Day Fifteen of the Big Infertile Adventure -- Where JB Starts to Lose Her Mind -- UPDATED

I am officially done with being in pain.

Done.

Like dinner.

My second-look lap went well (as Mr. JB reported yesterday) and we were back at our awesome hotel by 1pm. I have never been so grateful for the ultra-comfy beds!

The biggest reason for my frustration was that I felt great when I woke up yesterday morning. I did have some pain, but it was totally bearable and I didn't need any help getting ready.

[sigh]

I know that this is a temporary setback and that this is all part of the healing process. Also, I didn't eat enough yesterday so I had a horrible headache and my blood sugar was all over the place. I was really careful to eat breakfast and snack today since the painkillers did nothing for my head.

I think that I'm also worried that Dr. Hilgers is going to have bad news, although he was very positive when he spoke to Mr. JB after both my surgeries. As I've blogged before, this is it. My last surgeries. Ever. The last thing that we are going to do to have biological children. Part of me wishes that Dr. Hilgers will say that we can't have kids so we can move on, but another part of me is scared to hear anything he has to say.

I've tried my best to keep positive, but being the social being that I am, it's hard to be holed up in a hotel room in an unfamiliar city. There is only so much television a girl can watch! Mr. JB tried to cheer me up by watching the M.uppet S.how DVD that he got me for Christmas. Even that didn't get me to laugh.

I know that this is a passing phase and that we are both very homesick right now (although we are in love with the beds!). Once we're home I know that my spirits will be better since I will have people visiting me.

This dying to self business is tough stuff!

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Update: I spent the entire day feeling sorry for myself. It wasn't until I took a shower at 7pm (yes, I am a sloth) that I realized why my belly was in so much pain. I have two new incisions, not one! When Dr. Hilgers removed the Gore.tex yesterday he made another incision below my belly button as well as the incision inside. That explains why my stomach hurts, it isn't just gas pain! I don't know why that makes me feel better, but knowing that there is a physical cause is a comfort.

I chewed gum (and blew bubbles), had some fizzy water, ate beans and walked around our hotel room many times. The gas pain has abated, but the belly pain is still there. I am so glad that the hospital sent me home with an ice pack!

Also, the bandage covering my belly button is in the shape of a flower and the incision below is a heart. I think that the Fellow working with Dr. H has a sweet sense of humour!