The Case of the Persistent UTI

So I am now on round two of antibiotics. My GP figures that the bacteria was resistant to the Z.ithromax and now I'm on L.evaquin (which shouldn't be taken during pregnancy, or at least there hasn't been any conclusive research on the drug and pregnancy). I mentioned to my doctor that we are actively trying and that I'm just six days past ovulation so she wouldn't be able to check whether or not I'm pg. She wanted to take a urine sample, but I told her that I was on HCG injections so I didn't want to waste a false positive (I really didn't want my first positive EVER to be a fake one!).

My GP reminded me that since I've had this UTI for almost a month that she didn't want to waste time and that the benefits definitely outweigh the risks. She reminded me about kidney failure and she also didn't want me to be hospitalized while in Arizona.

I thought that it was pretty funny 'cos she was asking me if I felt different (meaning: did I feel pg?). Honestly, I wanted to sock her! Aside from wanting to eat lots of chocolate (which really isn't out of the ordinary for me!), nothing is different.

My biggest worry is that I will have an allergic reaction to these antibiotics. After my experience with the horrible reaction that I had to the medication for the pelvic abscess I am just petrified that I'm going to be sick again. I took the medication at 7pm and it's almost 8:30pm and I'm feeling okay (aside from a tiny bit of nausea).

Honestly, I am just SICK AND TIRED of my ladyparts not behaving! The UTI has given me some serious pelvic pain, not to mention the pain when I go to the bathroom. I'm almost scared to pee first thing in the morning 'cos I'm scared of the pain! I'm also so sick of having to drink bitter cranberry juice. I wasn't really a fan to begin with and now I'm forcing it down my throat at least twice a day. We were at a party on Saturday night and I had some mixed with some club soda and it didn't make it any better.

Argh.

On a brighter note: we leave for Arizona on Saturday and I can't wait! I bought some new (non-winter) pyjamas and a couple of cute tops yesterday. I am so looking forward to wearing flip flops and shorts! The weather has been super around here and today it was well above freezing (14C to be exact!) and I really can't complain. The last time we headed to AZ for March Break we got absolutely hammered with snow. I think that I can count the times Mr. JB shoveled this past winter!

I need to get ready for bed. We stayed up to watch the O.scars last night and I'm exhausted! Please say a prayer that these new antibiotics don't make me sick!

[Insert sigh of relief here]

My report cards are done.

Woohoo!!!

I hate this time of year since it makes me so grumpy to have to assign grades to the little, tiny people in my class. I would much rather write a paragraph or have a meeting with each of the parents to discuss their kid. Instead, I have to write horribly impersonal comments that are full of educational jargon that doesn't make sense.

Anyhow, the most important things is that I'M DONE! Praise Jesus! I will have to do corrections and my principal will read them and make me correct stuff, but that's the easy part.

Another reason why I'm feeling so relieved is that this time next week we'll be in Arizona! Although today was a beautiful sunny day, I still couldn't wear shorts or flip flops. I can't wait to be in the warm sunshine in the company of Mr. JB's wonderful relatives.

In cycle news, it's Peak +5 and I'm mentally preparing myself for my HCG needle. It just worked out that I won't have to travel with needles, which really worried me. The last time we were in Arizona we had just started with Napro and my period was so wonky. I really hope that this visit will be punctuated with something a little more hopeful. In other words, I really hope that AF doesn't show up! ;)

Mr GP called on Friday and I have to call tomorrow. I'm assuming that my urine sample showed that I do have a UTI. I've been feeling strange pain in my ladyparts and I can only attribute it to an infection. I really hope that it is, because I really don't want anything to be wrong!

Gotta get back to the O.scars. We've hardly seen any movies this past year since the O.lympics took up all of our movie-watching time! We did see A.vatar yesterday and Mr. JB and I think that it shouldn't get best picture. I do love to watch to see what the actresses are wearing -- oh to be a glamorous movie star!

Be careful what you wish for...

I don't usually wish for lower back pain. I've had back issues ever since I had a car accident in 2002 so I've dealt with pain for a long time. Before that I had carpal tunnel in my right wrist and shoulder issues. Needless to say, I've made my chiropractor A LOT of money!

My lower back has been been tender all day and I'm 100% certain that I have a UTI. I have no idea when my GP is going to call me with the results of my urine sample, but since she said that she sent the sample to the lab to see if it grows the same bacteria that it did the last time, I don't expect it until early next week. I've been drinking pure cranberry juice (yup, the unsweetened kind) and lots of water and it still hurts.

Argh.

On a brighter note: The superintendent of program for my school board visited my class today and she was so impressed with my class! From what I hear she's a pretty tough person to please, so we must've done a good job. Yay!

This afternoon at last recess my principal and VP mentioned that the superintendent of our family of schools was in the building. They both said that she was asking about me! How cool is that? I wrote a blurb about my rosary club at the school and she told me how happy she was that I was running it. I guess someone from the admin of my school has been saying good things about me!

I need to get to bed. Hopefully my back feels better tomorrow. :(

It's back

My bladder infection, that is.

I thought that the five day course of antibiotics was going to do the trick, but considering the pain when I pee and the lower back pain, I don't think that it did. I went to see my GP this afternoon and she had me give her a urine sample, but she wanted to see what the lab has to say. I've loaded up on some cranberry juice and I drank lots of water today, but to no avail.

My birthday party was fun, considering the circumstances. It was quieter than usual and it went well, with the exception of my friend bringing her baby two HOURS after her bedtime. She spent the entire time crying.

Yes, great fun for an infertile.

Our friends that we traveled Europe with came over early so we could have a visit before the party started. They left at little M's bedtime so they wouldn't have to deal with his crying. I wish that my other friend was that considerate. Two other friends left their kids at home with their husbands which I thought was really cool.

Mr. JB and I are still basking in the stellar hockey game win by Team Canada. It was truly a nail-biter and a fantastic game to watch. I'm so glad that we had a day off of school to write report cards 'cos we were up late watching the closing ceremonies. Since the night before was so late we both ended up falling asleep!

In cycle news it's CD15 and I'm seeing nice fertile CM. I've been eating ground flax seed to help with estrogen production and I definitely think it helped (along with the F.emara). I'm definitely feeling strange twinges in my pelvis. I keep on visualizing nice happy follicles that are nice and plump from the F.emara. Mr. JB is feeling extra positive about this cycle for some reason and he has promised to do his part for the team (tee hee).

Off to watch B.ig L.ove, who has a character that is experiencing secondary IF. Seems like us infertiles are infiltrating mass media! ;)

Cursed

On my 11th birthday the space shuttle crashed.

When the cute boy that I liked told me I said, "It's my birthday, it couldn't have."

How naive was I?

The night I celebrated my 28th birthday another space shuttle crashed. More than one friend made a comment about my birthday having some sort of power on the American space program. Honestly, every time I hear about a space shuttle launch I pray that it isn't anywhere near my birthday.

How sick is that?

So we all know what happened when I tried to celebrate my 35th at the beginning of the month. Did I mention that my neighbour shared the same birthday as me?

So this morning while I was driving home from yoga I called Mr. JB and he gave me the sad news that his uncle died. We knew that it was going to happen sooner rather than later. We visited him a month ago in the hospital and he was barely conscious because of the pain that he was in. But as soon as I heard that he passed away I thought, "My cursed birthday."

There isn't going to be a funeral. He's going to be cremated and then Mr. JB's aunt will have a memorial closer to his birthday in the spring. One of his daughters lives out west and she's been back and forth quite a few times since he was diagnosed with cancer and his other daughter is quite busy with work.

Needless to say, please pray for Mr. JB's aunt and her family. We know that he was suffering and that he is in a better place. When we visited him in the hospital Mr. JB's aunt was feeling optimistic and she even said, "He doesn't look like a man that's dying, does he?"

He didn't, at least I didn't think so then. My neighbour didn't look like he was dying either.

Oh Lord, could we get a break over here?

Mini-post

These O.lympics are killing me. I've been going to bed really late and falling asleep on the couch while watching the fancy shmancy new TV (yes, I'm in love with HD, I'll admit it).

So before the ladies' figure skating starts I figured that I'd check in with a mini-post.

1) School is crazy busy. Report cards are due on the 8th and I'm still trying to finish teaching my Science unit. Yuck.

2) I'm in love with dark chocolate with sea salt. It's been on special at the grocery store for 2 for $5.

3) I can't wait for March Break. I also need to buy travel insurance. Argh.

4) My father-in-law had his last radiation treatment today. He's feeling pretty good, thank God.

5) We're supposedly getting a bunch more snow. I want more snow, now! I'd love a day to hang out in my pj's!

6) I'm having a love affair with the chick pea too. I was having serious cravings today. As soon as I walked in the door I had some with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper. So tasty.

7) We still have the wheelchair that our neighbour died in in our garage. Apparently whoever is supposed to pick it up has been a real slacker. I haven't been in our garage since the chair was brought home, not exactly convenient.

8) My Lenten promises are going well, all except for the no candy promise. I keep on slipping 'cos of the bowl of jujubes in our family room. Gotta love the black ones!

9) I was chosen to attend a conference at the end of March. I'm so excited! I'm also applying to help re-write the new French curriculum for my province. If I get the job I will get paid $300 a day plus meals and gas! The job runs for three weeks and will help make a good dent in my kitchen renos!

10) Thank God it's Friday tomorrow.

Off to watch more sports! ;)

Seems like we've got some winter....

We finally have a snow storm on our hands. I can't believe that it's only the third time that we've had snow since the winter started and for the first time we actually have to shovel (and clear off our cars, thank God Mr. JB got me a good snow brush!).

Unfortunately our first real snow storm happened on the same night that we had our first adoption seminar. We left our house 45 minutes before the session was to start which should've been plenty of time to get there, but we still ended up being 10 minutes late. I was pretty surprised that the meeting was still going to happen since driving was pretty treacherous. Lucky for us we weren't the last people to show up and the social worker that was running the session hadn't even started.

After speaking to the social worker on the phone a couple of times I was feeling apprehensive. I know that she has to weed out the callers that aren't the best candidates for adoption as well as the crazies, but I felt discouraged after I spoke to her. Well after sitting through her presentation I feel completely different.

The social worker went over the types of children that the C.hildren's A.id Soci.ety helps, the services they provide, the adoption process and then we had a question period. It seems that the less particular we are, the greater chance we will have at adopting sooner. The children that are up for adoption are C.rown W.ards so their parents have lost their parental rights. She also said that there are sibling sets up for adoption as well as older children.

We filled out our first information sheet in order to get the adoption package and we indicated that we were interested in adopting a child from birth to age 8. Mr. JB would prefer a younger child, but I didn't want to limit our choices.

Mr. JB wants to fill in the paperwork as soon as we can since we will have quite the wait. Last year the C.AS had 38 applications and they also had 38 families waiting for adoption. They also had 9 families that were in the application process. Our first step after filling in all of the paperwork is getting the standardized P.RIDE training that one needs to adopt in Ontario, but there is a waiting list for that. We have the option of having our home study and P.RIDE training done privately, but we wouldn't have a close relationship with the social workers at C.AS and there is the cost factor (a home study would cost about $10 000 and the training about $1400).

It seems as though we're going to have a lot to do in the next little while to get this ball rolling. It feels so right for us to pursue adoption this way. I do hope that we will conceive sometime in the next year and I don't know how that will affect our chances at adoption. I was too scared to ask the social worker the question in front of the other people in the session. I'm sure that it will come up, but I did mention that we weren't doing any "invasive" fertility treatments.

I'm so glad that we're praying the rosary together every night. We definitely have a lot to pray for right now!

301

When I started my blog on January 7, 2008 I never expected all the wonderful gifts it has brought me. I knew that I needed an outlet. We had been at the infertility game for two and a half years at the time and I was at my wits' end.

We had made the decision to leave our evil IF clinic and had just started acupuncture. I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that we were going to be infertile forever. It also didn't help that my teaching partner was very pregnant and I was sneaking away to the evil doctor's office a few times a month.

If it wasn't for this blog I wouldn't have found the Marguerite Bourgeouys Family Centre and NaproTechnology, or at least it would've taken me much longer to have found it. It was a fellow blogger that recommended the centre to me and I will be forever grateful. It wasn't until Mr. JB and I attended the Introductory Session that I finally realized that there was an answer to my barrenness.

I know that the journey hasn't been easy -- two surgeries, three hospitalizations, countless medications and needles. I may still be waiting for our baby, but at least I am disease-free and so much healthier. I don't know if I will ever carry a baby in my womb, but I know that I am healthy and (relatively) pain-free.

I have also been so blessed to have made so many friends through my blog. I have met many of you in person (yay BW's!!!!), chatted with you on the internet, and made friends with you on FB. Whenever I've hit a low I know that all of you are just a post away. Your comments have buoyed me through recuperating from surgeries, changing schools and soon changing grades, getting pg news and most of all you've helped me stay sane through this journey through infertility. I have thanked God for all of you many, many times and so often I felt closer to you than my IRL friends that I see on a daily basis.

So as were start another cycle (and finish another round of F.emara), I'm feeling hopeful. It may have been the unseasonably warm weather and the sun shining today. Or perhaps I'm on an up-swing from the low that I hit last week. I'm starting to believe that I will be a mother again. It's been a long time since I would even entertain the idea.

Tomorrow night Mr. JB and I are attending our first adoption information meeting with the C.hildren's A.id Society. I'm nervous and excited. I am going to take a lot of notes and hopefully many of our questions will be answered, but I'm certain that we will have even more.

Something that has been going through my mind the past couple of days is, "In God's time." I read it on some one's blog recently, but I can't remember who. I am trying really hard not to push against what is supposed to happen for us. I just have to believe that it is going to happen.

And it will. I know that it will. It just has to.

Faking It

So we're going out for dinner with Mr. JB's cousins and their wives. I've blogged about one of Mr. JB's cousins -- remember the one that fed me burnt hot dogs but didn't have the audacity to apologize for not being able to feed me? Anyhow, I have been stressing out all day about this dinner. I've been snippy all day and I've been thinking of ways of getting out of it.

But I can't.

It also doesn't help that Mr. JB's other cousin's wife is seven months pregnant. Yes, the cousin and his wife that just do not get along. And yes, they were married a year after us and this is their second baby.

Argh.

I know that I will get all dressed up and I will be able to fake it through dinner. I just find it so absolutely draining to pretend that I like this woman. It also doesn't help that she is not exactly the most sensitive about our IF.

I'm trying to focus on good things. I went to the hair dresser today and he only charged me for a blow dry because he didn't trim a lot of hair! How great is that??? I saved HALF the cost of getting my hair done (which I'm growing back out, the short hair thing isn't me at all). Also Mr. JB is on a new health kick because at his yearly physical the doctor found that his cholesterol is way high. We bought so much healthy food at the grocery store that he is actually going to eat! I'm so glad that he is finally going to listen to the doctor and start living a healthier lifestyle. We eat well at home but as soon as he's at school his bad habits rear their ugly head.

I need to take a nap before we go out tonight. I need all the energy that I can muster!

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This was my 300th post! I missed my bloggoversary in January (Happy 2nd Birthday Blog!). I'm thinking that some sort of blog retrospective is in order....

Take Two

I started my first double dose of F.emara. The cramps were pretty painful last month -- Dr. T said that it was the F.emara that made the symptoms worse, having ovaries working double time this month is going to be interesting!

I spent much of the evening unconscious on the couch. I can't remember the last time I slept for THREE hours after school! I was up pretty late last night watching men's figure skating! I guess I have to work harder on my Lenten promise to be in bed by 10pm!

Today was a nice day at school. We had an Ash Wednesday liturgy and I helped give ashes to the children. My class was so cute. We talked about the various sacrifices we were going to make for the next 40 days and they're suggestions were so cute! One of them said that they were going to do their homework and I said, "Well you should you be doing that every night! I don't know if that counts as a Lenten promise!"

I wish all of you a blessed Lenten season!