I feel like I've been a whirling dervish since getting home on Monday. I knew that as soon as I walked into my school on Tuesday morning that I would have to hit the ground running, but I didn't realize how overwhelmed I would feel.
I don't deal well with being stressed and I work very hard at keeping my stress levels at bay, but it doesn't seem like the universe wants to cooperate right now.
First off, my class is nuts. It was pouring rain today so the kids had to stay in for recess. At lunch I popped in quickly (I have to on a regular basis because my class is so crazy) and I caught a kid standing on a desk. WTF??? What goes through the heads of these kids? They were so happy to see me, unfortunately their behaviour didn't get any better while I was away.
Secondly, I have been playing phone tag with someone at PPVI. I have tried to pre-register for my surgery for three weeks. Every time I call the person isn't there and then they do not return voice mail. In desperation I left my work number, but who knows if I will get the call transferred to my classroom or if they will call back. I hope that I get to talk to the person I need to talk to before we leave for Omaha!
Thirdly, I paid my first installment for my surgery and I got the lowdown on the lab charges that I will have to pay. I am so grateful that we are staying with the Jesuits in Omaha (for free!) since the $2100 price tag on the lab charges took me aback. Seems as though we have to dip into more savings.
Fourthly, my wonderful husband waited until today to find out about how we are going to take $11 000 to Omaha. It was the one thing that he had to do while I was with TCIE and he didn't do it. Although my husband is really helpful, sometimes he needs A LOT of prodding to accomplish tasks. It also bothers me that I just want to take over and do it for him, but I didn't and I didn't throw anything at his head. He was very lucky that the bank was helpful and I didn't have to get involved -- it would've gotten ugly if I had to talk to bank.
Fifthly (is that a word?), we were supposed to get together with friends for dinner on Saturday. We made plans in August and now all of a sudden no one but us can go because of their kids. One of them (who knows about our IF) said this in his e-mail:
I was also going to send out a heads up email that we may have to back out, too... But we won't know til later in the week. The restaurant looks fabulous! We'd really like to... But kids... Sigh.
Um no, I have no idea because I AM FREAKING BARREN! AND I PLANNED THIS DINNER IN AUGUST BECAUSE I KNEW THAT I WOULDN'T BE IN ANY CONDITION TO GO OUT FOR WEEKS AFTER MY LAPAROTOMY THAT IS GOING TO COST US $20 000!
I so wish that I could've sent that as a reply, but I didn't. Instead I had a tasty dinner and a nice glass of white wine after my yoga class.
Lastly, a teacher that took one of the workshops that I taught in the summer has been pestering me. I teach workshops to help other educators, but I don't think that I have to hold someone's hand just because she was in attendance. I have tried to help this woman out and point her in the right direction, but she just doesn't seem to get it. I also don't have the time to deal with her.
Is it wrong for me to be happy to be going on leave, because at this point I am pretty darned excited.
p.s. Please say a prayer for me tomorrow afternoon. I have to head back to the lab for my post-Peak blood work and the people weren't the swiftest when I had my day 5 blood taken.
Prayer said.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would be looking forward to the break (even if it was to have surgery) as well :).
Oh gosh, I would feel the stress welling up too! Here's to a great break from it all (and I know some friends and family mean well, but that email could certainly have been worded better!)
ReplyDeleteHmmm...I remember playing phone tag with the surgery registration people as well and then when I finally got through it was a series of very simple questions confirming the information that they already had. It sounds like they need another employee at that desk! I hope your stress starts to ease soon, very soon!
ReplyDeleteUm, that's not hitting the ground running - that is hitting the ground sprinting at Olympic speeds. Hope you have some time to take a few deep breaths before heading to Omaha!
ReplyDeleteNo, it's not wrong for you to be looking forward to your leave! I remember being excited about mine, even though I knew I was going to be in some pain from the surgery. I was looking forward to the resting time. And, your friends that all cancelled on you are turds. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen those couples try to plan the next dinner, which is likely to happen, you should send an email rsvp saying, "So sorry to have to back out, but I had a feeling this would happen... you know... $20,000 major laparotomy surgery... oh, wait, you don't know?? Oh that's right, the only experience you all have is being a parent! Hm. Doesn't exactly make you a worldly adult, does it?"
ReplyDeleteHehe. OK, so that's mean... but I have little tolerance for people like that. Come ON! MONTHS in advance you can't get a babysitter??
You may be surprised, but getting sassy with people may really really help. seriously. make em feel awkward, and you won't carry around the anger that it causes you. And they won't say silly things anymore.
ReplyDeleteWhenever someone ever moaned in front of me about being pregnant, I always tell them that I know thousands of people that would happily take their place, and they should just enjoy this experience that they were lucky enough to have. And sometimes being straight forward is just so much better for your psyche.
Perhaps replying with "I'm sorry that you can't arrange a sitter given 3 months notice, would 6 months notice suffice in the future?".
It's not wrong to be happy! In a weird way, the surgery is kind of relaxing. Oh, it hurts like crap, of course, and you may at some points wonder if you'll ever feel like a human again. But it's relaxing in the sense that you have zero obligations other than to get well.
ReplyDeleteYou don't worry about work...because you can't be there anyway! You don't worry about cleaning house, etc. because you can't do it anyway! And best of all (at least this is how it was for me), you don't worry about TTC because, hey, you can't do that right now anyway!! (Though, I will tell you, the husbands do not see this as a bonus.) Add to the mix a little Hebrews hangout time, and you've got a rootin' tootin' good time. (Literally...you can't go home until you toot.)
PS--I will never understand how people who KNOW about IF struggles can say crap like that. I'm a believer that infertiles should be able to say the exact responses that come into their heads. Lord knows I wanted to, a million times. I wonder what the world would be like if we actually did that!
ReplyDeleteI think the break from work will do you good! Time to not worry about it, and just focus on your wellness! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd fertiles just don't get it. Not fair. No way around it? It IS lame, and at least we can sympathize!
"I'm sorry that you can't arrange a sitter given 3 months notice, would 6 months notice suffice in the future?"
ReplyDeleteNadine's answer is perfect!!!
I'm so sorry about your friends cancelling and then saying that crummy excuse to you. (grrrrr)
I will pray that things line up for you so that your stress level will drop soon.
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