Slogging Through

I'm having a tough morning.

The visitation last night was tough. Not only did Mr. JB's cousin's husband NOT look like himself AT ALL in the coffin, but it was an incredibly tearful event. It was the first night of visitation so there weren't too many people so we got to visit with the family that was there and it was hard not to get emotional. 

The one thing that keeps resonating in my mind is Mr. JB's cousin saying, "I wish that God would stop picking on my family."

It's easy to sympathize with her. Not only did her husband suddenly drop dead (he was doing some work around their new house and he went to lie down, he fell off of the couch and she tried to revive him with CPR, he pretty much died on the spot), but she has suffered with cancer for a few years (it was pretty shocking to see her, part of her jaw had to be removed and her face doesn't look the same at all). Thankfully her sister is now in remission (from the scar I could tell she had thyroid cancer), but her sister-in-law has cancer as well. Did I mention that her grandfather dropped dead at 55? 

Another thing that I can't get out of my head is their son. He looked completely lost last night. Before the visitation started they let little S see his dad and he screamed and wailed so loudly that they had to shut the doors to the room. I can't even imagine what kind of grief that he's going through.

I know that time will help heal this family and that there are many people praying for them (I'm also secretly hoping that this even will bring them back to the church, but I'm not counting on it). 

Perhaps I'm just tired and hormonal (or lacking hormones!). It was quite a bit of driving last night after a long day of teaching. By the time we got home it was 10:30pm and I'm usually already in bed at that time! I had to drag myself out of bed at 6:50am!

In cycle news: I started the triple dose of F.emara. Hopefully with the proper dose of HCG we'll have a much better cycle 6. I'm sure that Dr. T is going to be quite surprised when she sees that my hormones were so low this cycle! Without the HCG my luteal phase was only 12 days long! With HCG it's usually 15! 

I better get back to work. Hopefully keeping busy will take my mind off of all this sadness.