mother, but I couldn't help but scream in my head:
"Doctors cannot find a reason for why I haven't gotten pregnant! I have had a battery of tests and everything is clear -- uterus, ovaries, tubes!!!! What is going on here???? She wasn't even trying to get pregnant!!!! ARGH!!!!!"
Well, at least I have really pretty feet that are sandal-ready. I can't wait to get on that plane, hopefully there isn't any IF in Arizona...