Tissues at the ready...

The perfect movie for a rainy Sunday afternoon for a woman that is so ready to adopt...

Good thing I bought a bunch of tissue at Cost.co this past week.

Home

I have blogged before about the importance of music in my life.  And this morning, the message in this song hit particularly close to home. Listen to the lyrics, they fit the adoption journey so well!

We finished our P.RIDE training yesterday and I feel so excited about this new step in our life. I have to admit that the arrival of CD1 barely crossed my emotional radar -- I haven't felt this relaxed about AF arriving since before my surgeries!

Mr. JB and I are almost certain that we are going to pursue public domestic adoption through the C.AS, something that we started talking about a few years ago, before we started down the route of my multiple surgeries.  What helped solidify our decision was a family that came to speak to us. They had undergone fertility treatments which resulted in a stillbirth, so they had decided to pursue international adoption.

Unfortunately, after all their paperwork (and most likely, a lot of money) they discovered that they wouldn't be able to continue with their adoption because the husband had suffered from cancer. Soon after their failed attempt they started the process with C.AS and within a year and a half they adopted three siblings! Two out of their three adopted children were present and they looked so happy and well-adjusted. The most heart-warming part of their story was that they miraculously became pg (yes, the "if you adopt you get pg cure to IF!").  Their older children were over the moon at the arrival of their new sister and the eldest child decided to stay home with the baby rather than speak to us -- something completely understandable!

Mr. JB and I are definitely open to sibling groups, although we don't have room for more than two children in our current home. Then again, bunk beds are always an option!

Our next step is finding a social worker to get our homestudy done. That e-mail is going to get sent tomorrow.

For the first time in a very long time my heart feels at peace. God is leading us down this path and I feel His hand steering us the entire way. 

Blessed John Paul II, pray for us!

Changing my heart...

Our first weekend of P.RIDE training went well. The first day was overwhelming, but I'm so glad that we are taking the course. From what we can guess, there is only one non-IF couple in the class with us! 

After the first day I was almost 100% certain that we were going to pursue international adoption, but yesterday there was a guest speaker that planted another seed. She said that the C.hildren's A.id Soc.iety is looking for mixed race couples, particularly Caucasian/Asian and Caucasian/Black couples. Apparently there aren't a lot of biracial couples that are looking to adopt! 

The CAS adoption is definitely attractive for one big reason: cost. There isn't one (although we decided to pay for our adoption training and most likely will be paying for our own home study -- I'm done with waiting!!). It would also help with my plan to be a stay-at-home mom AND we do have the HUGE debt we are still paying off to Omaha. 

I am definitely excited by the new options. I have felt so frustrated at the doors that seem to have been closing for us, this weekend just showed us that there are more avenues that we can pursue to become parents!

I also know that I am going to need to do some therapy before we go too far into our new journey. I haven't gotten past the anger of IF and I want to be able to work through those feelings. I knew that the time was coming, and we talked about all the feelings of loss that adoption can bring about. I am tired of carrying the weight of my sadness around. 

So there we are. I can't wait until next weekend. It definitely is a big perk being an educator since we seemed to know so many of the answers!

Shifting Focus

I apologize for my blogging absence, but I've needed to step away from computer to preserve my sanity. It also doesn't help that I am so exhausted from teaching that I can barely stay up past 9:30pm.

I also apologize for being so vague in my last post.  We sent off our application and fee for our P.RIDE training and we're doing our course this weekend and next. I have many mixed emotions about our next step, and I promise a more detailed post when I can wrap my head around everything.

So, I will leave you some musical inspiration. We've been on a Mumford and Sons kick in the JellyBelly household. It hit me the other day that I'm entering a new season of waiting, and this song just fit.