5 February 2012

Reining in the beast

That is me.

I admit that I am an emotional person.

But not this emotional.

I have consumed an insane amount of chocolate, had a lot of alone time AND even booked a day at the spa (February 18th cannot come faster!) and I still feel like I am losing my mind.

I know that last week's soul crushing arrival of AF has influenced my horrible mood, but it was our first cycle back on the TTC train. I was able to deal with all of the failed cycles with much more sanity.

I feel so angry, and it isn't the normal "I have been barren for over six years" anger. It's different.

I hope that my Napro doctor calls in the near future with a change in my T3 dosage.

Or that the men in the white coats come to take me away.

At this point I would really prefer the latter.

23 comments:

  1. I have a little padded room in my house that I use often. It comes in pretty handy. Even has some Chocolate in it. You are welcome here anytime. :)

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  2. Prayers that your dr gets your meds straightened out soon. And for peace in the meantime.
    ((Hugs)))

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  3. I'm so sorry JB! Prayers and hugs hun.

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  4. All those meds make all of crazy, it is not just you!! Prayers abound!!!

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  5. Hopefully it's hormone/medication induced! Hope you feel better soon!

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  6. Praying for you, dear friend!! Wish so bad I could give you a hug.

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  7. ditto to what they all have written!

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  8. Sounds like it's the T3 to me. Praying for you! Can you get into a massage somewhere before the 18th?! That's a long time to wait. We have these places here called massage envy, and you can just walk right in and get a massage. Sometimes you need an appointment, but you usually can get one for that day.

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  9. Between your difficult class and being back to trying again after all these months, I'm not surprised that you feel like tearing the walls down.

    My solution is to throw yourself into something else, yes, keep trying, keep tracking and all that Jazz that you need to do, but also pick something else, anything else (an advanced yoga class, couch to 5K program, a third language). Something, anything constructive.

    Not that relaxing will make anyone pregnant, but, getting really into a hobby will save your sanity!

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  10. I know that anger. It is NO FUN.

    Praying for you, and wishing I could be there physically.

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  11. I think it's a combination of factors...IF, T3, and your ridiculously monstrous class. If it helps any, I found the post-surgery cycles to be more difficult, I think probably b/c my hopes were higher.

    I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and I wish I could change it with a snap of my fingers! Please know you are always in my prayers. I know what a strong person you are, and I know you are tough enough to outlast this crappy time. And I say, have all the chocolate, spa days, and alone time you need. You more than deserve it. Love you bunches.

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  12. I've been thinking about you and offering prayers. Sigh - I just want to wave a magic wand and make it better!

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  13. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Chocolate is always a good cure all for bad moods. I love chocolate.

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  14. Praying for you JB. Wonky meds and CD1 are not a good combo. May God shower you with peace and healing.

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  15. I used to feel that way a lot. I hope this feeling will be a thing of the past for you soon!!

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  16. I wish I could say I don't know what you mean. But I do. I tend to be most tempted to see everyone I encounter eaten by rabid wolves, but a padded cell would actually be good too, I suppose.

    I know they're telling all the kids these days that "it gets better." I hope that's true for us.

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  17. GRRRRR////You guys handle things and you Jelly Belly...you are a teacher of little ones///so much better than I could/did ever.

    All I can say is I admire you.

    But, if you feel like going crazy...and want to do so in another country...you are always welcome here and we wouldn't mind a bit whatever you needed to do to vent...

    Vent away!!!

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  18. I say add more chocolate. Are the men in white coats all your masseuses? Because that would rock. All jokes aside - I hope that the beast is calmed and that this cycle is much, much better!

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  19. This is such a tough road, JB! I just wanted to let you know that your strength and determination have always been an inspiration to me. You are such a strong lady. I hope this cycle brings better emotions (and better results!)

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  20. Oh boy, have I ever been feeling the anger/raging beast syndrome lately too. And I don't have T3 to blame it on! :-/
    Ugh, JB - I'm so sorry you are feeling this way! You are in my prayers. Hugs!

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  21. Hugs! Why is it so hard?!?! :(

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  22. I'm sorry that T3 is driving you crazy! I hate the reactions we get when on a million different drugs.
    I know I'm late commenting, but I'm praying for you!

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