Learning to be lazy

I thought I was going to die yesterday. 

I'm not exaggerating. 

Not one bit. 

We went to the mainland to visit a girlfriend who moved there last year (can I say jealous enough????). I didn't think that the ferry would be a big deal, but it was. 

I don't mind little boats.

That are propelled by oars. 

That are close to shore.

Larger, faster boats.

Non, merci.

I will never go on a cruise. 

When we were in town earlier this week I could barely look at the cruise ships docked in the harbour. I felt like hyperventilating when my friend asked if we wanted to see her ship.

Again, non, merci.

So the ferry ride was incredibly bumpy because of the bad weather and wind. 

I have never been so grateful to have my rosary with me. Did I ever work those beads!!! 

A bunch of you got some prayers last night! 

So this morning instead of getting up for a run I decided to sleep in. 

For those of you that have followed this blog, you know that is a big deal. 

I don't usually say no to exercise, unless I'm injured or sick.

Of which I was neither.

I chose to be lazy.

And watch re-runs of Frie.nds.

I will be partaking in the pool aerobics, but I can't imagine it will be too taxing.

Maybe this is a first step in forgiving my body?

Perhaps I'm trying to be kinder?

I'm trying hard not to feel guilty, because I do. 

But I will resist the urge to run back to our room and put on my running shoes.

Instead I promise to stay under my palapa and read magazines.

If I say it here, I can't very well do the opposite, right? 

Thoughts from under my palapa

[I go months without anything to say and I go away on vacation and suddenly I'm struck with so much inspiration.]

Sitting around not doing much of nothing gives me so much time to think. 

When I'm home running around like a chicken without a head (with my class this year I have to be ON all the time, there is A LOT to manage: low readers, bad behaviours, lazy kids and just plain dumbness)  I don't have time to think too deeply. And when I get home I'm too exhausted to think about much. 

As I lie under my palapa covered in a beach cover-up and wearing a tankini, I wish I was braver. 

There are many women at my resort that are proudly wearing bikinis (that really shouldn't be), but who don't care about what others think. 

Regardless of all the working out, running and yoga that I do, I never feel confident enough to wear anything remotely revealing on the beach. 

Who do I have to blame?

My crazy mother?

The media?

But really, it's mostly me. 

As I ran on the treadmill this morning all I could think of was how much more I could do, not what I was actually accomplishing. 

Honesty, I am such a head case. 

I wish I could be prouder of my body.

Scars and all.

Little dimples of cellulite included. 

I've spent almost ten years of my life trying to get it to do something that it just can't. I wish I could accept all of my body's faults.

And maybe even forgive it.

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to accomplish all that sitting on the beach today, but I think recognizing my crazy is the first step. 

Blisters

My right foot has been our first casualty of our trip.

We went into town for Sunday mass and I didn't think to "break in" my sandals. I also forgot to pack band aids in my purse we had to spend way too much money at a souvenir shop.

I know, first world problems. 

Mass was beautiful, if not long. I really wish I spoke Spanish! The only problem was when I went up for communion I wanted a blessing since I can't take the host (the saddest thing about being allergic to gluten). The Eucharistic minister was apologetic and said that he couldn't give a blessing and that I would have to go to the priest (he had fantastic English!). Unfortunately, the priest was already wrapping up communion by the time I got out of my line. Mr JB said to ask for a blessing afterwards, but I felt so defeated by that point. He knew I was there, that's what counts, right? 

Today and tomorrow are completely lazy days. Our biggest decisions are beach or pool.

How I have needed this time away!!!!

Sending all of you love and prayers from underneath a palm tree! 

Getting away from it all

2014 is only three months old and I feel like I've been run ragged.

An INCREDIBLY cold winter (even by Canadian standards) plus a crazy class on top of furiously preparing for the end of our homestudy process has burnt me out. 

Have I mentioned that I was sick with the flu then a horrible chest cold for most of January and February? 

And that I'm trying to train for a 10K in May?

Thank goodness that we're not (actively) TTC! 

That would surely take me over the edge. 

Not that I have far to go.

I am so grateful that Mr JB booked a vacation down south. 

No boots. 

Or coats. 

Or scarves.

Or hats. 

For a blessed week. 

I didn't tell him, but I'm considering this our babymoon.

I'm hoping that this time next year we won't be able to afford a vacation because I'll be home with our kids (Yes, friends that is plural.  The JellyBellies are open to adopting a sibling group!). 

I am sending prayers and warm thoughts to all of you. I promise to toast all of you from the beach! 

p.s. I bring you the first towel animal of the trip. This guy was waiting for us on our bed when we arrived. LOVE towel animals!